Divorce - without financial settlement?

jamesnewsf

Hi everyone,

I spent 3 years working in the USA and met an American. I returned back to the UK and we maintained a long distance relationship - she visited the UK on a tourist Visa for 6 months to get to know the area that I live in.

It became apparent that the only reason she would be able to move to the UK and us be together would be through a Spouse Visa - so I flew to the UK and we married there. I then paid for a Visa application which was was accepted and she moved to join me.

Fast forward 2 years and she met someone else. Not particularly messy - I just accepted it. She moved straight out to reside with the new partner.

I applied for divorce and we had our Decree Nisi granted.

She didn't bring any capital to the marriage - I owned the house well before meeting her and continued to pay all mortgages/bills etc. There is ~ £150k of equity in my house. My pension is currently valued at £270k.

We are very amicable, and I agreed to give her a token lump sum of £4000 to help her back onto her feet when returning to the US (she can not remain on the Spouse Visa within the UK and will have to apply fresh with new partner if wanting to live with him going forward)

Solicitors and wider advice suggests a formal financial settlement would be prudent. I have seen the forms and am very uncomfortable that my financial position and her acceptance of a small lump sum settlement being perceived to be 'fair' by the judge stamping the settlement.

Despite the infidelity, I am fairly trusting that she would not seek to pursue me for compensation in the future and currently am considering not legally formalising the financial settlement.

Other things that are pushing me towards this are that she will have to initiate seeking compensation from the US which will be expensive and difficult, and also I am certain she will want to re-marry quickly and at that point her ability to start a claim against me is lost. She had previously been married and divorced prior to meeting me (less than a year afterwards)

I hope this is a decent explanation of my situation and wondered if anyone might have advice on these specific questions;

- What is the risk to me if I initiate the Decree Absolute without the financial settlement in place?
- If the financial case is brought to court at a later date - I am effectively deferring my capital being scrutinised, but there is a strong chance that will never happen?

Look forward to any help,

Thanks

CookieMonster

The woman you divorce is not the woman you married. 
There are cases (search on this board and on-line) of spouses coming back decades later when there was no financial settlement at the time or 'forgetting' the informal agreement that they had in place at the time of parting ways.
You trust this woman financially - but she's already broken your trust with infidelity.
If you do this research I expect that you'll be a lot keener to get the split done completely now, even if it costs you (get a decent solicitor).

Please get the Financial Settlement in place, it may be the best money you ever spend.

TBagpuss

There shouldn't be a problem with a court accepting a settlement as fair - from what you say, yours was a short (2 years) childless marriage. It's not uncommon in that situation for each party to take out what they put in'
Court's are also happy for people to agree their own settlement.

When you send an agreed order to the court, you send with it a D81 Statement f Information form, one of the sections on the form (s.9, from memory) allows you to add additional information so you can set out there that the marriage was a short, childless one, that you owned the house before either two of you met and that she did not contribute, and as such you both agree that it is fair for you to keep those assets. 

This allows the judge to see that there is a good reason for the split being unequal. (Also, a Judge cannot simply impose their own will on you - if you send an agreed order, they can approve it, or they can reject it (normally just writing to ask for more information) they can't replace it with something different. So if the judge rejected your order then you would still have the option of doing nothing and waiting to see if your ex chose to pursue a claim. 

If you don't get an order, then she could make a claim at any point in the future (up to the point she remarries, if she hasn't started a claim before that) If she did, a court would then look at the financial position as it was at that point, but could take into account the length of time you had been separated in deciding what was fair. 
Be aware that it isn't just about her making a claim against you, it's also about her potentially being able to claim against your estate after you die. 

jamesnewsf

Cookie, Bagpuss - thanks very much for the help here.

My understanding of what a judge could or couldn't do was incorrect.

Aside from the financial settlement - I want the Decree Absolute granted as a line in the sand for my mental health. I also don't want it hanging out in the open that she is my wife - I don't know what the bloody hell she is up to! Do you see any negatives to me pushing that through in parallel to agreeing a financial settlement? I am struggling to find a reason that wouldnt benefit me - only that she loses certain rights from that point onwards.

RAS

If you both agree, you can DIY the divorce at a cost of about £550. Fill the forms in and both sign.
I assume she's as keen to see the end so that she can move on to the next husband? Get her to sign the financial agreement at the same time. You might want a brief session with a lawyer to make sure the wording is watertight first. You don't need them for the divorce though.

sassyblue

jamesnewsf said:

Cookie, Bagpuss - thanks very much for the help here.

My understanding of what a judge could or couldn't do was incorrect.

Aside from the financial settlement - I want the Decree Absolute granted as a line in the sand for my mental health. I also don't want it hanging out in the open that she is my wife - I don't know what the bloody hell she is up to! Do you see any negatives to me pushing that through in parallel to agreeing a financial settlement? I am struggling to find a reason that wouldnt benefit me - only that she loses certain rights from that point onwards.

I agree with everything TBagpuss says. For the sake of a few hundred pounds get a financial order. And get it through a reputable solicitor NOT a google search!

jamesnewsf

Thanks again for the advice everyone!
I will get myself a solicitor and get it drawn up properly. She will be keen to sign it to release the £4000.

This will take a little time...

I could initiate the Decree Absolute now and really want to get it over the line. Can anyone see any negative to me doing that in parallel with drawing up the settlement?

thorsoak

It is my understanding that when a marriage lasts less than five years and no children are involved, then the financial situation of both parties goes back to that which they had before the marriage took place.

pphillips

jamesnewsf said:

Thanks again for the advice everyone!
I will get myself a solicitor and get it drawn up properly. She will be keen to sign it to release the £4000.

This will take a little time...

I could initiate the Decree Absolute now and really want to get it over the line. Can anyone see any negative to me doing that in parallel with drawing up the settlement?

Only for practical purposes, for example: the financial order could not state that you will pay her £4000 on decree absolute if the decree absolute has already been obtained.