Best way to D.I.V.O.R.C.E... as quickly, painlessly (yes and as cheaply) as possible...

Elmer_BeFuddled

£550 or there about through the .gov.uk website.That and about 8 weeks wait which is nothing when I waited 23 yrs!! (I'm just lazy)

TBagpuss

martin2345uk said:

sheramber said:

https://www.gov.uk/divorce/file-for-divorce

Thank you for this - so we don't actually need solicitors and all that jazz..?

Interestingly it says under "adultery" that it has to be with a person of the opposite sex... but in my case he did it with someone of the same sex so I can't claim adultery!

It's because parliament couldn't work out how to define it where it didn't involve PinV intercourse! Recommendation was to remove adultery as  a reason for divorce for hetero couples as well, which would have made sense and been consistent, but they wouldn't do that either!

You can however use 'unreasonable behaviour' and state that he formed an 'improper relationship' with another man, which comes to much the same thing but doesn't require any proof of whether or how they had sex! 

You can't use desertion as that also has a time limit. The best option will be to do it now and use unreasonable behaviour, or wait till October and use 2 years separation. For a behaviour petition, you don't need lots of detail,, normally 2 short paragraphs giving examples of behaviour and the effect it had are enough - e.g. "(1) He formed a relationship with another man, this made me feel he was no longer committed to our marriage" plus one more of a similar length e.g. " (2) I felt that he was more interested in spending time with his friends than with me, this made me feel lonely and isolated "

It should be fairly straightforward - you can do the divorce online - you need to tick the boxes to say you will be applying for a financial order even though it's going to be by agreement, the main cost if you do it yourself is the court fee of £550. Maybe agree in advance to split it and get your husband to give you his half upfront?

For finances it's sensible to get an order drawn up and approved by the court - you'd probably need to get a solicitor to do this but if it is simply to record that you have already split the assets and to make a clean break then it shouldn't be expensive. 

depending on your respective financial circumstances, it may be worth checking if either of you would be entitled to claim fee exemption / reduction . If so, it will be cheaper if that person issues the divorce and claims the discounted fee. (e.g. if he earns less than you and could get fee exemption, then letting him divorce you rather than the other way round could let you save some or all of the £550 court fee!)  

TBagpuss

T.T.D said:

adultery wouldn’t apply now because it happened more than 6 Months from point of discovery anyways. 

Courts tend not to care too much of Why your divorcing. The application is pretty straight forward, if you’ve already split finances and your not interested in each others pensions then you don’t necessary have any assets to discuss at court. 

While it doesn't apply here, the 6 months is about whether you continued to live with the adulterous spouse after learning of the adultery. 

If you found out in January, and separated in February, you could still start a divorce based on adultery in November, even though it was 10 months after you found out. However, if you found out in January, and isn't separate until August, you could not, as the fact that you continued to live as a couple for another 7 months after finding out about the adultery indicated that the marriage had not, in fact , broken down irretrievably. If you found out in January, accepted your spouses argument that it was a one off and therefore lived with the, then discovered in August that they had lied and it had been a long standing affair, then you could divorce them as the 6 months would run from that second discovery. 

However, wall this will be academic when the new law takes effect, which is now likely to be April next year. 

You are right that the courts don't much care, but you do need to make sure that you fit the criteria -