Resignation etiquette

TWIGLET1234

Having been employed in a Senior Management role for 15 years with the same employer, I now strongly feel that it is time to move on. I find no passion for the work any more and have lost lots of respect for my employer over recent years due to his behaviour towards me and the fact that he very much takes me for granted. I guess after 15 years, some people just assume that a person is never going to leave regardless how you treat them. I am planning handing in my one month's notice at the end of June. At this stage now, I simply need to get away to protect my mental health. I am very fortunate that I do not need to seek employment elsewhere right away so can take some time figuring out what I want to do. Currently working from home, I'm already stressing about my exit strategy! I obviously need to write a letter, but am concerned about how to hand it to my employer. Email would be preferred option, but probably cowards way out! My employer also works from home currently but does infrequently come to the office to meet with other colleagues. (He lives several miles from the office) Should I ask for a face to face meeting? He will find this unusual, but also what if it doesn't tie in with my dates that I want to hand in and subsequently end my notice. He is the kind of man who will take this very personally and is likely to take offence. It will not be a pleasant experience and nor will the 4 weeks notice period!! 

74jax

I was in a very similar position.  I wrote my resignation and emailed it to my Director on an evening when I'd well and truly had enough.  I didn't speak to him beforehand.  I also copied it to HR.
He took it VERY personally, I had a 3 month notice period which he tried his absolute hardest to get me to just say 'enough is enough and I want out now'.  In the end he just stopped communicating with me............  
Is there a reason you are handing it in at the end of June - some 6 weeks away and then you have a 4 week notice period.....  If you are stressing about it now, is it worth trying to see if you can hand it in now?  Is it to tie in with bonus etc which I could understand.
  

TWIGLET1234

74jax said:

I was in a very similar position.  I wrote my resignation and emailed it to my Director on an evening when I'd well and truly had enough.  I didn't speak to him beforehand.  I also copied it to HR.
He took it VERY personally, I had a 3 month notice period which he tried his absolute hardest to get me to just say 'enough is enough and I want out now'.  In the end he just stopped communicating with me............  

  

I'm so glad I only have a month's notice but I do have a feeling he will not want me to work it. He will still need to pay me for it though so this would be a real win for me! 

TBagpuss

I think you are overthinking it.
It's normal for resignation to be done by letter or e-mail rather than face to face but if you feel uncomfortable about it why not phone your manager, and e-mail the letter at the same time? 

TWIGLET1234

TBagpuss said:

I think you are overthinking it.
It's normal for resignation to be done by letter or e-mail rather than face to face but if you feel uncomfortable about it why not phone your manager, and e-mail the letter at the same time? 

Possibly but it's a very small company, I have had a very close relationship with this man up until recent years (father figure almost) and so I feel it may be more respectful to have a face to face. 15 years is a long time after all. But if the general consensus is that an email is acceptable, then obviously this saves me a lot of anxiety about a face to face!

74jax

TWIGLET1234 said:

74jax said:

I was in a very similar position.  I wrote my resignation and emailed it to my Director on an evening when I'd well and truly had enough.  I didn't speak to him beforehand.  I also copied it to HR.
He took it VERY personally, I had a 3 month notice period which he tried his absolute hardest to get me to just say 'enough is enough and I want out now'.  In the end he just stopped communicating with me............  

  

I'm so glad I only have a month's notice but I do have a feeling he will not want me to work it. He will still need to pay me for it though so this would be a real win for me! 

I know, it was a really very difficult long 3 months.  Until he just stopped acknowledging I even worked there, then it was straightforward ha ha ha 
It was so hard as I was his closest working relationship.  I'd been at the company for 15 years and with him personally for 8.  
You just have to focus on you, and believe in your reasons for doing this.

McKneff

If you are wanting to leave ASAP and finance isn't a problem, why wait till June to hand your notice in and not May end so you leave at June end. 
Seems strange to me

TWIGLET1234

McKneff said:

If you are wanting to leave ASAP and finance isn't a problem, why wait till June to hand your notice in and not May end so you leave at June end. 
Seems strange to me

Due a bonus payment!! Also, I feel it correct to finalise all my outstanding matters prior to handing in notice

krusty101

Would you feel comfortable ringing him and saying ‘I’m about to email you my resignation but thought I would give you the courtesy of a call first’? Given your long relationship I think an email out of the blue is not ideal. If he still chooses to be horrid for your last month it says more about him than it does you. 

TWIGLET1234

krusty101 said:

Would you feel comfortable ringing him and saying ‘I’m about to email you my resignation but thought I would give you the courtesy of a call first’? Given your long relationship I think an email out of the blue is not ideal. If he still chooses to be horrid for your last month it says more about him than it does you. 

Yes this seems to be a good idea. Thanks

TELLIT01

There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about leaving a job.  If they needed to get rid of you they would do it in a heartbeat.  There is no loyalty these days unfortunately.