Enjoy life while you can.

MalMonroe

Everyone's life experience is different and although your neighbour meant well you can't ever give anyone else advice about how to live theirs. Over the years people have given me unsolicited advice but sometimes things happen that you have no control over. I'm now 70 (gulp! how did that happen?!) and whether I should or not I don't feel as if I'm on my last legs. I've got my health, thankfully, I'm still lucid (I think?) and I'm about to launch my own online business, signed up with HMRC to pay tax and everything. Crazy? Maybe. But I'm not dead yet. 

My life took a battering years ago when my husband suddenly and without warning up and left me to raise our 9 year old daughter alone. It was not what I'd planned. That was when I learned that you can't ever plan life with any certainty. I had to then revise my own life plan, go out to work full time (only many years later did I discover that, as a single parent I would have been entitled to benefits. I never claimed benefits) and ensure that I kept a roof over our heads. Life was a struggle for a few years, I never planned that either. But once my daughter had left for uni, I also left my job and went to uni. I'd never have done such a thing if I'd still been married, I'd probably just have retired early and relaxed. 

But at the end of the day, your life is yours. It's short. I retired at 60 and had a lovely time being retired for ten years. Now it's time to get up again and start my next chapter. I'm not going to think that this is the end just because I turned 70. I feel fortunate enough to have the opportunity to use what my daughter keeps telling me is my 'marketable skill' and it's exciting. I don't ever want to be chatting over the fence to any of my (lovely as they are) neighbours giving them advice about spend spend spend. After scrimping and scraping to keep my daughter and myself alive and on the right tracks, I've spent already. And now I'm ready to do more of it! Coronavirus notwithstanding, of course.

MalMonroe

gambleruk said:

Ok here is a thought, take early retirement at 50 with enough to get by on with a smallish pension pot in the future to bridge the gap to state pension. You enjoy the next 25 years staying fit and healthy and spending your money wisely, you then fall ill and are stuck in an average at best care home for the rest of your years for as long as that maybe as you have very little money left, do you think you would lie there and regret retiring early and enjoying your life at an early age and think damn I really should have worked another 15 years so I could pass away in a better care home ? Not trying to be morbid but just wondering where other peoples stance would be on this ? 

Not everyone falls ill and goes into a care home. I certainly don't intend to do that, I'd rather dispose of myself before that happens. 

I just think that life is unpredictable, certainly has been for me and you then have to turn around and find another track. You have to try to do the best you can in the circumstances. Life is short and that fact was illustrated for me last year when my friend's son was tragically killed when he was knocked off his motorcycle by a careless driver. He was 43. That really made me think that you have to try to enjoy what you have while you're here. And why at the age of 70 I want to start again. My friend is never going to get over her loss and her son won't ever get to experience a lot of things. None of us can make definite plans, not really. 

smutput

gambleruk said:

Ok here is a thought, take early retirement at 50 with enough to get by on with a smallish pension pot in the future to bridge the gap to state pension. You enjoy the next 25 years staying fit and healthy and spending your money wisely, you then fall ill and are stuck in an average at best care home for the rest of your years for as long as that maybe as you have very little money left, do you think you would lie there and regret retiring early and enjoying your life at an early age and think damn I really should have worked another 15 years so I could pass away in a better care home ? Not trying to be morbid but just wondering where other peoples stance would be on this ? 

I've always tried to hedge my bets in that I've saved to secure a decent retirement and yet also made sure I've invested in things I enjoy (classic car, nice holidays) along the way. Happily living to a budget and not wasting money on coffee, or shop bought lunch, every day but not sacrificing my today for a tomorrow that might not come. Conscious choices to use money where it added value in the present but also thinking of the future.  I wouldn't have been tempted to pack in work any earlier had it meant scrimping because I prefer to have options. 

marycanary

For the last few years, I have been planning to retire at the end of this financial year. Well, the time to hand in my notice has passed and I have decided to work longer. The main reason is Covid, plus there are a few interesting projects at work I would like to finish. I have more than enough money through a combination of DB pension, lump sum, AVC, cash, SIPP and SP when it kicks in, to live comfortably for the rest of my life.

Today is payday, for the first time in 20 years, I don't have a plan to either pay off debt, establish an emergency fund, pay off the mortgage or add to retirement savings. How will I spend it?  Should I put it towards a holiday? Well, I'm not sure where I can go or when. How about house repair/improvements or a new car? It's a nice problem to have but it all feels very strange. 

One thing's for sure, it won't be added to retirement savings.

Mary

enthusiasticsaver

Yellowvest23 said:

Not sure if this is the correct section but had a thought provking conversation this morning with a neighbour.
Hes 77, worked all his life until 65,paid off his house about 30 years ago and has large small risk savings / investments around £400,000,no children and just a sole brother who moved to Australia and done very well for himself many years ago
He was telling me his biggest regrets in life was 1. Not retiring earlier 2.always living within his means and not spending more than came in each year.3.Thinking that wealth accumaltion was important,after getting a good rainy day fund of a couple of years salary. 4. Not realising when he was much younger how much more money can be enjoyed when young and fit as opposed to old and restricted.
Number 3 after a life time of thinking it was he says becomes very hard to get out off and it becomes a disease in some who never end up enjoying the fruits of their labour.
His last comment to me was spend,spend,send and enjoy it while you can.

