What can I expect for a fair financial settlement

Gycraig

HampshireH said:

Gycraig said:

So two of you have 867k all together in assets yet you want 495k in cash, 40k of his pension and 1100 a month. 

So he leaves with 292 you leave with 574k (including your pension) . With 1100 quid a month child maintenance ?. I don’t understand how YOUR housing need with your NEW partner is relevant to the divorce with your ex partner ? Is your ex partner expected to buy a big enough house for your new partner as well ?. 

Likewise she shouldn't have to forgo whatever she may be entitled to to fund his new partner and family. They are in the same new family situation.

I've deleted my previous reply as I completely misread the OP and subsequent reply re finances.

“What she may be entitled to” she’s asked to take literally twice as much out of the marriage as him. 

The size of his new family and her new family isn’t relevant to how the money from the previous marriage is split. It’s not his fault that her new partner can’t get a 300k mortgage. 

What is she “forgoing” he has a 5 bedroom house but he also has a 300k mortgage on. It.

pinkshoes

gembosuk said:

Hi, 
Our divorce has been finalised and we are now in the process of sorting out the financial settlement. We have completed E forms and submitted them to our solicitors.
my Ex husband has made me a financial proposal and I just want to run it past you all to see if this sounds fair as I don’t feel it does.
We have 3 children (aged 11, 10 & 8) we were married for 15 years. I was a nurse but gave this up to care for the children whilst he built up a successful company which I was a shareholder and received large dividend payments from.

We lived comfortably with luxury cars and a 6 bedroom house. 

When we split in 2019 he moved out and brought a £300k flat. He then wanted to move back into the house so me, the children and my new partner & 2 children all moved into rented accommodation. He moved back into the house with his new partner and her 2 children. 

He removed me from the mortgage and took my shares of the company (obviously agreed by me at the time.
He has now sold the family home and brought a new 5 bed house for £500k (took a £400k mortgage on it) and sold the flat for £300k.
anyway to sum things up..,
he has assets of £690k, pension of £137k.
I have assets of £8k and the need to buy a 5 bedroom house (the rental we are in is up for sale for £535k and would be ideal to buy it. My pension is £40k.
He currently pays me £1900 a month child Maintenence (a verbal agreement we made when we split).
currently I receive benefits as my new partner as a low income.
His proposal is 33% of his pension fund (to even out my own pension).
capital payment of £310k and monthly child Maintenence of £1100 (in line with the Maintenence calculation from his yearly dividends.

I’ve enquired about a mortgage for me and my new partner with a maximum lending of around £84k.
He hasn’t brought the business into his assets or had it valued. 

I have a solicitor but waiting for her reply. Just wondered what you may deem as a fair settlement? 

Thanks

Your NEED to buy a 5 bedroom house is irrelevant. You and your ex have 3 children so NEED a 3 bedroom house. The fact your new partner has children is irrelevant, and your new partner should be funding the additional bedrooms, not your ex. Ditto for your EX - he also only NEEDS 3 bedrooms. 

The settlement offered sounds really fair. People with nursing qualifications are also very much in demand at the moment, so could you not update your skills and go back into nursing? This would give you a bigger salary to fund a bigger house. 

justworriedabit

HampshireH said:

Gycraig said:

So two of you have 867k all together in assets yet you want 495k in cash, 40k of his pension and 1100 a month. 

So he leaves with 292 you leave with 574k (including your pension) . With 1100 quid a month child maintenance ?. I don’t understand how YOUR housing need with your NEW partner is relevant to the divorce with your ex partner ? Is your ex partner expected to buy a big enough house for your new partner as well ?. 

Likewise she shouldn't have to forgo whatever she may be entitled to to fund his new partner and family. They are in the same new family situation.

I've deleted my previous reply as I completely misread the OP and subsequent reply re finances.

