Probate

nana6

 My husband of 25 years died in January.  His will left his son his half of our house. I have life interest in his half of our home until my death. It will then be sold - son gets his half my children get my half.  I have life interest in his half of our home until my death.  Same terms as my Will.  
His son has always been controlling and I’ve tolerated it for his dads sake.  My solicitor is dealing with probate which is fine except son taking weeks to sign documents.   Doesn’t seem to realise probate is in his interest seems more important for him to do things in his own way. And possibly to wind me up!  It would take too long to detail his past behaviour however his delaying signing is making me nervous for my future.  I thought after my husbands death I would not have to have anything more to do with him.
 My question is as joint trustee of his father’s share of our house how much authority does he actually have?    Husbands Will says I should keep the house in good repair so can son demand repairs have to be done at my expense e.g. repairing a roof or something expensive?

elsien

If the roof needs repairing, then probably  yes. If it doesn’t, then no, 

How the will is worded would be relevant, 

Marcon

nana6 said:

 My husband of 25 years died in January.  His will left his son his half of our house. I have life interest in his half of our home until my death. It will then be sold - son gets his half my children get my half.  I have life interest in his half of our home until my death.  Same terms as my Will.  
His son has always been controlling and I’ve tolerated it for his dads sake.  My solicitor is dealing with probate which is fine except son taking weeks to sign documents.   Doesn’t seem to realise probate is in his interest seems more important for him to do things in his own way. And possibly to wind me up!  It would take too long to detail his past behaviour however his delaying signing is making me nervous for my future.  I thought after my husbands death I would not have to have anything more to do with him.
 My question is as joint trustee of his father’s share of our house how much authority does he actually have?    Husbands Will says I should keep the house in good repair so can son demand repairs have to be done at my expense e.g. repairing a roof or something expensive?

If your husband of 25 years died 3 months ago, you are still very much in the grieving stage and will be for some time, so pretty much anything is likely to have the power to wind you up - especially a stepson with whom you obviously have no good relationship.

But your stepson has lost his father of rather more than 25 years - and he too is grieving. To suggest he is trying to wind you up may not take into account the possibility that he finds it extremely difficult to deal with matters relating to his father's death and simply avoids signing documents or doing anything which forces him to confront a truth he finds hard to bear, whatever you may think of him and his past behaviour.

Accept that probate will take as long as it takes; it really doesn't matter much, so try not to expend what little emotional reserves you have on something unimportant.

The will indicates that you should keep the house in good repair, so unless there is any wording to the contrary, that means you pay for it.  What it doesn't mean is that the son can dictate what gets repaired and when.

If you find him that hard to deal with, set the ground rules now: communications on matters relating to the house to be done via your solicitor. Could be well worth fees if it saves you future anguish. 

nana6

Thank you for responding.
I thought about explaining a bit more about the son but it’s too personal and actually not really relevant though I raised it.
I was my  husband’s carer for seven years and maintained house which I would continue to do.  It’s my home.  
 I am just trying to get my head round the implications of being joint trustees.  

Keep_pedalling

nana6 said:

Thank you for responding.
I thought about explaining a bit more about the son but it’s too personal and actually not really relevant though I raised it.
I was my  husband’s carer for seven years and maintained house which I would continue to do.  It’s my home.  
 I am just trying to get my head round the implications of being joint trustees.  

While you are happy to remain in your home it is unlikely that there will be anything for the trustees to do and therefore you should have no need to have to deal with him. If at some point in the future you want or need to move he will need to be involved, in selling your existing home and in the purchase of a replacement.

You could always stand down as a trustee and appoint your children instead. 

nana6

 Solicitor who drew up our wills added clause  allowing me to sell and move without son’s involvement other than keeping him informed through our solicitors.
I’m getting texts from him claiming  my solicitor is giving him the wrong information and that we need to meet despite my solicitor saying all communication was to go through her.

I like the idea of standing down as a trustee he wouldn’t attempt to bully my children.
Thank you 

Marcon

nana6 said:

 
I’m getting texts from him claiming  my solicitor is giving him the wrong information and that we need to meet despite my solicitor saying all communication was to go through her.

Respond to one text with a polite but firm message reminding him that all communication need to be via your solicitor as you do not feel up to dealing with such matters [or words to that effect].

If he texts you again, simply use the stuck record technique: 'please see my previous text on this matter'. Do that a couple of times and then simply ignore the texts.

I wouldn't block his number in case there really is a time when you need to be able to contact each other - and he could always text you from a different phone, so it would be both pointless and potentially inflammatory.

nana6 said:

I thought about explaining a bit more about the son but it’s too personal and actually not really relevant though I raised it.
 

You're right; the history may be impossible to forget, but it isn't relevant to the future unless you allow it to be.