Direct Cremation plan

kuratowski

Similar to Gers and BooJewels' experiences, my Mum has decided on direct cremation, and it has been made very clear this means there will be no funeral service for everyone to attend.  She has explained her reasons for this to the entire family, and we all want to respect her wishes.

This doesn't preclude us holding a memorial in some format, at a time and place of our choosing, and not having any connection to the disposal of physical remains.

Gers

That terrible family situation is all about bad communication. 

My late mother made her wishes completely clear to all and sundry. When I informed everyone of her death by email I stated her wishes. When I placed a death notice in the paper I wrote 'a private cremation has already taken place. No-one complained. This afternoon I have an appointment to arrange a gathering for friends and family in late September. 

Direct cremations were 'popularised' by David Bowie. Yes, it's much cheaper (apart from the crematorium fee) but it reflects the long overdue move away from the rigid Victorian rituals which strangled families with a huge financial burden as well as imposing expectations of behaviour.  So many stories have been told about the elderly not heating their houses properly or eating enough in order to save enough for their funerals. Times are changing, thank goodness. 

Those who want all the bells and whistles can have it still. Others who would prefer less weeping and wailing and expense now have a proper option. And it's a good use of spare time at the crematorium. Of course they make money from it, and so they should!

hook

I used pure cremation for my Dad they were brilliant they came and collected him from home, they were in contact all the time. Yes the times were awful 0930 in the morning for 10 minutes . So we decided to have it at the actual funeral place we were allowed 30 minutes at anytime we wanted. You can send them list of music you wanted and photos to be shown on a screen they even allowed us to bring a bottle of whisky there to make a toast to him. It was brilliant. We collected the ashes the next morning.
And cheap as chips

KxMx

I lost my Nan & Uncle last year close together, after which my Aunt announced she wants a direct cremation and had paid for it so her daughters don't have the burden she did when Uncle died (he didn't believe in planning for the future). Even the cheapest of everything for him ran into thousands.


Nan prepaid and the FD ended up owing us money (due to them refusing to provide cars during Covid). 

I was taken aback by my Aunt but respected her wishes... I've now totally come around to the idea for myself!

I'm single and childless from a small family, one sibling, no neices/nephews, friends I value in quality and not quantity... 

I always wanted to be cremated anyway and if I have a relative around to scatter my ashes great, if not the FD can do it.