How much will it all cost ie solictors fees etc and how long will it take? Is it worth the trouble is the question I'd be asking.

sassyblue

I agree with pink shoes about the 5 bedroom comment. Children can share, a judge is likely to slap both parents down if they said they 'needed' 5 bedroomed houses who each had three children living with them. Kids can share rooms during access visits. You had a great standard of living before but your husband is the higher wage earner and you may not have such a good standard of living going forward. That’s life.

mason's_mum

pinkshoes said:

Your NEED to buy a 5 bedroom house is irrelevant. You and your ex have 3 children so NEED a 3 bedroom house. The fact your new partner has children is irrelevant, and your new partner should be funding the additional bedrooms, not your ex. Ditto for your EX - he also only NEEDS 3 bedrooms. 

The settlement offered sounds really fair. People with nursing qualifications are also very much in demand at the moment, so could you not update your skills and go back into nursing? This would give you a bigger salary to fund a bigger house. 

Agree with the first part of this in that your ex partner should not be responsible for funding bedrooms (or accommodation in any form) for your new partner or his children, that's new partner and HIS ex partner's job!
I do however, still think that it doesn't sound like a fair settlement as nobody seems to be taking the "value" of the business as part of the marital assets.
Presumably Ex was only able to build the business up to be as successful as it is by having the support of his wife, looking after the children, and sacrificing her career - same as someone in a high flying "normal" career working their way up into a senior, well paying role in a company?
If I'm asking if something I'm offering is fair, then I tend to flip it, and ask, ok so if I were on the receiving end of this offer, would I still think it was fair?
Good luck OP, I agree in hindsight it was not sensible to sign over everything to your ex but I can understand your headspace at the time probably wasn't great, and we all do things when under pressure that we wouldn't do normally. I hope you get what you and your children deserve.

burlingtonfl6

mason's_mum said:

pinkshoes said:

Your NEED to buy a 5 bedroom house is irrelevant. You and your ex have 3 children so NEED a 3 bedroom house. The fact your new partner has children is irrelevant, and your new partner should be funding the additional bedrooms, not your ex. Ditto for your EX - he also only NEEDS 3 bedrooms. 

The settlement offered sounds really fair. People with nursing qualifications are also very much in demand at the moment, so could you not update your skills and go back into nursing? This would give you a bigger salary to fund a bigger house. 

Agree with the first part of this in that your ex partner should not be responsible for funding bedrooms (or accommodation in any form) for your new partner or his children, that's new partner and HIS ex partner's job!
I do however, still think that it doesn't sound like a fair settlement as nobody seems to be taking the "value" of the business as part of the marital assets.
Presumably Ex was only able to build the business up to be as successful as it is by having the support of his wife, looking after the children, and sacrificing her career - same as someone in a high flying "normal" career working their way up into a senior, well paying role in a company?
If I'm asking if something I'm offering is fair, then I tend to flip it, and ask, ok so if I were on the receiving end of this offer, would I still think it was fair?
Good luck OP, I agree in hindsight it was not sensible to sign over everything to your ex but I can understand your headspace at the time probably wasn't great, and we all do things when under pressure that we wouldn't do normally. I hope you get what you and your children deserve.

The proposal of £310k ( which I'm not saying is fair or not ) gives her the equivalent savings of £20,600 per year.
I very much doubt that a nurse would be able to save that every year so she has had the mortgage and all bills paid for by her husband for 15 years and also the £21k a year put aside for when the marriage ended. Plus she received regular large dividends!
Therefore the '' gave up a career '' argument doesn't stack up financially with the OP's job as a nurse. 
She would be worse off financially.

mason's_mum

burlingtonfl6 said:

The proposal of £310k ( which I'm not saying is fair or not ) gives her the equivalent savings of £20,600 per year.
I very much doubt that a nurse would be able to save that every year so she has had the mortgage and all bills paid for by her husband for 15 years and also the £21k a year put aside for when the marriage ended. Plus she received regular large dividends!
Therefore the '' gave up a career '' argument doesn't stack up financially with the OP's job as a nurse. 
She would be worse off financially.

