Tips on 'living' when your house needs lots of tlc

lookstraightahead

We've recently moved into a new (but very old) house. It's a bit of a project but we can live in it as it is, a do-er upper plus. 

I reckon it will take a good couple of years to get it right, and we need to do it a bit at a time, around work etc.

We have always been quite sociable, but we have moved areas and people want to come and stay. Presently we have no beds up because the carpets are old and some floorboards need replacing, no wardrobes (our clothes are on hangers), we take our washing to the laundrette as the plumbing needs checking next week. We are kind of living out of boxes. This has been going on for about 8 weeks.

Our DD has left home recently but I feel guilty that 'her' room is now full of, well, stuff.

Friends say they don't mind the mess. But I do. Others say they couldn't live with it not being sorted.

How do you socialise when you don't want even the shopping delivery man to see your hallway 😂

paulj2021

If your home is going to take years and you’re not going to socialise or invite people round during that works period you may get find you have no one left to invite when the house is done! People like to see their friends homes in progress, I know I do, they’re not going to judge you negatively on work in progress. Why not invite them, show them around and then go to a nice local pub or restaurant ?

Falafels

I've lived in a couple of houses which needed a lot of work doing to them, or had significant building works done while I was there. I've found the way to keep yer sanity is to have one room which is a haven even if everything else looks like a bomb site . If socialising's important, then concentrate on two rooms.

Then invite the friends who won't mind the mess in the rest of the house.

Look upon this as an evolutionary, rather than a revolutionary, process. In time, it will all be sorted.

Nikkilou86

Unpack your stuff, live normally and keep whichever room you plan to do last empty so that you can use it as storage for stuff from other rooms when they are being done.

We bought our second project November 2018 - I’ve finally had our snug plastered a couple of weeks ago as it’s been storage room for stuff coming in for other rooms/stuff from other rooms that needed to be out of the way while we did them and was even our bedroom for a while!!! 

getmore4less

Depending on the work and timescales you can get rooms presentable fairly cheaply as a temp solution.

Strip back the bad stuff, a coat of magnolia(or other cheap paint) to neutralise the issues until ready to do the proper job

large rugs(even cheap sheet vinyl)  than can be moved if current floors covering need removing and won't get replaced for a while.

seradane

Speaking as someone who's also moved into a doer-upper and lives far enough away from friends that we usually have them over for a weekend - although admittedly the property was initially in a slightly more liveable state than it sounds like yours is!

We've taken the following approach:

• There's certain things you can get done quickly (e.g. we got the floorboards refinished basically as soon as we moved in because it's much easier when there's no furniture in the rooms) that make a big difference to how presentable or otherwise the rooms are. If you can make a push to prioritise the guest room, e.g. paint the walls, set up furniture, even if you know you'll have to redo it later, then at least you have a semi-decent space for guests while you do the rest more gradually. 
• If you warn people ahead of time it's really bad, and they assure you they're fine with it, then you have to believe them, have them over anyway. You can spend the duration of their stay telling them about all the plans you have to fix it up. Yes it's bad right now but it's gonna be great
  
• IMO the perception of 'oh my house is horrible I don't want anyone to see it' is really only if it's a permanent living situation - most people will understand going through temporary pain to get something better at the other end. Plus the final result will be more impactful when your friends & family actually remember the before and realise how much work you've done.

We're currently tearing up our entire ground floor, and so our guest bedroom has become our living area. Some friends were in the area recently and wanted to come visit to meet our cat and see the place, even though we warned them it was a literal building site. They still wanted to come, so although they stayed in accommodation instead of with us like they normally would, we ended up perched in our temporary living area playing board games for most of the day and it was nice!

So don't stress too much - warn them it's not great and if they'd prefer to get seperate accommodation, they should do so. And have backup plans for activities that involve getting out of the house - but I suspect you'll find more people are ok with it and more interested than put off...

lookstraightahead

Thank you. I think it's the sanity thing. I need to apply some logic going forward. 

AdrianC

Two months, and you haven't even bothered doing stuff temporarily?

How long does it take to take the bed down for the carpet guys to have access eventually, then set it up again afterwards? An hour?

What needs "checking" about the plumbing that's stopping you using the washing machine?

lookstraightahead

AdrianC said:

Two months, and you haven't even bothered doing stuff temporarily?

How long does it take to take the bed down for the carpet guys to have access eventually, then set it up again afterwards? An hour?

What needs "checking" about the plumbing that's stopping you using the washing machine?

We had to remove a wall to find the stop !!!!!! - that was an interesting experience.
Ive taken on an extra job
my OH had a heart operation 
We did actually have a new fence fitted which is lovely, and we've cleared back the garden which had taken lots of our time but it was a real eye sore.

8 weeks flies by with work as well, and weeks later people still don't come back to you with quotes.

I'm not lazy, but my planning is rubbish.

onylon

My house had only cosmetic/minor work to do but I started with very little furniture and I'm doing everything myself so it's taking ages. I started with the things I needed to function as a normal adult human -  a mattress, basic cooking/washing facilities and I hung up my clothes so I wasn't living out of suitcases. Then and I went through room by room starting with the places I spend the most time during the day. For me that meant my office got done really fast and then I basically lived in that room for a couple of months. For low priority rooms I have put in very cheap rugs and furnished with the things I already have or cheap temporary stuff like fold down wardrobes, paper blinds, an inflatable sofa etc to make them liveable. I know doing the temporary stuff feels like waste of time/money but I find it really helps to take the pressure off. I also try to keep the mess/DIY to one room at a time and everything else neat and tidy so I can close the door on it and have some downtime. Now all the worst bits are done I'm making a conscious effort to spend time enjoying the finished rooms and feel positive about what I have done rather than worrying about what's left to do. When I take a day off I still try and get one thing done like putting up a blind, hanging some pictures or organising a cupboard so I see some progress.

RAS

Money and time......

It's summer, so getting outside sorted would be a high priority. Somewhere you can escape to and have new friends for a bit of a social visit?

With respect to carpets, get a rug-doctor and as long as they are clean, age becomes less relevant. Add a cheap rug if necessary.

Identify one room that is passable and paint the walls as they are, then tart up the skirting boards. Make that your haven, A rug to designate an eating area and a sofa or a couple of chairs. Low lighting over the table helps the rest "disappear". If you like pictures, put a few up to make it more homely.

Sounds like getting the hall deep-cleaned and painted would make you feel more comfortable as well.

Look for a futon or wooden frames bed on e-bay or freegle, and some collapsible racking. That way you can put boxes not needed soon onto racking on one wall, free up some floor space and pull out a temporary bed. Add hanging rails or over the door hooks.

Cleaning the grouting in the bathroom is another thing that refreshes a room without too much effort. 

If you're going to be doing stuff at weekends, then think carefully about how much hospitality you can really afford time wise. Keep in touch with old friends by booking a hotel room once every couple of months and arranging "dates" with them.