This is the correct place to post and does highlight the need for balance between past, current and future expenditure.  
It sounds like your neighbour has  planned incorrectly for retirement and could have gone earlier or he could have saved less and spent more in his youth.  Alternatively he may  have got into a saving habit and carried on never switching to spend mode.  Some people lead a relatively inexpensive lifestyle though and don't need a lot of material possessions and are not bothered about travel.  Did he not spend through choice or was he just focused on saving for retirement? I also do wonder if not having heirs has now affected his mindset. 

One thing I would say is that living a comfortable retirement without money worries alleviates stress and leaves most people with a peace of mind those with no savings obviously do not enjoy.  

There is a balance to be struck and people should talk about this at a much younger age than they do usually (mse members excluded as most are more financially switched on than most.). My husband and I decided we would retire as soon as we were able after paying off our mortgage and helping our children through university and on to the property ladder. We divided our disposable income throughout our working life and saved for holidays, home improvements, cars and retirement so not just focused on the future but we lived for the present too.  We retired at 58 and still luckily in good health so we are able to travel, enjoy our hobbies and grandchildren. 

We were told the earliest years of retirement are the most expensive so your neighbour needs to ask himself why he did not retire earlier than 65 and why he did not then spend some of his wealth.  Was it because he did not enjoy expensive holidays, hobbies etc or was he scared to spend? 

zagfles

Yellowvest23 said:

I expected the "i dont spend or treat myself but happy " replies, since after all this is a money saving forum and the demographic would be that type.Lets be honest we all know they are kidding themselves and trying to justify their addiction of saving.

Yes, that's right, everyone thinks like you, nobody is different and if they say they are they are obviously lying because as we know, we are all the same. So there's nothing to discuss really, is there?

enthusiasticsaver

Yellowvest23 said:

I expected the "i dont spend or treat myself but happy " replies, since after all this is a money saving forum and the demographic would be that type.Lets be honest we all know they are kidding themselves and trying to justify their addiction of saving.

Money saving does not necessarily mean saving for the sake of it.  It means getting good value for whatever is bought.  We are not bothered by cars which many buy as a status symbol but when we do holidays we do them in 5 star hotels and we eat in nice restaurants rather than cheap and cheerful.  It is a matter of choice but if you have the savings behind you at least you have a choice to do these things at a level which makes you happy.  We do plenty of short breaks we would not be able to do had we not had the money to do them and now we have the time. I know people who spend, spend and spend and now complain they are still working in their 60s because they have to for financial reasons whereas we are retired. Everyone has different spending priorities and money does not necessarily make people happy but it generally makes life easier. Accumulating wealth for no reason though seems a waste to me too but generally there is a reason (peace of mind for many). We are lucky though in that we have DB pensions so we could spend our savings/investments or gift it as we have started doing that a lot. 

barnstar2077

I do think though that even at 77 with some ailments, there is no reason why your neighbour couldn't spend the money now and get something out of it.  He could still be saying the same thing in ten years time having let another ten years pass him by.

Ciprico

..I think it's easier to save if you were born in the 60s/70s (or before). 
Expectations were lower, eating out/takeaways were a treat, stopping for coffee and cake whilst shopping was not a "thing", if something broke it was normally possible to repair, (or make do), DIY always considered before getting someone in, and things we did buy tended to last longer. (or maybe I just had a miserable upbringing, but I don't think so !)
This is not a moan about millenials, they can only make the best of what's offered today, there's no going back, but there's no denying a lot of money is wasted on junk food, disposable fashion, and "made in China" rubbish....

zagfles

enthusiasticsaver said:

Yellowvest23 said:

I expected the "i dont spend or treat myself but happy " replies, since after all this is a money saving forum and the demographic would be that type.Lets be honest we all know they are kidding themselves and trying to justify their addiction of saving.

Money saving does not necessarily mean saving for the sake of it.  It means getting good value for whatever is bought.  We are not bothered by cars which many buy as a status symbol but when we do holidays we do them in 5 star hotels and we eat in nice restaurants rather than cheap and cheerful.  It is a matter of choice but if you have the savings behind you at least you have a choice to do these things at a level which makes you happy.  We do plenty of short breaks we would not be able to do had we not had the money to do them and now we have the time. I know people who spend, spend and spend and now complain they are still working in their 60s because they have to for financial reasons whereas we are retired. Everyone has different spending priorities and money does not necessarily make people happy but it generally makes life easier. Accumulating wealth for no reason though seems a waste to me too but generally there is a reason (peace of mind for many). We are lucky though in that we have DB pensions so we could spend our savings/investments or gift it as we have started doing that a lot. 

Indeed, I think this is the point. Don't deny yourself now to have a better life later. But also don't spend just for the sake of it under the illusion "you get what you pay for" and that there's some linear relationship between spending and happiness.

Think about what would happen if you got a terminal diagnosis tomorrow. Would you regret not having done things? I certainly wouldn't regret not buying flash cars, not staying in luxury hotels, not flying first class etc, because none of those things appeal to me.

I'm quite lucky in that the stuff I want to do I can afford to do within my income level and have enough left over to provide for the same in retirement. I'm where I want to be, so I can do stuff others would consider excessive like go on 6 holidays in 12 months while spending not that much more than people who only take 1 or 2 holidays.

Of course, if you like expensive stuff and aren't very rich, you'll need to make compromises between what you have now and what you have later.