Hit with £13,000+ vet bill - how do we pay it?

Raspberry_Queen

Our family's beloved cat was sadly put to sleep on Sunday, after a serious health crisis. Money was no object for helping our precious girl, so we opted for surgery and various other treatments to save her life. Tragically, they failed. 

Anyway our pet insurance of £4000 was already maxed out, after a health crisis in May which she thankfully recovered from. This final crisis will cost us £12000, and another £1000 from the referring vet. Worse still, two months later, for unknown reasons, the insurance company are refusing to pay the £3,300 to the RVC for her May treatment. So in the worst case scenario, if the insurance company wriggle out of paying everything, our final bills could total over £16,000.

To be brief, the thing I would like advice on is how we should pay:

1) Pay in cash and lose all or most of our savings. 
2) Get a low-interest loan and worry about it later, giving us time to try to raise the money. 
3) Get equity release - if that's possible given me and my brother are under 55 and each own 25% of the house. 
4) Get a small mortgage on our house, which is worth maybe £290,000 at the moment and we own outright. 

We were too busy worrying about our cat and in the moment, my dad said we will get a loan. If we each pay £5 a week, we can handle it. "We" being me, my brother, and my dad. 

I shouldn't have trusted him, my dad is now denying he ever said we would get a loan. He is terrified of commitment and has never put his name to anything whatsoever. He also has a history of breaking promises. He is also tight.

Here are our financial and personal situations:

I am 30, disabled, live with my mother in her house, and have been on benefits (Incapacity, followed by DLA and ESA) since I was 16 or 17. I have over £5000 savings. It was previously nearing £6000, but I've had to spend a lot on smaller vet fees, and special products for my cat for her health condition, before she died. My social worker informed me a few weeks ago that I am being investigated by DWP for a supposed change in circumstances. I do not know why this is, but I suspect that it's because during our cat's crisis and emergency treatment in May, we got paperwork from the Royal Veterinary College that we would be turned away if we couldn't pay. It was an emergency admission, and my dad refused to pay, so I transferred money from the money that my DLA goes into, into the account that my ESA goes into, to ensure that I could pay with my debit card if necessary, to ensure our cat got admitted. According to a friend, this would have made me look suspicious to the DWP. They have not contacted me personally yet. 

My dad is 69 and a pensioner. Prior to reaching OAP-hood, he was on some kind of incapacity benefit since about 1994 due to his severe mental health conditions. He has thousands of cash savings, but I'm not sure how much. I think it may be approaching £10,000. He is a hoarder and does have quite a few valuable collectibles (along with filth and useless crap), but they may be difficult to sell due to hoarding. However he did manage to sell some collectibles last year, hence the cash savings. 

My brother, 28, lives with my dad, and has never had a job, never been on benefits, and has about £800 cash from saved birthday and Christmas money over many years. He has severe undiagnosed mental health conditions, and is too paranoid to see a doctor. He is my dad's carer but this is not registered. He lives off of Gladys's (see below) benefits. He refuses to get on benefits due to paranoia. 

They both live with an 85 year old lady, lets call her Gladys, who is our surrogate Nan, and my dad's surrogate Mum. They have lived with her since 2002, when my dad was homeless and she took him in. In return he sorted out her finances, which she struggled with. She has become hard of hearing and has reduced vision, and has other health issues. She and my dad function as each other's carers. They are not in a relationship. They are co-dependent on each other as both have a literal phobia of being alone (not a euphemism for being single, literally alone). Gladys has not really been involved in paying for our cat, and she is too deaf and confused to make decisions by herself any more. 

Myself, my dad, my brother, and Gladys each own 25% of the house they live in. It is owned outright with no mortgage. It is worth about £290,00 and would be worth about £320,000 if it was in a better state. 
 
After receiving a lot of money from my mum - more than he deserved - in 2011 ten years after their split, (she obtained an enormous mortgage to pay him), my dad paid Gladys so that they both owned the house together. Almost immediately, when we were 18 and 19, my dad then took us down the solicitors and made us sign some papers that me and my brother would now own 25% of the house each. The first we saw or heard of the papers, or knew why we were there, was when we arrived in the room. I expressed my discomfort, and was told by my dad that Gladys had given us an incredible gift and that to question it would be cruel, hurtful and ungrateful. She was sat in the car. The solicitor seemed unbothered, so we signed the papers without reading them or understanding the situation. (We believe his true purpose in putting us on the deeds is due to his death anxiety and superstition about making wills, and also so that a sale can't be forced if Gladys ever goes into a home).

I think we should mortgage the house, as it would only be a small mortgage and the repayments would be affordable. This would save losing our cash, which we need for various things, including my dental work and gum surgery, and also urgent work needs to be done on the house they live in, which is a hellhole. For example, the back door doesn't open, some of the windows don't open or don't close, the bathroom sink leaks and rotted the floorboards, the lights don't work in the kitchen after a bathroom flood upstairs and the plaster is ruined etc. So not frivolous decorations, but proper work that my dad has avoided for years, due to being a hoarder and fearing change and parting with money. The house has not been decorated since it was built. 

My dad and brother refuse to mortgage the house as they like the secure feeling of not having a mortgage. I think this is selfish as I live with my mum who has an enormous mortgage because of my dad. 

