Hey everyone, newbie here!

Robflh

Hi Frags

It is nice to see another sufferer trying to help. However, truthseeker has not said they are against antidepressants but that they do not work for them. Antidepressants do not mask a problem either, the only thing that can do that is you.

What they can do is to help you relax a bit, while you look at what is causing your anxiety and try to tackle it. In this case, it is the debts.

Actually, the debts are a Stressor and it is how you handle a stressor that determines how anxious you are. The Condition Management course helped me to control my stressors and thus my anxiety.

My total debt is over £28,000, I have to juggle five credit cards, I am on incapacity benefit and I have virtually no moral support. My anxiety levels use to be extremely high but not these days.

I have my own home, which I can sell. This would allow me to pay off my debts and buy a smaller cheaper property. However, I do not want to sell my home but I have learnt to accept the fact that in order to remove the debts, it is something I might have to do in the future.

In truthseeker’s situation if he could not make the card payments and he is an additional cardholder, his parents would have to make the payments. The debt may be his but it is his parents credit card. They may well be disappointed about this but it would not be the end of the world.

If the banks, wanted the overdrafts now and truthseeker did not get the £1,000, the banks cannot get blood out of a stone and offering to pay it back £20 a month on each would provably keep them happy.

If not truthseeker could file for bankruptcy, which is not something to do lightly but truthseeker has nothing of value like a car or a house. That would mean getting the debt written off and it would take about five years or less to repair the damage to their credit rating but at 18 is that such a problem.

southernscouser

truthseeker wrote: »

i thought i'd get loads of 'you idiot' responses (deservedly).

You idiot.

Don't want to leave you disappointed.

truthseeker_4

southernscouser-- i was waiting for some smart a*se to say that :rotfl:

wow thanx for all the info guys...also i'm real pleased other anxiety sufferers have responded to this

i don't know how to multi-quote but--

Anti-depressants-- I've gone on two of these, both boosted my mood but at the same time gave me intense suicidal thoughts! Which got stronger by the week so i couldn't stay on them. I don't want to try anymore...I see your point robflh they can really help some people, but also can take you on a rollercoaster of side effects.

Overdraft-- that's a brilliant idea to use the £1000 to pay them off why didn't i think of that :rolleyes: . Someone has suggested to me though to just not tell the banks that i've quit uni yet?


Phone-- Can I quit my contract on my phone?! It's an 18 month one with O2 and it's a cashback deal, i can claim some money back later (theoretically ). I thought I was tied into the contract. I need to make roughly 2 hours of phonecalls to a landline number (01) every month, apart from that i mainly text, but i can cut back on texting. Is it still worth going pay as you go?

wow robflh that's pretty admirable. I'm sorry you don't have any moral support that must be really hard to deal with but it sounds like you know what you are doing with your debts . When i first found out i had social anxiety i visited forums and the communities are really great on there for support .

Thanx v much for the website frags looks really helpful! I know i could get free therapy but the one i'm doing now seems really suited to me and i have faith in it, i really wouldn't want to give it up.

I went out intending to apply for jobs today . But my anxiety got the better of me and i couldn't do it. So i just ended up wasting bus fare .

Once again thanks for all the advice...you have calmed me down quite a bit, it doesn't seem so bad now if i just have one credit card. Aslong as i can get a job that is . Apparently it takes a while to go on benefits for social anxiety, because of the proof...I've never gone on record for my anxiety, ever, and the therapy i'm doing is alternative and not by anyone 'qualified' in NHS terms. So i'm not sure i could go on benefits. and if i CAN manage to get a job this would probably pay my debts off quicker as it's more money right?

southernscouser

truthseeker wrote: »

southernscouser-- i was waiting for some smart a*se to say that :rotfl:

Thats me!

Dill

truthseeker wrote: »

I'm also suffering from this thing called social anxiety at the moment. This makes it hard to do stuff like get a job on the account of being terrified! It's ridiculous and pretty frustrating. This is basically why I quit uni, because of the anxiety, and indirectly why I have these debts.

I too first started to suffer with anxiety and panic attacks while I was at university. It’s debilitating, and it can also be quite isolating, as you fear that people who haven’t experienced it themselves may not be all that understanding. My doctor at the time prescribed beta blockers, which didn’t agree with me, so I tried to do a bit of research myself and by chance I discovered a book by Dr Claire Weekes, and I found her approach really helpful. A couple of her books are still available on amazon.

