Dementia / Driving

Ciprico

Does anyone have any suggestions/experience/guidance about forcing an awkward dementia sufferer to surrender their driving license ?
The individual involved refuses to get medically declared as a dementia sufferer, but there is absolutely no doubt he is, and that he is unfit to
drive. (he is elderly).
Last resort we would simply forcibly take the keys, but that would cause lots of bad feelings so we would prefer someone in authority, out of the family
to tell him. 
If a doctor or DVLA told him he can't drive, he wouldn't, he is very law abiding, but he doesn't see himself as a dementia sufferer so won't get tested.
It is impossible to reason with him, due to the illness, so having a sensible conversation is not an option, his response goes
of along the lines "I've been driving for 70 years without an accident.. blah blah blah"
I'm not expecting a miracle answer, but any ideas could be helpful

Bossyboots

You could report your fears to the DVLA yourself although I suspect at the moment it would take a while for them to write to him.  Would you be concerned if he realised who had reported him?  Can someone sabotage the car (disconnect the battery perhaps) or is he savvy enough to work it out.  Another tactic is to ask his GP to offer him a "well man" appointment, tipping off the GP what your worries are.  Unfortunately at the moment I am ot sure that is a viable option but perhaps you should write to the GP with your concerns anyway.  Again, there is the risk he would find out but you may have to weigh that up against the gentleman causing a serious accident.

williamgriffin

If they are genuinely law abiding and will listen to authority get the local police round. Better to spend half an hour with them now than when something goes wrong. 

elsien

Technically this doesn't apply as there is no formal diagnosis, but there may be some useful information in here anyway.
Driving and dementia - Dementia UK
It's not unusual for people to deny that they may have dementia - some people genuinely don't recognise the issues, others are just scared and in denial.
I am wondering whether you could leave dementia out of any conversations and talk to the person about your concerns in more general terms such as reaction times and aging. What are your specific concerns around his driving ability?  Have there been any specific incidents that you could talk through that have impacted on their driving? Are they having difficulties with night driving; have they got lost; is their lane discipline at roundabouts terrible so they're having more near misses: have they reversed into cars when parking - I am wondering whether this approach may allow them to discuss the worries without instantly shutting everyone out?

neilmcl

123mat123 said:

Does anyone have any suggestions/experience/guidance about forcing an awkward dementia sufferer to surrender their driving license ?
The individual involved refuses to get medically declared as a dementia sufferer, but there is absolutely no doubt he is, and that he is unfit to
drive. (he is elderly).
Last resort we would simply forcibly take the keys, but that would cause lots of bad feelings so we would prefer someone in authority, out of the family
to tell him. 
If a doctor or DVLA told him he can't drive, he wouldn't, he is very law abiding, but he doesn't see himself as a dementia sufferer so won't get tested.
It is impossible to reason with him, due to the illness, so having a sensible conversation is not an option, his response goes
of along the lines "I've been driving for 70 years without an accident.. blah blah blah"
I'm not expecting a miracle answer, but any ideas could be helpful

That's sounds purely your opinion, are you medically trained to make this diagnosis? The fact that "he is elderly" doesn't automatically make him unfit to drive.

AdrianC

Being brutal about this, somebody is going to have to man up, grow a pair, and get things moving.

If he isn't going to go to a doctor and get diagnosed, and nobody who knows him is going to do anything, then...?
What will be the nudge needed?
Waiting until he does break that 70 year duck?

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/travel-hobbies/driving/worried-about-someones-driving/

https://www.gmc-uk.org/ethical-guidance/ethical-guidance-for-doctors/confidentiality---patients-fitness-to-drive-and-reporting-concerns-to-the-dvla-or-dva

Browntoa

I know 2 people that have done this , one was his elderly father whose car started getting more and more scrapes on the bumpers and sides but his fathers answer was he had no idea where they come from . He got his father to drive him somewhere and was frightened by how poor his driving was .

The DVLA report asks some basic questions about the person being reported and you do not have to leave your details. 

A letter is sent asking for details of any diagnosed conditions and medications etc , a refusal to reply ends in a suspension of the licence . The DVLA will also ask for permission to approach your GP .

Herzlos

If he's dangerous to drive (and sounds like he's at least 87?) then the best thing to do is just take the keys away from him. He'll get over it eventually, especially if he doesn't drive much anyway.

Does he have any regular visits with a doctor/carer of any sort who could have a word with him?

williamgriffin

Browntoa said:

I know 2 people that have done this , one was his elderly father whose car started getting more and more scrapes on the bumpers and sides but his fathers answer was he had no idea where they come from . He got his father to drive him somewhere and was frightened by how poor his driving was .

The DVLA report asks some basic questions about the person being reported and you do not have to leave your details. 

A letter is sent asking for details of any diagnosed conditions and medications etc , a refusal to reply ends in a suspension of the licence . The DVLA will also ask for permission to approach your GP .

Problem there is if nothings diagnosed then if they answer the questions in the right way nothIng will happen. 

Misslayed

We had this problem with my mother, it was solved when my sister had to 'borrow' the car as hers was off the road (this had happened before, not unusual), but this time her car took aaaaages to be fixed, and Mum just gradually forgot about it. 

EssexExile

Have you been out with him to see how bad his driving is? I had an aunt with dementia, she drove fine but when she arrived she didn't know why she'd gone there. Age isn't a disqualifier either, my dad was driving at 99 and he was fine.

If he really is bad then take the keys, you may save a life.