WHY are you old style?......

Queenie

doddsy wrote:

Thank you all for replying, I'm afraid yesterday was a day and I am sooooo tired! However, have pulled meself t'gehter and will be back on track. I suppose the mindset was 'I am so careful and now through no fault of my own I am going to be £100's pounds worse off every month' whereas I should be thinking 'Because I am careful we CAN afford to get my daughter to a place where she is not suicidal!'

(((doddsy)))

I can empathise with *those* days! Whenever we do something out of choice and free will, it can be exciting as well as challenging; yet when we are doing those self same things through necessity/circumstance, it can feel like such an uphill, weary, struggle! Finding any positive motivation can, in itself, prove such a challenge. I'm pleased that you have found a positive to your situation and what greater reward than the health, safety and sanity of your dd.

It may not help today, or this minute or even this month - but, one thing that costs nothing, but we all need as much as the air that we breathe is to have goals to aim for. . Large and small! A bit of daydreaming on your *wants* can broaden your outlook and bring forward ideas and goals to aim for. For example, today your dd is in education and your circumstances to a degree are governed by her need to be in an environment where she can thrive. But, consider where do you want to be when she is no longer in education? Where would be your ideal place to live? Where will you be in 5yrs time? 10yrs time? 15yrs time?
Are there any retraining options available that could perhaps open up more satisfying employment for you and OH? Employment-wise, where do you want to be in 5/10/15yrs time? What are your individual dreams/goals/wishlists and what are they as a couple; as a family?
What steps would be involved in achieving those dreams/goals and turning them into your reality?

When daydreaming and goal setting, try the S.M.A.R.T. method.

We all need something positive to work towards, look forward to and focus on to help get us through *those* kind of days. And when we are at our most weary and tired, it's the hardest time of all! Even just knowing that you are simply too tired and weary to feel positive could indicate that you need to set yourself a personal target of fitting in some regular 'me' time just to chill and refresh yourself. Sounds to me like you've had a lot on your plate to deal with and a bit of pampering wouldn't go a miss! For those times, I keep a "Pamper Basket" - nothing fancy; but for me that is where I will put sample satchets of bath/beauty products; a favourite tape/CD; scented candles, books ... I even have a miniature bottle of wine in mine, but it's been there a year, untouched. An indulgent bath, with some candles and music can really give me just the time I need when I hit that "stop the world I want to get off" feeling.

Finally, one of the wonderful things about this particular forum is, we are all doing it the OS way, regardless of the why's/wherefore's - in that alone we are all united and on the same wavelength.

Wishing you all the very best in finding the ways which will work for you to make each day that bit better. ((hugs))

Rebob

Some and some really. We don't have a lot of money as dh is the only one working as I am a sahm ans could not work for health reasons. I like to get us the best within our means with regard to a comfortable home life and I try to avoid addatives etc where possible as ds has a sensitivity to them.

Money takes too much earning to just give it away so I begrudge paying twice the price for the same thing as can be bought or made.

Contains_Mild_Peril

JailhouseBabe wrote:

A quick add on to my post above - on the tesco mis-price discussion board, some people have expressed the view that actively seeking R&R (looking for items that are overpriced knowing that the policy is to offer a full refund and you retain the items bought) is tantamount to fraud.

I'd be really interested to know what the opinion is of others OS'ers.

I would argue that it is ethical to keep them on their toes and encourage them to be more careful about overpricing. Besides, I have no ethical qualms about trying to screw Tesco, because Tesco is evil.
As for OS, it's more a necessity in my house, but I'm a rubbish cook so I do buy a lot of processed foods, but I shop around for the best deals, and often visit the supermarket in the evening for bargains in the reduced-to-clear section. During a recent financial crisis when we had to get a bit creative in the kitchen, using pretty much only what was already there, I was actually surprised at how well-stocked my cupboard was!
I have only one child so clothes are not passed to siblings, but most are secondhand and mended when required, and in these days of unisex clothes, I sometimes actually wear my son's hand-me-downs (or should that be hand-me-ups) myself! This practice began when he was 9, and gave me a pair of size 5 trainers he'd outgrown!

Roz_V

Contains_Mild_Peril wrote:

I have only one child so clothes are not passed to siblings, but most are secondhand and mended when required, and in these days of unisex clothes, I sometimes actually wear my son's hand-me-downs (or should that be hand-me-ups) myself! This practice began when he was 9, and gave me a pair of size 5 trainers he'd outgrown!

I get hand-me-ups from my 12-year old sister... I'm 19! :rolleyes:

(she is a tall 12yo though as I'm not exactly short at 5"7!!)

lilmisskitkat

Just found this thread whilst reading though the messages to catch up, hope i'm not too late to reply!

My first reason for O/S was economy, i was moving into my own house after living with my parents whilst DD was little and for the first time i knew i would have to manage money myself. Unlike when i lived at home and paid my board every week which included food, toiletries, nappies etc for DD, phone, internet etc. I'm scared of debt, scared of not being able to pay back what i owe and didn't want to start off in my own house owing money here, there and everywhere and living beyond my means

But after living on my own for nearly 2 yrs now i still practice the O/S way (although i admit to having a few hiccups along the way lol) because i enjoy it. I like to cook and it makes me feel good that DD is having proper homecooked meals (5 days out of 7 anyway). Also that even when it looks like there is nothing in the cupboards i can still make a meal rather than going to Asda and buying yet more food.

