Executor - Can I nominate someone else?

Mojisola

securityguy said:

insurebetto said:

In response to your question.
No you can not nominate anyone. You can hire a solicitor to do it for your family.

Under the circumstances outlined, that won't help: the sisters will just blame the OP for the actions of their solicitor and, of course, the OP would be on the hook for the solicitor's bills unless and until the estate could afford them.  In these circumstances the sisters would complain about money being "wasted".

The OP won't have to pay the solicitor's bill.  It will come out of the estate when everything has been dealt with.

Knowing that every question asked and item challenged will increase the cost and reduce their inheritance may well prevent the sisters from being too awkward.  The solicitor and staff will also be used to dealing with difficult beneficiaries and won't be emotionally affected by them.

MadMonkey - I employed a solicitor to deal with Dad's estate - I stayed as executor but he dealt with everything while I just signed off the paperwork.

If you do the same, just make sure you don't get into discussions with the sisters.  Get used to saying "The solicitor is dealing with the estate" and changing the subject/ending the conversation.

poppystar

Even if you employ a solicitor I would think you are still going to have some of the issues that worry you as these seem to be based around getting access to your mother’s paperwork and going through it. I wouldn’t expect a solicitor would routinely do that on your behalf and if they did I think it may become an expensive process. Do ask any solicitor you approach about this as default would be you providing them with the information.

If the solicitor becomes sole Executor (and I’m not sure if that is possible from previous replies) then that would be different, although possibly equally costly. 

Think carefully and if you don’t want to do the task because of the stress and bad feelings it might entail there is no shame in renouncing particularly if your eldest sister is happy to take on the task. Can you discuss these options and your reasons with her and the younger sisters at all? I got the impression from your post that this hadn’t happened yet.

MadMonkey007

poppystar said:

Even if you employ a solicitor I would think you are still going to have some of the issues that worry you as these seem to be based around getting access to your mother’s paperwork and going through it. I wouldn’t expect a solicitor would routinely do that on your behalf and if they did I think it may become an expensive process. Do ask any solicitor you approach about this as default would be you providing them with the information.

If the solicitor becomes sole Executor (and I’m not sure if that is possible from previous replies) then that would be different, although possibly equally costly. 

Think carefully and if you don’t want to do the task because of the stress and bad feelings it might entail there is no shame in renouncing particularly if your eldest sister is happy to take on the task. Can you discuss these options and your reasons with her and the younger sisters at all? I got the impression from your post that this hadn’t happened yet.

You are correct, no discussions with the sisters has happened yet.

But we are all meeting tomorrow, so I’m sure this subject will be on the agenda.

Keep_pedalling

MadMonkey007 said:

poppystar said:

Even if you employ a solicitor I would think you are still going to have some of the issues that worry you as these seem to be based around getting access to your mother’s paperwork and going through it. I wouldn’t expect a solicitor would routinely do that on your behalf and if they did I think it may become an expensive process. Do ask any solicitor you approach about this as default would be you providing them with the information.

If the solicitor becomes sole Executor (and I’m not sure if that is possible from previous replies) then that would be different, although possibly equally costly. 

Think carefully and if you don’t want to do the task because of the stress and bad feelings it might entail there is no shame in renouncing particularly if your eldest sister is happy to take on the task. Can you discuss these options and your reasons with her and the younger sisters at all? I got the impression from your post that this hadn’t happened yet.

You are correct, no discussions with the sisters has happened yet.

But we are all meeting tomorrow, so I’m sure this subject will be on the agenda.

It is good that you are getting together, try to keep any emotion out of it. Ask for their help with things like contacting relatives and arranging the funeral, also explain to them that what you have been tasked with is not easy and that you would appreciate their help in gathering all the information required to fill in the probate forms (might be worth printing copies out to show them). 

I would also promise to keep them informed every step of the way.

MadMonkey007

Update time.

After seriously thinking about it, I have informed my sisters my intention to step down as Executor.

The backlash from my eldest sister was immediate.

"I was adding to the stress and delaying things".  Not true I stated - me stepping away expediates the processing of the estate.

"Funeral will have to be re-arranged and financial implications for the rest of the family".  Not true I stated - the funeral can go ahead, and when did I ever say I'd not contribute to the costs.  In truth, if I've read correctly, only the Executor can arrange the funeral, yet my middle sister took it on.

And the one that hurts the most:-

"I don't give a toss".  Very hurtful and further from the truth.

And if I did the role, I'd possibly get forced to do what the elder sister wanted.  It was a sad no-win situation.

RAS

MadMonkey007 said:

"Funeral will have to be re-arranged and financial implications for the rest of the family".  Not true I stated - the funeral can go ahead, and when did I ever say I'd not contribute to the costs.  In truth, if I've read correctly, only the Executor can arrange the funeral, yet my middle sister took it on.

None of you should be contributing to the funeral costs. It is the priority item that comes out of the estate.  Ask the directors to bill the bank directly, or get the bill and take it to the bank.