It does take time, and perseverance but you will get better. Well done for tackling it head-on! Wish you luck.

truthseeker_4

Dill wrote: »

I too first started to suffer with anxiety and panic attacks while I was at university. It’s debilitating, and it can also be quite isolating, as you fear that people who haven’t experienced it themselves may not be all that understanding. My doctor at the time prescribed beta blockers, which didn’t agree with me, so I tried to do a bit of research myself and by chance I discovered a book by Dr Claire Weekes, and I found her approach really helpful. A couple of her books are still available on amazon.

It does take time, and perseverance but you will get better. Well done for tackling it head-on! Wish you luck.

On the plus side, I have more motivation than most to cut down on social expenses since i have a helpful little voice yelling RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY all the time :rotfl:

Dill

truthseeker wrote: »

On the plus side, I have more motivation than most to cut down on social expenses since i have a helpful little voice yelling RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY all the time :rotfl:

*lol* that's true, - budget for social life / going out is virtually £0 !
ah, well.

Frags

truthseeker wrote: »

On the plus side, I have more motivation than most to cut down on social expenses since i have a helpful little voice yelling RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY all the time :rotfl:

Ha ha!!!! :rotfl: Thats very true. On the job front i would just take it slowly, if you can get out to look for a job dont deem yourself a failure. Perhaps try to look online or sign up with a recruitment company and let them do all the work.

RoxieW

Hi hon - I have had a similar experience to you. My social phobia hit me hard after school. I had post traumatic stress disorder from a bad experience and suddenly couldnt cope with life and other people. I basically taught myself my Alevels and just took the exams (scaping through), the got a uni place but just couldn't cope very well. I'd skip most of my lectures, would feign illness so not to have to speak in class or give presentations and generally became a bit of a mess. In my second year a got pregnant - an accident but rather then be upset I was relieved to have the valid excuse to drop out. When I look back now it seems mad but at the time what I was going through on a day to day basis was awful and even the prospect of being a young single mum with no family/job/support seemed preferable to uni where you're meant to be having the time of your life. I did feel like a massive failure though. At school I was 'the clever one'. I got the most/best gcse's in the 30 years my school had been open. But my anxiety took away my bright future (so it seemed) and I had to watch enviously while my schoolfriends graduated and went on to get good jobs while i had a baby a hardly left the house for a year.

However, things can get better. Its just a longer route.

Thankfully OH stuck around and is now hubby. We have 2 kids, a home and a happy life. I did a journalism course from home and landed my dream job in tv. I'm now trying to break into scriptwriting. However, I still struggle with this anxiety/panic attacks and crisis of confidence. I've had therapy which was helpful to a point but really for me there was no 'quick' cure. Just a gradual learning about myself and being able to deal with the anxiety better.

I'm sorry, I haven't looked at your SOA yet - will in a minute. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in your experience - I know how hard it can be.

If you can get rid of the debt that will take some pressure off and let you concentrate on you. I would urge you to see your gp though. Let them refer you for traditional therapy and give it a go before you part with money. As for anti-depressants, they've never helped me and from what you describe of your experience of them so far, I'd try therapy and just taking some time out first. Please get the forms for incapacity benefit and try to claim this. It will taken the pressure off you for the moment. I never realised that I could claim it when I was at my worst - I wasn't really thinking straight at all. But do see your gp, do call for an incapacity form and concentrate on building yourself back up from this confidence bashing.

love and luck
rox

Ralf_O

Hi,

I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks, I have done the anti depressants, signed off work and therapy. But the best thing that ever helped me to get over these was a book called self help for your nervous system by Dr Claire Weekes, you can get a used copy very cheaply of amazon and other such websites. I was suicidal when I was told about this book from a Headmaster who had suffered anxiety and panic attacks for 25 years!! I read the book in 1 day and it was like having an ephiphany (if that's the right word). I go back and re read it sometimes when I feel a little wobbly, it explains the symptoms causes etc of anxiety and panic attacks and how to over come them. It really is fantastic. I highly recommend it to anyone who suffers anxiety or panic attacks.

I hope this helps and well done you for facing up to your debt at a young age.

LOL

Ralf O