Partner’s Debt

5yearsfree

I too wish you well with this, The only words of advice I can part with is if you stay is he needs to do the work to clean up his mess, be a shoulder but he has to do the work of physically dealing with it all, getting hold of his creditors, filling out forms and coming to arrangements. I was you at 26 and I would hate for you to be me at 46, Iv'e done my husband no favours by constantly cleaning up his financial life it's just ended up as hard work for me and him disliking himself even more as he's feels he's let me down once again. so it's just as much my fault as his.
Partnerships can't really work if its an unequal footing, one partner will end up feeling like a parent and one belittled. Help comes from a place of love but the only person that can fix him is him, its a shame it's taking me to the end of my marriage to work that one out.
Best of luck to you both

RAS

madaboutspots said:

Why has he even got an apartment in his name that he doesn't live in!? I

I think that the partner is paying some of the bills for their shared apartment by direct debit, not for another apartment.

RAS

Daisy

Your BF needs to come on here himself. He's obviously consolidated debt which is pretty much always a bad thing. Depending on when this happened and when he last paid, he may or may not still be liable. He needs proper advice before he makes another payment.

And you both need to get your credit checks are sit down with them together so you know what score is.

nevertoolate21

zippygeorgeandben said:

I wish you luck with this and only you can decide what is right.  Have you spoken to family and friends?  It's important to get a perspective from loved ones, and also a friend who will hopefully give you a balanced view.  I have a friend who 'pulls no punches' and puts the emotion aside, giving me some hard truths I needed to hear.  I think if it wasn't for some advice, I'd be in so much more debt.
The fact that you've posted on here means that you understand that there is an issue which needs addressing.  Has he tried to reduce any of his outgoings?  This excuse about not wanting to discuss finances because of medication doesn't wash with me.  Let us know what's going through your head and we can be hear to help and hopefully help you see the way forward.

sorry but mental health does play a massive part in not wanting to discuss poor finances, especially when the finances may be intrinsically linked to the mental health problems