Is there a way to solve lodger issues?

Someonestuck

I'm having real problems with my lodger. I would be at serious risk of long-term damage if I were to contract Covid-19 (or the new variant(s) and she knows this but thinks that her mental health and going out to socialise with her friends and family (potentially bringing the virus home with her) is more important because she "needs" to socialise and she has Bipolar disorder so she and her family seem to believe that her mental health and wellbeing is worth more than my- or her own- physical/neurological health. She isn't working because she thinks that it's too dangerous, but somehow socialising is different. She has also lied to me more than once that she's locked the front door (obviously not having locked it would invalidate my contents insurance if someone were to break in) because she finds it difficult to unlock.
My lodger has bipolar disorder so she's often really difficult to live with but we usually get on fine. Her family is friends with my family, so she's awkward to just give notice to. I've tried to talk to her about her behaviour and she either cries or gets angry about anything that's a query or disagreement. I've been looking for jobs she could apply for in another county where her sister lives, but my lodger also has very few qualifications and is unwilling to upskill. I'm in a situation where I don't feel that I can just give my lodger her notice, because her family are friends with my family and I need her rent. I don't know if another lodger would be better or worse.

Any advice?

princeofpounds

Yes, but it's not going to be advice you want to hear. Give her notice.

But, if you really want to avoid giving her notice right now, then make it clear what ground rules you expect going forward in your house, and also make it clear that if they are broken, then you will give notice. Then there can be no surprises when it happens, and you can be honest with everyone about why.

As for the bipolar etc. stuff - it's not really relevant. If the ground rules for lodging in your home aren't good for her mental health, then she needs to go and live somewhere else, for her own benefit rather than yours.

Or, if you want to take a more cowardly approach that doesn't depend on her actions - make up a plausible reason why you can't have a lodger any more beyond a certain point in time, then give notice on that basis.

As for needing her money - that's on you. Either you think the money is worth the risk or it isn't. 

AdrianC

A great example of why not to mix business with family/friends.

Which is more important to you? Not potentially upsetting friends of your family... or your security and health?

RAS

Put the conditions in writing as per princeofpounds. Consider talking to a family member about the situation, someone who knows the other family. If she wants to socialise, she may have to stop over with them.

And clue yourself up on what is and is not considered a support bubble. So when she argues that she can go out with mates, you know to what extent that is reasonable given the current regulations and what are excuses. Edit, that may change in the next few days/weeks.

Ultimately though she needs to move for her own sake. And stop job hunting.

wilfred30

In answer to your thread title, yes, there is.  You give her notice to leave.  It really is that simple.  You're just making excuses.

SpiderLegs

If you are unwilling to give her notice then there is no advice to give.

thread closed.

getmore4less

Give notice.

Get rid of them if they are mixing with multiple other households. 

If anyone gives(especially their family) you grieve tell them to take them in and do tell them they are taking on someone who is probably breaking the rules. 

If you know where they are breaking the rules tell the police. 

What tier are you in? 

They can't be a solo bubble as they are on a adult household 

pramsay13

I don't know you or your lodger but in some cases there can be a greater risk of harm to people suffering from serious mental health issues. 
It doesn't sound like the she will change so you need to decide what is more important to you.

hopeitwill

I would echo all of the comments and adding that your mental health should be more important for you than her mental health.

greatcrested

I echo all the above.

I trust your contract with her specifies a sensible notice period ie 1 week?

Or is there no specified agreed notice period?

If the latter, the notice served must be 'reasonable'.

A rule of thumb for 'reasonable' is a weeks notice for weekly rent or a months notice for monthly rent.

But that is just a rule of thumb. A court would also take other relevant factors into account in determining reasonableness and a risk to your health from the pandemic exacerbated by the lodger's irresponsible behavior would make a shorter notice period 'reasonable'.