Lasting Power of Attorney 3 July 2021 at 12:20PM edited 3 July 2021 at 12:21PM in Marriage, relationships & families 6 replies 192 views

gettingtheresometime

Could someone point me in the direction of a leaflet that I can give my mum  regarding  LPAs ? 

I've thought for a long time it would be a good idea if she had one & her recent stay in hospital has reinforced that feeling. 

However, in her words  'she's not ready for that yet' and even though we've said that when she is ready for one, if she hasn't got one it's too late she's still resistant as I think she thinks that that's it, she's lost control the moment it's in place.

I just want a leaflet that I can give her & she can read it, realise that it's not her losing control & hopefully agree to it!

74jax

Age concern website could be a good starting point.

If she has just been in hospital is she on any social service lists who could chat to her? 

Poa is not something you can get 'when you need it' unfortunately it's too late then.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/legal-issues/power-of-attorney/

Browntoa

Explain that it's not needed now but needs doing now . It can be live from creation but the powers only used when or if they are needed ( I've had one for my mum for 6 years  never been needed ) 

It's not quick or cheap to get power of attorney after the event

https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney

Mojisola

gettingtheresometime said:

Could someone point me in the direction of a leaflet that I can give my mum  regarding  LPAs ? 

I've thought for a long time it would be a good idea if she had one & her recent stay in hospital has reinforced that feeling. 

However, in her words  'she's not ready for that yet' and even though we've said that when she is ready for one, if she hasn't got one it's too late she's still resistant as I think she thinks that that's it, she's lost control the moment it's in place.

Would it make a difference if you do yours at the same time? 

That should show her that it doesn't mean you lose control of your life when it's made.

elsien

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/power-of-attorney/

The thing she needs to bear in mind is that the power of attorney shouldn’t be used without involving her as far as possible anyway. It’s intended for her to keep control for as long as she wants to, or as long as she is able. 

I have both for parent but it did take about about 18 months from when I first mentioned it. What I found helped was printing off the paperwork so she could see what it covered and leaving it with her. This gave her the chance to think about what was important to her and also the practicalities. For example to wanted to have the 3 children only working it jointly. That was never going to work because we all live so far apart. 

It’s not just about money, it’s about if the worst comes the worst and she’s knocked over by a bus, or whatever, who does she want making the decisions about her life, where she lives, etc?  Because without an LPA it will be the doctors and social workers, not family. People have this idea the “next of kin” have decision making powers. They don’t. Next of kin has no legal meaning in this country, it’s just a named point of contact. No more, no less. 

It’s not all or nothing. So if she’s in hospital and needs someone to pay bills, get money for her, they can do, but when she’s well enough to do it herself again then things go back to normal if that’s what she wants. 

gettingtheresometime

Thanks everyone.

I know she thinks that once you've signed it, that's it, you're no longer in charge - unfortunately she's the type of person who once she's got an idea about something, it's very difficult to shift it.

I hadn't thought of doing one myself Mojisola ...that would flummox her!

Keep_pedalling

You could suggest that you will make a LPA for yourself at the same time. Really it is something all adults should consider not just the elderly, accidents and illness can take away anyone’s mental capacity without warning.