If she'd put her nurses salary towards paying for a mortgage on a house, she could have very much "earned" that much in equity over the past 15 years - which is essentially what you are calculating here.
But that's the whole point of being in a partnership - the whole should be greater than the sum of the parts.
They could have (in this case) potentially BOTH have been worse off if OP had not given up her job and continued to work as a nurse, and they (as a couple) had to pay for childcare for 3 children? the business might have got belly up and they both ended up with nothing?
So why should she have to settle for less than half the marital assets? not even including the potentially largest one - the company?
I know you think all women are money grabbing gold diggers, but in this case they seem like they entered into the relationship roughly even, have been married 15 years, built what they had together over that time, and I fully believe she should be entitled to 50%.

burlingtonfl6

mason's_mum said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

The proposal of £310k ( which I'm not saying is fair or not ) gives her the equivalent savings of £20,600 per year.
I very much doubt that a nurse would be able to save that every year so she has had the mortgage and all bills paid for by her husband for 15 years and also the £21k a year put aside for when the marriage ended. Plus she received regular large dividends!
Therefore the '' gave up a career '' argument doesn't stack up financially with the OP's job as a nurse. 
She would be worse off financially.

If she'd put her nurses salary towards paying for a mortgage on a house, she could have very much "earned" that much in equity over the past 15 years - which is essentially what you are calculating here.
But that's the whole point of being in a partnership - the whole should be greater than the sum of the parts.
They could have (in this case) potentially BOTH have been worse off if OP had not given up her job and continued to work as a nurse, and they (as a couple) had to pay for childcare for 3 children? the business might have got belly up and they both ended up with nothing?
So why should she have to settle for less than half the marital assets? not even including the potentially largest one - the company?
I know you think all women are money grabbing gold diggers, but in this case they seem like they entered into the relationship roughly even, have been married 15 years, built what they had together over that time, and I fully believe she should be entitled to 50%.

I never said she was entitled to half. I said the "she gave up a career" argument doesn't stack up financially. You agree that they would be both worse of financially apart over the years so thank you for agreeing with me. And I highly doubt anyone on a nurse's salary could build up 320 grand equity over 15 years starting from scratch 

Gycraig

mason's_mum said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

The proposal of £310k ( which I'm not saying is fair or not ) gives her the equivalent savings of £20,600 per year.
I very much doubt that a nurse would be able to save that every year so she has had the mortgage and all bills paid for by her husband for 15 years and also the £21k a year put aside for when the marriage ended. Plus she received regular large dividends!
Therefore the '' gave up a career '' argument doesn't stack up financially with the OP's job as a nurse. 
She would be worse off financially.

If she'd put her nurses salary towards paying for a mortgage on a house, she could have very much "earned" that much in equity over the past 15 years - which is essentially what you are calculating here.
But that's the whole point of being in a partnership - the whole should be greater than the sum of the parts.
They could have (in this case) potentially BOTH have been worse off if OP had not given up her job and continued to work as a nurse, and they (as a couple) had to pay for childcare for 3 children? the business might have got belly up and they both ended up with nothing?
So why should she have to settle for less than half the marital assets? not even including the potentially largest one - the company?
I know you think all women are money grabbing gold diggers, but in this case they seem like they entered into the relationship roughly even, have been married 15 years, built what they had together over that time, and I fully believe she should be entitled to 50%.

She is asking for way more than half with a child maintenance of 1100 quid a month. 

She was also a share holder and took large dividends. 

mason's_mum

burlingtonfl6 said:

I never said she was entitled to half. I said the "she gave up a career" argument doesn't stack up financially. You agree that they would be both worse of financially apart over the years so thank you for agreeing with me. And I highly doubt anyone on a nurse's salary could build up 320 grand equity over 15 years starting from scratch 

You do make me chuckle, I like how you pick the one thing I do agree with you about and say "thank you for agreeing with me" while ignoring the rest!
Also my parents sold their house when they divorced, maybe 18 years ago for £250k, it's recently come back on the market (with no significant additions/improvements) at £625k - an increase in well over £320k just by existing, so sorry, but I still think you're wrong.

Gycraig said:

She is asking for way more than half with a child maintenance of 1100 quid a month. 

She was also a share holder and took large dividends. 

you're confusing the splitting of assets with child maintenance - this is calculated from current and ongoing income. If the ExH was to quit his job, or go and work on minimum wage, this "income" disappears overnight so shouldn't be included in any clean break calculations.