Purple Prose

thriftytracey

Some of these EA descriptions put me off viewing

"The bathroom is fitted with a white suite that glistens in the floods of natural light that beam through the skylight window."  

Detracting from the fact there is no window?

AdrianC

A skylight isn't a window?

Flugelhorn

Just a change from the normal EA drivel. There is an agent in the Lake District that does it all the time

Ditzy_Mitzy

That's worthy of Mills and Boon: 

The bathroom was fitted with a white suite that glistened in the floods of natural light that beamed through the skylight window.  David stood in there before the large illuminated mirror.  His bare torso, chiselled as a Greek statue, sparkled with freshly splashed cologne.  The natural light played over his body and the crisp white towel tied round his waist.  What a man, Shanice thought as she watched him through the open door.  The doorbell chimed.  Shanice looked at her mobile 'phone, which was connected to a camera over the front door, and saw an image of a man on the screen.  
'Here, Dave!', said Shanice 'that bloke from the estate agent has turned up'
'Why's he come?  We've bought this house now, we don't need him no more.  If he says he wants to look at them bleeding light beams again I'll throttle him'.  
'Leave it Dave', she replied 'he's only like that 'cause he's a frustrated novelist.  He self published one of them self published novels but no-one bought it.  It's sad really.'  
'Nobody ever buys them things', replied David

davidmcn

AdrianC said:

A skylight isn't a window?

Indeed - it's better than the many bathrooms which don't have any window, surely? 

thriftytracey

Ditzy_Mitzy said:

That's worthy of Mills and Boon: 

The bathroom was fitted with a white suite that glistened in the floods of natural light that beamed through the skylight window.  David stood in there before the large illuminated mirror.  His bare torso, chiselled as a Greek statue, sparkled with freshly splashed cologne.  The natural light played over his body and the crisp white towel tied round his waist.  What a man, Shanice thought as she watched him through the open door.  The doorbell chimed.  Shanice looked at her mobile 'phone, which was connected to a camera over the front door, and saw an image of a man on the screen.  
'Here, Dave!', said Shanice 'that bloke from the estate agent has turned up'
'Why's he come?  We've bought this house now, we don't need him no more.  If he says he wants to look at them bleeding light beams again I'll throttle him'.  
'Leave it Dave', she replied 'he's only like that 'cause he's a frustrated novelist.  He self published one of them self published novels but no-one bought it.  It's sad really.'  
'Nobody ever buys them things', replied David

Love it!  Yes, maybe some EA are frustrated writers.

thriftytracey

AdrianC said:

A skylight isn't a window?

Yes I guess so but quite difficult to open or look out.  Not keen on barn conversions for this reason where the upper floor tend to have skylights.

AdrianC

thriftytracey said:

AdrianC said:

A skylight isn't a window?

Yes I guess so but quite difficult to open or look out.  Not keen on barn conversions for this reason where the upper floor tend to have skylights.

We have five veluxes, and both our bathrooms have them (and no "normal" windows). They aren't hard to open at all. If they're out of reach, then you can buy a handle cheaply.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/VELUX-Telescopic-Operate-Skylight-Windows/dp/B005DQJR50

Murphybear

Ditzy_Mitzy said:

That's worthy of Mills and Boon: 

The bathroom was fitted with a white suite that glistened in the floods of natural light that beamed through

  

 the skylight window.  David stood in there before the large illuminated mirror.  His bare torso, chiselled as a Greek statue, sparkled with freshly splashed cologne.  The natural light played over his body and the crisp white towel tied round his waist.  What a man, Shanice thought as she watched him through the open door.  The doorbell chimed.  Shanice looked at her mobile 'phone, which was connected to a camera over the front door, and saw an image of a man on the screen.  
'Here, Dave!', said Shanice 'that bloke from the estate agent has turned up'
'Why's he come?  We've bought this house now, we don't need him no more.  If he says he wants to look at them bleeding light beams again I'll throttle him'.  
'Leave it Dave', she replied 'he's only like that 'cause he's a frustrated novelist.  He self published one of them self published novels but no-one bought it.  It's sad really.'  
'Nobody ever buys them things', replied David

We look forward to the next chapter 

thriftytracey

"the sounds of birdsong can be heard all around."  Property in a place with a twee name "Fairy Cross"

thriftytracey

PLUS, wait for it ....

"Fairy Cross also has two unique structures which stand proud on each side of the Atlantic Highway. They are, perhaps, the most ornate bus stops in the whole UK?"