An alternative would be equity release, but I'm not sure if this is possible as me and my brother are under 55. 

My third choice would be a low-interest loan, however I think the only one suitable to have the loan in their name would be my dad. My brother has hardly anything to his name and has never even had a debit card. I don't think he even has a bank account. I have had a debit card since I was 16 but never a credit card, and also I am scared because of knowing that the DWP are investigating me. I'm not sure I would be approved for a loan anyway. My dad hates having anything in his name and will refuse. 

My last choice would be paying in cash as we would lose all our choices and freedom to improve our situations in any way. 

Finally, the only reason our cat got so severely ill was because they refused to take her to the vets this past winter when she first had symptoms. They justified it because she hates the vets and seemed to recover and be healthy again, also my dad has a fear of anything medical and would prefer to bury his head in the sand and pretend everything is ok. But this makes me feel resentful that I will have to shoulder close to half of the the vet bills when it is not my fault. I'm willing to pay my share for the bills, but it makes me resentful that they don't care at all about my security, or my payment preferences. 

Sorry for the extraneous personal information, I am just giving it because it's such an unusual living situation and am anticipating confused questions. 

[Deleted User]

Pay in cash and rebuild your savings.

Jami74

If they'd asked for the cash up front, would you have paid it to save her? You can't really change your mind about money being no object for helping your precious girl.

It's good that you have some savings for when things like this happen. I hope your dad doesn't refuse to help.

The_Fat_Controller

Your personal "change in circumstances" cannot be anything to do with moving your own money between accounts, they would not know about that.

It could be that as you seem to have been out and about organising the cat's treatment your social worker is reassessing your capabilities.

Ask them.

As for the debt, get everybody to chip in with cash and if there isn't sufficient, arrange a payment plan.

soolin

You say you have an option to pay in cash which will clear virtually all of your savings, but I can't see where that money is unless you are expecting your dad to put the bulk of it, and reading the OP that doesn't seem likely. If you have £5000 and your brother £800 that leaves a shortfall of over £10,000 for your dad to fund - and you are not even sure he has that amount.

However I can't see you getting a loan, and re mortgaging the house looks like it won't be possible with the reluctance of others involved. 

I hope someone else has some suggestions, are there any charitable organisations etc that might assist with any part of it? 

MallyGirl

Hopefully if the insurance do weasel out of the payment in May then that will at least be applied to the latest claim.
I understand how bills can mount up after losing my cat last year where we tried everything and blew the insurance limit by a long way.
Your Dad is at fault for saying he would get a loan when he actually won't but I am quite surprised that the vet took the word of a pensioner. The referral vet in our case insisted in payment of a significant deposit (card machine in the car park) before they would let the cat through the door.

Raspberry_Queen

Thanks for the replies everyone. I guess this is what cash is for. 

We did have to pay a £500 deposit, and a £350 consultation fee (which I paid). Come to think of it, I wonder if either of those will come off the final £12000 bill for the referral centre vets. 

I have £5000+, and my brother actually has £1200. My dad actually has £12000. Since I have paid for almost all of her products (our cat needed a special diet, and I also bought expensive supplements), I think it's fair for me to pay £5000.

@Jami74 no need for the sneering tone. We loved our cat very much, and she loved us. We had a parental kind of responsibility to her. And yes, as I said, I moved money between accounts in May, because I was willing to pay cash. 

@The_Fat_Controller the change in circumstances is to do with money, the DWP have nothing to do with my social worker or support needs. They only care about my financial circumstances. I have never been unable to arrange appointments, that's not part of my care needs or support plan. 

Jami74

Raspberry_Queen said:

@Jami74 no need for the sneering tone. We loved our cat very much, and she loved us. We had a parental kind of responsibility to her. And yes, as I said, I moved money between accounts in May, because I was willing to pay cash. 

It wasn't intended to come across as sneering, sorry it did. I have also have pets which are very much a part of my family (and the cost of vets bills makes me hugely grateful for the NHS because if I had to pay for my human family's health bills I'd be thousands in debt). It does seem incredibly unfair to have a massive bill after losing a loved one. I was trying to point out that if they'd asked you for £5000 up front you'd have paid it, therefore in a way that money is already spent.

I hope your Dad helps pay some of it. Maybe you could offer a bit less than your £5000 (eg £3000, so you've still got an emergency fund) and ask them about repayment plans. They might be helpful if they can see that you are trying.

enthusiasticsaver

As none of you are working you won't get a mortgage or loan. Benefits do not usually count as income. Your best bet is to pay as much cash as possible and ask if the vets do a repayment plan. Sorry about your cat.  

Nebulous2

This seems like a tragic circumstance where one thing has led to another, which has got out of control. Did you notify the benefits people that you owned 25% of a house that you don’t live in? 

That could be a reason for them investigating. 

phillw

The_Fat_Controller said:

Your personal "change in circumstances" cannot be anything to do with moving your own money between accounts, they would not know about that.

If they had received a "tip off" and then started an investigation, then moving the money might have been what convinced them to that could be what they consider a change in circumstance.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/dwp-could-monitoring-your-bank-5271845

As long as your circumstances haven't actually changed then hopefully you should be ok.