Tackling This Debt One At A Time

[Deleted User]

Hi
I've decided to do my own diary (again!) It's been a very, very long time!  My last diary was going very well until we lost focus and now fast forward to 2021, I'm still in debt but it's going down...again!  Rather than looking at my overall debt, as the title says, I'm tackling it one at a time.  
As much as I would like to clear all my debts as soon as possible, from past experience I have either left my self short, then spent on more or applied for more credit or I've paid the absolute minimum then ended up spending more.  So, Mr Brown Bear and I are tackling each debt at a time until we feel back in control.  

The plan is to tackle CC1, the plan is for this to be paid by October 2021, whilst making minimum payments on CC2.  Once these are cleared we are closing the CC's apart from Mr BB's as when all restrictions are lifted, he will be travelling for work again and a CC is our backup for any expenses.  I am not going to fall into the same trap in keeping all credit cards active as when I'm at my lowest I want to spend, not necessarily on myself but on my family - then feel guilty for having debt again.  Mr bb is also a compulsive spender and does keep asking until I give in.   For the last 5 months, I use my unused CC (CC3) to buy groceries, general shopping, fuel etc as I found it easier to track and budget.  I would eventually want to open another current account and transfer a set amount of  money, the same way as I'm budgeting now.  But at the moment, I'm paying last months spends the following month - if that makes sense.  I would do this first but I'm mindful that the 0% rates will be finishing early next year, so this at the moment is not a priority. 

Once these CC's are paid, it would free up so much money and would feel that we can breathe again.  At the moment I'm paying £550 per month on CC1 & 2, we really need to do this to avoid trying to find another balance transfer or pay interest.  I'm done with playing around with credit cards.  It feels like a massive weight on my shoulders and is always on my mind, which is not helping my mental health.  

Mr BB is on my side this time, more so than before.  We've looked at our outgoings and finally Mr BB has realised the amount of stress I've put on myself with keeping everyone happy.  I actually got really upset last month when Sky emailed me to say that prices were going up, even though I had renewed it less than two weeks previously.  Mr BB wanted to carry on with sky Q, movies, Netflix, disney+, sports etc and even though I negotiated a new deal it was still nearing £100 per month.  When I received the email, I just lost it! - It had only gone up by £5 per month but it had taken it over the £100 mark.  Thankfully, Mr BB took a hard look at what I was trying to manage and realised how selfish he was and cancelled the whole lot except the broadband as they gave us a price that was actually cheaper.

I have to learn to just say no, but I feel like the bad person.  I think once the CC's are gone, we will certainly have more breathing space.  This years plans are to decorate the house with paint and resources we have, free or from a budget.  I would in a few years, like to move so spending money on the house will be kept to a minimum as much as possible.

sourcrates

Moved to diary section.

[Deleted User]

Sorry for posting in the wrong place @sourcrates

[Deleted User]

Today is housework day and tomorrow is food shop day! Money will tight if I want to stay in budget for the next two weeks (credit card statement cut-off 16th of every month...). Trying very hard to use up food in the cupboards and just buy the essentials. I was hoping it was going to be a no spend day today but there are a few bits I need today and cannot wait until tomorrow! Will also be writing my food menu for next week, list for lunch boxes and I cannot forget dog food!  Been up early this morning and currently doing the washing and ironing...will be dreading next weeks washing as I've only had 5 white shirts (which is bad enough!) to iron, next week it will be 15   

peb

Wishing you well.  Pleased Mr is on side now, this will make such a difference.

I don't know how old the shirt wearers are but can they not do their own ironing?  It seems ludicrous to me that ironing is often done by one person in the house and ( my bil being an exception to the rule) by the wife/mother.

[Deleted User]

peb said:

Wishing you well.  Pleased Mr is on side now, this will make such a difference.

I don't know how old the shirt wearers are but can they not do their own ironing?  It seems ludicrous to me that ironing is often done by one person in the house and ( my bil being an exception to the rule) by the wife/mother.

The other two shirt wearers are young-ish but will be learning to do them very soon, I hope!! Ironing shirts is the worst job ever in my house, followed by the bathroom - which has to be done!!! Mr BB sometimes does them but then makes a point for the whole week that he'd done them, which is really annoying  whereas I just get on it or moan on my new diary here now 

ste82

@peb I’m duty ironer in our house, no one has has worked out that I use it as guaranteed way to be left alone to listen to a podcast/football so far!

[Deleted User]

I'm also going to sort out my wardrobes and hopefully put some items on eBay to build up a little savings pot for the bits and pieces. It would be nice to try and declutter too! Sell stuff for a couple of ££, I'm sure it'll all add up eventually! I have tried selling on Faceb@@k but people either want stuff for free and then delivered or mess me around, especially after giving out my home address! Ebay is certainly the way forward!

enthusiasticsaver

I have given up selling or giving stuff on facebook for free.  People just mess you around on there.  Glad that Mr BB is now on board.  It is horrible to be the one saying no we cannot afford it all the time.  I have been that person too when my DH decided long ago to abdicate his financial responsibility to me and had he not changed our marriage would not have survived. 

[Deleted User]

enthusiasticsaver said:

I have given up selling or giving stuff on facebook for free.  People just mess you around on there.  Glad that Mr BB is now on board.  It is horrible to be the one saying no we cannot afford it all the time.  I have been that person too when my DH decided long ago to abdicate his financial responsibility to me and had he not changed our marriage would not have survived. 

Sad to say, I'm finding money/debt thing so stressful. Mr BB seems to leave it to me to sort or to work out how to make things happen so he can have things.  I then leave myself short or end up taking out more debt because things then "crop up". It wasn't until he witnessed me getting hysterical when Sky sent an email with price increases that he truly realised the amount of pressure I had to "keep everyone happy".  I would honestly say, it has put pressure on our relationship, I have contemplated calling it a day as when it comes to money we are so different.  But I am willing to work at this for a little longer in the hope things improve, money wise, with Mr BB - I really hope it does as I love him so much!

enthusiasticsaver

I think communication is the key with finances or at least I found that.  My DH thought I was saying no for the sake of it when we wanted us to buy something or he wanted to splurge on tools for a job he wanted to do.  Over the years we have found a happy medium in that we both now get the same amount each month to spend on whatever we want.  Family purchases though have to be discussed first.  It helps though that we have no debt and savings now and are early retired so on fixed incomes and money is not so much of an issue now. I show him the budget sheet regularly as I did years ago when he could see where our money was going. 

Maybe having some spending money each if you can build it into the budget puts the onus on Mr BB to save for things he wants rather than expecting you to juggle money around is the way to go?  If he spends it on something else (my husband is a fritterer) then it is not there to spend on other stuff.  So less stressful for you if he is the one having to make things happen.  Do you have a monthly budget you could show him?

I would definitely close the cards as you clear them if you think either of you will be tempted to spend on them once empty.