Starting court proceedings for my children

Labtec81

I just need some advice please as I can't proceed with court arrangements unless mediation has been attempted so please read the below and and any advice would be very much welcomed.

My ex left me 5 years ago and I attempted mediation and she said something to them and they simply told me they couldn't continue with mediation, no reason was given, so it couldn't go ahead but now I am applying to court for a court order to see my children and it says I need a letter from a mediator stating we attempted mediation but it was so long ago I don't have an up to date letter or the letter from all that time ago either.

I am currently unable to attend mediation due to being temporarily disabled and also I have been told I have to shield because of a medical condition putting me at major risk of becoming seriously ill if I was to catch covid but I still need to start court proceedings against my ex despite that as my kids deserve both parents in their lives and my ex constantly swaps and changes when and how I can speak to my kids and see them so I need something legally binding but I need to show mediation been attempted before I can continue my application.

Thank you.

tacpot12

Mediation certificates are only valid for four months, so you are well out of time to get a certificate from your previous mediation attempt. I think the court will expect you to try mediation now - as five years is a long time, and things should be different now. You may believe them not to be, but your ex is five years old, as are the children. 

This webpage has some great information and confirms that you can do mediation online - something that would not have been possible five years ago Your Mediation Certificate - (what you NEED to know in 2020) (directmediationservices.co.uk)

You, your ex and mediator should be able to have a discussion via a video call that will allow the mediator to see whether they can help or not. Mediation is a much cheaper and less stressful route than going to court, so I would say that it is worth trying it again. 

MovingForwards

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6222298/i-need-serious-help-and-advice-to-help-me-see-my-kids/p1

All the advice and guidance was provided in your other thread.

Labtec81

Thanks Tacpot12, my children are now aged 11 and 8.

And when it comes to my ex nothing has changed although yes you are correct it is 5 years since she left but she still makes things unbearably difficult! And I also agree things should be different now. Unfortunately they're not.

Also Moving forwards no All the advice and guidance was not provided in my other thread and that thread wasn't asking this specific question either.

Morrigan_2020

Just read your previous thread and it seems like all the info you need was in the post by TBagpuss on the first page, including the information specifically about mediation. 

sassyblue

I remember your other thread and I don’t understand why you’re back asking this question because you said you could do all the court applications yourself. If you didn’t know you needed this certificate before applying I don’t hold out much hope for success I’m afraid.

it’s highly likely your ex told the Mediator you’d been aggressive in some way before and that’s why mediation didn’t go ahead but YOU should have been given a mediation certificate then if you attempted to instigate mediation. However, that’s irrelevant now as the certificate only last for four months.

something is a bit off here as you thought you had all the answers on your previous thread and didn’t want to listen to the good advice you were given then.

Labtec81

How is something a bit off!? That thread was about court action THIS THREAD is about mediation!! And it's a fresh thread just for that. I really don't get you or other people's problem with me and anyone else for that matter creating another thread!! Does it affect you one way or the other NO! Is it a major problem NO.

And yes I said I can do all the court applications myself and I can! But as you know (your just being difficult) I can't continue the court form without having a mediation certificate showing it's been attempted and providing the details on the form from a mediator!!

Also yes I was given a mediation certificate then but like you said it isn't valid now and is IRRELEVANT hence why I need a new one, hence this thread! So why even bring it up if it's irrelevant, you clearly like causing friction when it's not needed!!!!

And your wrong saying I didn't want to listen to good advice, what I am not willing to do is be dictated to! And forced to do what someone else wants me to do and just because you and others spit their dummy out because I won't do something your way, how is that my problem? 
If you have nothing constructive to add then don't post on my thread.

ontheroad1970

This is about mediation?  Yet your thread title is about court proceedings, and your motivation for mediation seems to be given the ability to take it to court.  Have that attitude towards a mediator and they will decide that your heart isn't in the mediation.

sassyblue

Labtec81 said:

How is something a bit off!? That thread was about court action THIS THREAD is about mediation!! And it's a fresh thread just for that. I really don't get you or other people's problem with me and anyone else for that matter creating another thread!! Does it affect you one way or the other NO! Is it a major problem NO.

And yes I said I can do all the court applications myself and I can! But as you know (your just being difficult) I can't continue the court form without having a mediation certificate showing it's been attempted and providing the details on the form from a mediator!!

Also yes I was given a mediation certificate then but like you said it isn't valid now and is IRRELEVANT hence why I need a new one, hence this thread! So why even bring it up if it's irrelevant, you clearly like causing friction when it's not needed!!!!

And your wrong saying I didn't want to listen to good advice, what I am not willing to do is be dictated to! And forced to do what someone else wants me to do and just because you and others spit their dummy out because I won't do something your way, how is that my problem? 
If you have nothing constructive to add then don't post on my thread.

If you re-read your first post on this thread you said you can’t attend Mediation yet still expect to start legal proceedings anyway.  You are the one being difficult, not me, do you think I set the rules? 

There are no ways round this, you need to attend Mediation and in your circumstances you are unable to.

I sympathise with anyone in your position but you have a huge attitude problem, you're not being 'dictated to' you’re being given good advice and getting angry because there’s no way round it. It’s not my way it’s the Court's way, nobody here is spitting their dummy out because it’s not our problem is it?

You need to calm down and accept that right now there’s nothing you can do, unless somehow you can go through mediation, have you tried calling any mediation services?

Labtec81

ontheroad1970 said:

This is about mediation?  Yet your thread title is about court proceedings, and your motivation for mediation seems to be given the ability to take it to court.  Have that attitude towards a mediator and they will decide that your heart isn't in the mediation.

No your wrong. I'd quite happily go through mediation but it's my ex that is adamant about court, but obviously that can't happen unless I have attempted mediation which my ex wouldn't turn up to anyway.. I'm more than happy for mediation rather than court but she isn't willing to do it.

Labtec81

sassyblue said:

Labtec81 said:

How is something a bit off!? That thread was about court action THIS THREAD is about mediation!! And it's a fresh thread just for that. I really don't get you or other people's problem with me and anyone else for that matter creating another thread!! Does it affect you one way or the other NO! Is it a major problem NO.

And yes I said I can do all the court applications myself and I can! But as you know (your just being difficult) I can't continue the court form without having a mediation certificate showing it's been attempted and providing the details on the form from a mediator!!

Also yes I was given a mediation certificate then but like you said it isn't valid now and is IRRELEVANT hence why I need a new one, hence this thread! So why even bring it up if it's irrelevant, you clearly like causing friction when it's not needed!!!!

And your wrong saying I didn't want to listen to good advice, what I am not willing to do is be dictated to! And forced to do what someone else wants me to do and just because you and others spit their dummy out because I won't do something your way, how is that my problem? 
If you have nothing constructive to add then don't post on my thread.

If you re-read your first post on this thread you said you can’t attend Mediation yet still expect to start legal proceedings anyway.  You are the one being difficult, not me, do you think I set the rules? 

There are no ways round this, you need to attend Mediation and in your circumstances you are unable to.

I sympathise with anyone in your position but you have a huge attitude problem, you're not being 'dictated to' you’re being given good advice and getting angry because there’s no way round it. It’s not my way it’s the Court's way, nobody here is spitting their dummy out because it’s not our problem is it?

You need to calm down and accept that right now there’s nothing you can do, unless somehow you can go through mediation, have you tried calling any mediation services?

The only reason I can't attend mediation isn't because I'm not willing to, perhaps I should have worded it differently, I'm willing but my ex isn't, I'd much rather go through mediation rather than court.

I have contacted a mediation service today I'm just waiting for a response.