Contentious probat

edited 16 July 2021 at 7:44AM in Marriage, relationships & families
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Hi,
I'm presently going through a contentious situation with my half brother. My father died in February 20, and since this time I have been given letters of administration as there was no will. My brother did apply for this, however he put the wrong date of death on his application, was given letters and then I contested it, the probate office after much chasing  amended the mistake and awarded them to me. This was January this year. I advised my brother immediately and asked to discuss my father's house being sold and split between us and another sibling who is in agreement. (there's 3 of us) My brother insisted he will bankrupt me before he allows me or my other brother a share in our father's home. He lived with my father in his last years as my brother  came out of prison and struggled to get work. He has his own home which he rents out for an income. He's been threatening violence if I go to my father's house, has got rid of all my father's possessions, some of which I wanted to keep, nothing of money value but deeply sentimental to me. He's been through two solicitors, and still hasn't put an inheritance claim in against us, I've found out today he's fired his most recent solicitor. He's blocked my phone number now so my only way to contact him is to write him a letter, although I have a feeling he'll just ignore this. I really want to avoid the cost and stress of a solicitor and court, but I don't know what else to do. I'm liable for a property I can't go anywhere near, and I can't grieve properly as this is hanging over me all the time. I should also say reportedly he's hardly at the house any longer because he stays with his long term girlfriend who is pregnant. He's quoted as saying 'I come back here when me and her have argued to get away"
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance

Replies

  • TBagpussTBagpuss Forumite
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    Sadly I think you are going to have to involve a solicitor as he is so unreasonable.

    I think as the administrator you are permitted (even have a duty) to secure the house, so  can attend with a locksmith at a time he is not there, and get the locks changed . In the circumstances, you might also want to consider getting aan alarm / security camera fitted .

    Make sure that you keep detailed records of all of your expenses, the costs of maintaining the house, insuring it etc until it is sold are debts of the estate so if you need to pay them up front you will be able to reclaim that from the estate (i.e. the sale proceeds) before these are divided.

    You may also find that he behaves better if you involve a solicitor - it's not uncommon for people who are very unpleasant and aggressive to their family  to back down when you involve a solicitor and they realise that their bullying is not working. 

    Report the threats of violence to the police. I know you may not want to do so as he is your brother, but he is clearly not moved by any consideration of your relationship, so take the steps necessary to document what he is doing and to protect yourself. You may also want to report the threats re: bankruptcy as harassment.

    As the administrator, you should be able to sell the house with or without his cooperation. 
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • sassybluesassyblue Forumite
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    What an awful situation.  I do think in cases like this it’s important to get a solicitor on board and get on with it.  Your brother is the unreasonable one and he needs to learn you won’t pussyfoot around him, if you do this matter will go on forever but if you forge ahead he will eventually learn you mean business.


    Happy moneysaving all.
  • Keep_pedallingKeep_pedalling Forumite
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    I am afraid you are going to have to get him evicted, before you can get the house on the market. You need to take legal advice as soon as possible. 
  • Trooper21Trooper21 Forumite
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    I agreew with all of the above. He is using avoidance and bully tactics to try and 'win' - get a solicitor involved and take back some power.

    Ultimately you can't change how he is, but you can conduct yourself appropriately and afford yourself some dignity in dealing with it legally. It's awful and having been through something quite similar but in different circumstances I relaly sympathise.
  • calleywcalleyw Forumite
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    I really do think this would be better in the death, probate board as lots of people don't look at this board.  If a board guide could do the honors then I think the OP would get more advice

    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
  • PennylanePennylane Forumite
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    calleyw said:
    I really do think this would be better in the death, probate board as lots of people don't look at this board.  If a board guide could do the honors then I think the OP would get more advice

    So do I.  I came across this by accident.
  • sevenhillssevenhills Forumite
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    He lived with my father in his last years as my brother  came out of prison and struggled to get work. He has his own home which he rents out for an income. He's been threatening violence if I go to my father's house, has got rid of all my father's possessions, some of which I wanted to keep, nothing of money value but deeply sentimental to me.
    If you consider it a serious threat, you should inform the Police.
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