Easy ways to save costs when planning a wedding

Savvy_Sue

TBagpuss said:

Think about what things she feels are important, in terms of any reception - whether having (for instance) napkins and chair covers matching her colour scheme is important or not. 

Take anything I say with this warning: in any conversation about whose wedding cost the least, I've always won. Tip: it won't matter what colour the chair covers are, or whether you have them at all, by the time everyone sits down ... 

But as you say, think about what matters to this friend, and pray she doesn't have an ideal wedding in her head that has to be 'right' to the last detail. 

Emmia

Can i suggest a photo shoot with the photographer before the big day - I had one, with someone who is apparently one of the best photographers in the country and my misgivings about them (overridden by my husband) manifested itself on the day, and in the design of the album afterwards.

The album preview was so bad (my face in the fold of the pages numerous times) I didn't ask for it to be printed (it was still paid for) but did my own with their digital shots, and guest photos.

TBagpuss

Savvy_Sue said:

TBagpuss said:

Think about what things she feels are important, in terms of any reception - whether having (for instance) napkins and chair covers matching her colour scheme is important or not. 

Take anything I say with this warning: in any conversation about whose wedding cost the least, I've always won. Tip: it won't matter what colour the chair covers are, or whether you have them at all, by the time everyone sits down ... 

But as you say, think about what matters to this friend, and pray she doesn't have an ideal wedding in her head that has to be 'right' to the last detail. 

I know a few people who might give you a run for your money in that competition  

But yes, what colour the chair covers are, or if there are chair covers, doesn't matter unless it matters  (My sister and her fiancé were looking at wedding venues and one venue's manager asked them what their vision for seating was. My (now) BiL said "For there to be enough for everyone to sit down at the same time". Apparently that's the wrong answer! (they ended up having the reception in the village hall next to the church, where the arrangements for the chairs was (i) that we didn't mix blue and orange chairs at the same table and (ii) that the number of chairs at each table match the number of guests for that table)

An aunt of mine told the vicar of the church she and my uncle were getting married at that they weren't having any flower - then got a call from him a week before the wedding to say he knew she didn't want flowers, but they'd got another wedding booked in in the morning immediately before hers, and they didn't think the flowers would be removed, was that an issue? He was very received to be told that her lack of flowers was a budget thing, not an objection to flowers on principal

onomatopoeia99

Don't hold it in the UK, where "wedding" imposes a 100%+ surcharge on everything.

My brother had a fabulous wedding in Italy for a fraction of what the same do would have cost in the UK.  Obviously more expensive for guests as they needed to pay for flights as well, but many (like me) turned it into a holiday by staying longer.

Pollycat

onomatopoeia99 said:

Don't hold it in the UK, where "wedding" imposes a 100%+ surcharge on everything.

My brother had a fabulous wedding in Italy for a fraction of what the same do would have cost in the UK.  Obviously more expensive for guests as they needed to pay for flights as well, but many (like me) turned it into a holiday by staying longer.

That's great if the guests want to holiday in <insert any country> at whatever time of year the wedding is going to be held.

I've seen quite a few threads on here about bridezillas (and groomzillas) who are aghast at the fact that some guests don't want to or can't afford to pay for flights and accommodation to attend their wedding.

KxMx

I've been to two weddings where they had a sweets cart.

One hired in for a shocking amount of money which was absolutely nothing special, and one diy with sweets, bags, scoops etc bought online. They were displayed creatively on something repurposed. 

The latter was so much nicer and cost less. 

Pennylane

It doesn’t have to cost a fortune for you to have a good time and lovely memories.  When I got married in 1977 it was the norm to get married and have the reception in a village hall or community centre.  I hired a lovely dress and veil, bought white shoes and we hired a community centre. My cousin was a chef so he did all the catering. I didn’t want a big wedding and didn’t even bother with bridesmaids though we did get married in a small chapel.  We couldn’t even afford a honeymoon, just went back to our rented cottage.
I know of young people today who aren’t happy unless they spend tens of thousands with exotic honeymoons, hen parties, stag dos, limousines and they split up after a few months.  My son’s friend is still paying off for his wedding and his kids are 5 and 7!  
Spending a fortune on a big wedding doesn’t mean the marriage will be a happy one. We did OK and are still together after 44 years. 

Pennylane

I meant to say that my friend’s daughter did her wedding on the cheap.  church wedding, afternoon tea in her garden (made by her Mum and sister with a few bits bought in) 50s style dresses dead cheap on Ebay for herself and bridesmaids.Flowers from her Dad’s allotment.  Friend did the photos.  The sun shone and they all sat on hay bales and had a great day.

littlegreenparrot

The thing to remember is that everything is optional apart from the legal bit. 

So you can hire out a castle, invite 1000 people for 3 courses and have a live band, fireworks, new designer dress and the whole shebang. 

Or you can go to a registry office with close family only, wear a high street dress from ebay and have a bring your own party in the village hall. 

Where you sit on the spectrum is entirely individual, but what's important I think is that it's what you want (your friend) and not what you think you should have. Or someone else thinks they should have based on keeping up with the Joneses. 

I booked a local lady to do a barbecue for us at the village hall. My only direction was could we please have the nice sausages and burgers from the butchers

Savvy_Sue

littlegreenparrot said:

The thing to remember is that everything is optional apart from the legal bit. 

:rotfl: Indeed. DH was at one stage authorised to 'do' the legal bit at our previous church, so I know he knows how to do it properly. A few years ago some friends asked him to officiate at their wedding, not held in a church, and he's no longer authorised anyway, so my understanding was that they were getting a registrar in for the legal bit, I'd even heard discussions about this being arranged. 

So you can imagine my horror - I don't think that's too strong a word - when he finished the ceremony and dismissed us to the photos and reception ... AND THEY HADN'T SIGNED THE REGISTER! The groom's father, a church minister, was equally 'nervous'. Didn't take us long to check, and the happy couple had decided to do the deed at a local registry office earlier in the week, without telling anyone, didn't want anyone to know even now (apart from DH, who HAD to know), because THIS was their wedding day, not what they'd done earlier in the week. 

Whereas another couple we knew who were marrying in a church not authorised for weddings (back in the prehistoric days when you couldn't marry just anywhere, only registered churches and registry offices) were going to wait until after the church ceremony and sort the legal bit out when they got round to it. Which they were strongly advised against, because tragedies happen and it's easy NOT to get round to it in the busyness of life. So off they went to the registry office, thinking this was just a formality and didn't really matter at all - except the bride decided it DID matter and she didn't want to take the ring off ready for the church ceremony! "I feel married NOW!" 

So whatever you do, do the legal bit ...