A personal victory.

irisheyes153

This might not seem a lot to anyone reading this, but to me it's massive. 

I have PTSD. There, I said it. 

For years, I have thought that people walking by were looking down their noses at me, judging me. I went to the doc, he gave me medications that made the world foggy and me feel funny so I stopped them (yes, I know. Stupid.) I decided that I would do this my way. Me and my fella against the world, the way it has always been. 

On a good day, I would sit with heavy net curtains up, the curtains pulled slightly so I got light in and as far away from the windows as possible. I had to hide my phone as the sound of a phone ringing unanswered triggers my anxiety and would be alright with people walking by the house. 

On a bad day, the curtains remained shut, I sat in the corner and the slightest noise triggered my hypervigilance. I would hide in my room and avoid bringing my laundry down until I had no option so visitors couldn't judge me having laundry by the washer. 

There is a reason I'm telling you this, so you can understand the sheer magnitude of what this means to me. 

Today, my husband and I (I sound like the queen now) pulled up the old flooring and laid new laminate. My daughter and I rearranged the living room until we both got chronic giggles and announced "I love it!" and today, for the first time EVER, I sat in my living room with my curtains wide open daring anyone to look in!

I had my light on in the living room, curtains open and I sat smiling. I felt like people were looking in and thinking "Wow! That looks amazing!" 

Today I had a small, but to me huge, victory against my worst enemy. Myself.

Today was a good day!
:

AntoMac

Well done. That’s a very uplifting story and you’re rightly proud of yourself.
I am always impressed by people who manage to fight back from dark places. This is also a good reminder that we don’t always realise what others might be going through.
Hopefully today is a good day for you too 

irisheyes153

Today, the sun is shining and the curtains are open. 
I have a tub of polyfilla with my name on it all and I am determined that I  will have surfaces in the bathroom ready to paint. 

I also have designed a unit for my kitchen to hold my laundry out of veiw, I am going to beat this! 

I am determined!

arantohelp

Thanks for sharing, really enjoyed your story, very inspirational!

in_need_of_direction

Amazingly well done by both you and your family. Here’s to many more happy days

Rey123

You have overcome an extraordinary challenge and that makes you extraordinary as well. Thanks for sharing.

phillw

Excellent news. I hope you can stay grounded and try not to burnout.

Anyanka1

That really is an amazing tale, thank you so much for having the courage to make it happen and to share it.  Well done, you!  All the best.  The only way is up, right?

SadieO

Congratulations on your victory and thank you for sharing! I hope you are still having good days, and that they massively outweigh any less-than-good ones!

squirrelchops2

What a fabulous achievement, well done you.

I too had PTSD but didn't realise for 2 years whilst the rest of my life crashed around me. Eventually I was recommended to have EMDR therapy - eye movement desentisation reprogramming. It was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. It is NICE approved therapy for PTSD and in only 5 sessions (it works a zillion times quicker than CBT) my life was improved beyond recognition. I know this is a money saving site but NHS waiting lists would be long so if you did have the money I would advocate going private for it once restrictions mean we can do face to face therapy.