Worried and struggling thinking of dro

Denise70

Hi I am a 51 year old lady currently going through divorce due to domestic violence .I am also in bad health.I have been paying a dmp for years but decided due to my age and health to do a dro as I now have more debt due to fleeing the violence.

im worried as I am seeing money advice re the dro but recently sold a car for £6k , my mother-in-law gave my husband the money and he gave it to buy the car and it was put in my name due to him being banned, so all receipts were in my name .

Now I have fled the violence and stalking and waiting on divorce I sold the car to sever the links completely plus also my mother in law was expecting £250 a month back for 18 months for the car which hubby was meant to pay , but he's lost his job .So I sold the car to give her a lump sum .

.Bearing in mind I traded my own £2,000 car in to get the new vehicle that mother in law funded .So I retained £2,000 to buy a small car for me .And I am trying to pay her half the money every month .
i fear more violence and stalking and harassment if this stops , what I'm worried about is will the official receiver check DVLA to see if I had any cars in my name . 

I haven't slept for a week as I'm concerned about the first car , I didn't declare it as having it and the dro has not been submitted yet .I'm not concerned re the new car as I checked Parker's value .
I'm just concerned the fact that two weeks ago I had a £6k car registered at dvla will be found out when the official receiver makes his checks but I'm too scared to tell them in case they need to contact my ex or his mum and I get more danger .
Sorry for rambling I have severe anxiety at the moment and mild cognitive impairment.
can anyone advise please 

MalMonroe

Hi, I'm very sorry to hear about your circumstances. You say you are seeking money advice but have you spoken to StepChange? They are an excellent organisation who can advise you and offer help, without any judgement at all. 

All the questions you are asking can be answered by the advisors at StepChange. When I was in financial difficulty a few years ago I phoned them and they were so reassuring and helpful. I was allocated my own advisor who was very kind and sympathetic and helped me to submit my DRO.

I can definitely recommend them. Especially when you are feeling anxious and cannot sleep for worrying, as I was.

Good luck but if you contact StepChange, they will help to put your mind at ease. It's a free phone call so you lose nothing. Except a bit of time.

Here is the link : 
https://www.stepchange.org/

And their phone number : 0800 138 1111. 

They are open now, do try them. Even if you have to wait. In my experience it's well worth it.

Denise70

Thank you and I have spoke to them previous they pointed me to money advice due to me being a sole trader who isn't working and had no income
as I'm still register self employed although not working due to disability, they don't deal with self employed people the lady said x

MalMonroe

Oh sorry, I didn't know that you were self-employed.

If you are self-employed but unable to work then are you eligible to claim any benefits? I guess the money advice service has discussed that with you. If you have questions, though, can't you just go back to them and ask them about your car worries? They are there to help and you do need some.

If you fear violence from your husband and/or his mother, could ask the police to issue a restraining order?

sourcrates

Try and relax, the only problem I can foresee is that you may have prioritised one creditor over another with the car.

That been said, if it is queried, you have a reasonable explanation, due to your current circumstances, so I don`t think you have anything to worry about.

What stage of the DRO process are you at ?

Maybe fat belly can clarify the situation further for you, but from what you've said, I can`t see anything that would prevent a DRO from going ahead.

fatbelly

There are two questions on the DRO application that relate to things you have done in the past two years.

What concerns me most is that you are trying to pay mother-in-law (if I understand correctly) £125 per month. This won't be a legitimate expense and it calls into question whether your surplus income is genuinely below £75 per month.

It seems that the arrangement was that your husband would pay her a regular sum and it would be better if it stayed that way.

Also you are going through divorce - is there any chance that you will (a) be landed with a debt to anyone as part of the process or (b) get a lump sum from your ex?

I'm not sure now is the best time to push ahead with a DRO unless you are right up against the 30k limit.

Denise70

Hi , I'm self employed registered still and not working due to health , I'm on universal credit and pip.

Husband was meant to pay her but lost his job ! There is no conversation and I can't contact her as he lives with her.I'm basically have zero left over and have been cutting back on food to pay her and obviously the lump sum from car .Mother in law is  Rich and I'm poor , there is no property in the divorce , no money what so ever .
Tried for legal aid but can't find a solicitor local doing legal aid for this divorce and stuff , can't keep him away , trying to keep it all calm . my debt level is 24 k, accumated since 2015 .
You would think that I have had fun for that level of debt yet I  don't own much clothes , don't go out , all second hand furniture etc .
Its actually lots of small debts with a about 5 bigger ones , im ashamed but it was a case of feeding my family and surviving when I wasn't working over 5 years and my husband wouldn't support us .

Thank you for advice I can't wait for dro it's not started yet as im trying to exchange houses so he don't know where I am .
re explaining selling car for the dro I can't in case they contact the ex or his mum it will be more for him to Humiliate me with making me more of a failure.He did try to convince people I was completely senile .
Anyway re the marital life I don't expect people to understand the fear .
thank you all for your advice 

sourcrates

Denise70 said:

Thank you for advice I can't wait for dro it's not started yet as im trying to exchange houses so he don't know where I am .

Hopefully this is rented accommodation, as homeowners cannot access a Debt Relief Order.

Denise70

hi yes rented and going to a cheaper housing !!!!!! house , but my universal credit will then go down Thank you 

Denise70

Update : decided not to do the DRO, I will continue with a DMP and hope life improves in the future, it does seem due to the threat of violence from my ex and the concern with the car if I don't pay his mum that I put myself at risk so it's best I try to carry on as long as I can.Thank you all for your time, sorry it was so awkward 

fatbelly

Denise - that's fine.

I do think that is the best decision for now.

A DRO is formal insolvency involving an Intermediary. If you are not open about things you may get yourself and them into trouble.

Get your accommodation sorted then re-evaluate.