Daughter having real problems

hamletcigars

with ex when it comes to child access,not really moneysaving but then indirectly it is
anyone know of any advice/discussion sites where she could get info on her rights,best way to handle things etc

fsdss

before anyone can offer you advise or direct you to a suitable site on the internet, we need more info.

how old is child

what problems are they experiencing

how is the access set out and if it is legal

hamletcigars

access is legal ,3 children under 3,access is fine except the muppet cannot take care of the basic needs of the youngest

she has tried and tried to just get him to 'see to their needs' when he has them,to no avail
it's even written in the court papers that he needs to take proper care of them,nothing works


and all the solicitor says is 'the court will frown on access being stopped' ..........we'll write another letter,he doesn't care about letters
he has even been shown how to change them:rolleyes:


does she withdraw access until caffcas is involved ,is there any point in that ,he's just likely to do whats necessary till it's over then go back to normal

the daft thing is as I said access is not the problem ,it's doing what babies need that's the problem

fsdss

when you say that he is not taking care of the children's basic needs what do you mean? (this differs with different people). are the children at risk of harm?
there are a couple of options for you
1. Contact social services if you think that your children are at risk of harm with your ex
2. Go back to the court with your evidence and let them decide if another appraisal of his parenting skill is required

you need to keep a diary of your concerns of what needs of the children are not being met. - this will give you good grounds to stop access eventually. you need to be factual and honest with this and if other people have expressed concerns about his parenting - then you need to get this in writing if you can

hobo28

It all depends on what you mean by not taking care of their basic needs. There's a long way between not looking after them the way the other parent would and not meeting their needs.

Can you give examples? This would give us a better idea of what to suggest.

Withdrawing access without reasonable cause will get her into a lot of bother and the court may see your daughter as being in breach of court. Not saying don't do it. If the kids are in serious danger with her ex then of course do what you must.

But a lot of the time disputes arise because the ex isn't dancing to the tune of the resident parent.

cazziebo

My ex just wouldn't change my daughter's nappy. In the end I just lived with it. He only had the girls for a few hours on a rare Saturday afternoon and I was so keen then that he kept in touch with them. Yes she was unhappy and uncomfortable but not in any danger.

If it can be resolved at all without recourse to a lawyer or social services then try to do that.

What you can't do (unless there is danger involved) is withdraw access. Not only will it be viewed very dimly by authorities but also it's rarely a good idea to disrupt the relationship.

Having said that I always thought it unfair that the responsibility was on the parent with care to make sure the children are available for access, but no requirement on parent without care to turn up. It's criminal leaving two young children watching at the window for a dad not to turn up...

hamletcigars

Solicitor is stating again he needs to take proper care or it goes back to court and court will order caffcas report ,it's in his hands now