Even though i am now £38 a week better off (paid back furniture loan from DSS and paid off catalogue that i bought my towels and pans etc from) than when i moved in to my house, i still like to pretend i haven't got the extra cash so it can be saved for holidays/days out etc or hopefully one day a car of my own.

My mates think i'm weird, apparantly at my age (21) life is for living, money is for spending and if you get in too much debt you can always go bankrupt! Lol, they have no idea about the real world bless them. I also find that by having to budget carefully i also have more respect for money and when i do get a bargain or make a saving on something i feel really good about it. And when i've saved enough to go out and buy something for myself or DD (clothes/a dvd etc) i really do appreciate it because i've cut corners in other areas in order to be able to save that money.

We've just had our first holiday together, all paid for in cash with a decent amount of spending money and we had a great time, and the only reason i was able to do that was by being O/S and budgetting carefully

So, economy, feel-good factor, healthy eating and living, individuality and really because i think it makes me a better person, i definitely appreciate things more and am grateful for what i have and what i have acheived.

Kate xxx

moggins

I must have missed this thread and all it's revivals, thanks for bringing it back.

OS started by neccessity for me when I was 19, first married and having to cope with a mortgage on one property and rent on another, then as we got better off I lapsed. Got divorced and started all over again, reviving and increasing my OS skills.

Now it's a want as I could have more money if I went back to work, especially now DD is at school but instead I choose to stay at home and make sure it all runs smoothly. I've had the panic stricken, can't find anything in 5 minutes mornings, the what do I do for childcare as she's sick days. I don't want that anymore and if it takes a bit more moneyspinning then that's what I'll do instead.

Trouble is why do all the parents of my sons friends take it for granted I will just be an unpaid babysitter because I am at home?

thriftmonster

moggins wrote:

Now it's a want as I could have more money if I went back to work, especially now DD is at school but instead I choose to stay at home and make sure it all runs smoothly. I've had the panic stricken, can't find anything in 5 minutes mornings, the what do I do for childcare as she's sick days. I don't want that anymore and if it takes a bit more moneyspinning then that's what I'll do instead.

This is my situation as well - now both children are at school, everyone assumes I'm pining to get back to work - but it takes me at home full time to keep the whole caboodle on course.

OSing started as a necessity when we bought our currnet house - low price but needing tons of work - all our money went on building supplies - plus DH wanted to pay off the mortgage before he was 40 - and we'll do it next year when he's 38. Then we will continue OSing to save up to put the boys through uni and to travel - we're having our first family holiday this year in France and ds1 is 10 - always just visited my parents.

I think it also feels very satisfying not to follow all the "keeping up with the Jones" and to know that I can do all these practical things

Economy - 10
Job satisfaction (and proud to be a housewife) - 10:T

willow_girl

I've enjoyed reading this thread and everyones take on OS. I think for me it's a bit of both, need and want. As with most people I need to because of saving money and not going back to being in debt again (hopefully!). But want I think for me, is the bigger part. I like to be able to make a meal from scratch and clean not using all the chemical stuff we have available today! Maybe it's a case of realisation as I get older that the world is becoming over commercialised and at what cost? More people in debt and less able to cope/manage when things go bottoms up! Those items that people pay a high price for aren't exclusive nowadays as it's available everywhere you look!
Are we really individuals anymore?

I would love to be able to do the things my Grandmother used to do - HM bread (by hand), making clothes etc. These are personal goals for me that I hope to achieve someday soon. I just wish I paid more attention back then! :rolleyes:

taplady

Have only just noticed this thread and have really enjoyed reading the replies.
For us it started as a way of saving money as we were in serious debt but I soon discovered how enjoyable and satisfying it is:D i have discovered that I can actually cook!:o after years of living on convenience foods and that it tastes so much better as well as being much healthier. My OH has had serious heart problems and this has made us change our lifestyle and try and be much healthier.
I also love the idea of reducing, recycling and reusing and have since I found this site grown my own veggies and made compost!
We are living on much less now and repaying our debts and when they are repaid will still live this way as its such a great way to live!:j My one regret is that we didn't do it years ago!

shetitasatic

I think being OS must be in my genes - my mum and nan were both country women who could make something out of nothing! I was first married at 18, with 2 chidren by the time I was 20 and we had very little money as my then OH was doing a 5 yr apprenticeship. In the 70's money was very tight for most people - the 3 day week, standpipes in 1976, devaluation etc. We even bought an old car for £50 and handpainted it!:rotfl: By being very careful (I'm not Shetitasatic for nothing) we managed to save and bought our own house to do up and moved on from there.
After eventual divorce I went to Uni, got a good job and remarried. Things were looking up and we had a combined income of £50,000 plus. However, even with 3 foreign holidays a year etc, we weren't really happy with life. My job was so stressful my soaring blood pressure was putting everything at risk.
So when i was offered early retirement/redundancy we jumped at it! We used the lump sum to pay off the mortgage, bought a house nearer the g/children.and haven't looked back. I love being at home and have gone back to all the things I loved doing - cooking ,gardening,sewing, decorating!
I love being OS and combining saving money with doing things in traditional ways, like my Mum and Nan taught me - if only they were here to share it with. However I have all my family and even my grand daughters love showing me their bargains! There's definitely more to life than accquiring 'things' and so much more satisfaction in doing/ making something yourself