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How much to live on

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  • helensbiggestfan
    helensbiggestfan Posts: 2,359 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Tomorrow is the 11th anniversary of my husbands death.  Always a bittersweet time for me.  Relieved that his suffering came to an end, but still miss him, more than words can say.  

    The thing about losing a life partner is not just losing someone who meant the world to you, it's that your whole world changes.  Your future is not the one you had envisaged and planned for.  That is especially true when it comes to retirement.  I'm just glad he got to tick so many of the items on his bucket list. 

    He had always wanted to go to China. One day I impulsively booked his dream trip without telling him. I just surprised him when he got home from work. His face was a picture.  That was 2002.  In 2005 he got sick.  If we had waited "just a few more years" he might never have made it. 

    The moral of the story.......don't put your lives on hold, waiting for "when" because "when" might never come.  
    This really resonates with me.  I lost my husband last year in September, so coming up for the first anniversary of his death.  Miss him terribly but, like you, relieved his suffering ended.  Your world certainly does change; I recently went to see the Rev.  Richard Coles and he talked about how when his husband died, he didn't just lose his life partner but his future as well. 
    Like you, we ticked off a few bucket items - China, Peru, Southern Africa.  Last April, he had just finished planning our next big trip to NZ when he was diagnosed and we never made it.  Next year, my eldest daughter and I are off to NZ to fulfil the dream he never realised.   
    We often think about how we will do things later, or assume that we have loads of time.  We always thought that we would have 10 good years health wise, once we retired, and then get decrepit. 

    The time we have is now, enjoy it and live life to the full.
     
    So sorry to hear that you recently lost your husband.  My sincere condolences.  It's early days yet for you but I wish you every happiness. I am glad you decided to go to NZ. I hope you have a wonderful time.  
  • Smudgeismydog
    Smudgeismydog Posts: 407 Ambassador
    100 Posts Second Anniversary Photogenic Mortgage-free Glee!
    Tomorrow is the 11th anniversary of my husbands death.  Always a bittersweet time for me.  Relieved that his suffering came to an end, but still miss him, more than words can say.  

    The thing about losing a life partner is not just losing someone who meant the world to you, it's that your whole world changes.  Your future is not the one you had envisaged and planned for.  That is especially true when it comes to retirement.  I'm just glad he got to tick so many of the items on his bucket list. 

    He had always wanted to go to China. One day I impulsively booked his dream trip without telling him. I just surprised him when he got home from work. His face was a picture.  That was 2002.  In 2005 he got sick.  If we had waited "just a few more years" he might never have made it. 

    The moral of the story.......don't put your lives on hold, waiting for "when" because "when" might never come.  
    This really resonates with me.  I lost my husband last year in September, so coming up for the first anniversary of his death.  Miss him terribly but, like you, relieved his suffering ended.  Your world certainly does change; I recently went to see the Rev.  Richard Coles and he talked about how when his husband died, he didn't just lose his life partner but his future as well. 
    Like you, we ticked off a few bucket items - China, Peru, Southern Africa.  Last April, he had just finished planning our next big trip to NZ when he was diagnosed and we never made it.  Next year, my eldest daughter and I are off to NZ to fulfil the dream he never realised.   
    We often think about how we will do things later, or assume that we have loads of time.  We always thought that we would have 10 good years health wise, once we retired, and then get decrepit. 

    The time we have is now, enjoy it and live life to the full.
     
    I’m so sorry @savingpennies, but glad to hear you managed to tick off some bucket trips, and I think it’s lovely you are going to NZ with your eldest daughter. 

    Completely agree with your sentiment that the time is now
    x
    I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Pension, Debt Free Wanabee, and Over 50 Money Saving boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the Report button, or by e-mailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
  • angieb15edin
    angieb15edin Posts: 31 Forumite
    10 Posts First Anniversary Name Dropper
    When in Norway ten years ago every can or plastic bottle had a recycling label from memory, that if scanned at the recycling point gave you a voucher to spend in the shop.

    Really easy and convenient.

    Much like the self scan systems in supermarkets. I always use them in Tesco for my main shops. Tells you how much you've spent and automatically applies any coupons you may have. It doesn't automatically deduct the 10% discount with Clubcard Extra but it is a pretty straightforward calculation after all.


    Years ago our local Tesco extra had a fairly large machine in the corner of the car park which gave you 10 club card points for every aluminium can you recycled in it 
    it also accepted glass and plastic bottles but you didn’t get points for these
    we actually paid for two first class BA flights to South Africa using the points and an American Express two for one voucher
    happy days indeed
    It was removed and is now a McDonald’s!,
    pre Covid our local Iceland had a machine in the shop that gave you 10p for every glass plastic and aluminium item you recycled and gave you a voucher to spend in store 
    i used to spend mine on ice cream 
    so many people asked what I was doing when I was using it
  • tooldle
    tooldle Posts: 1,633 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Tesco in my city are still running the reverse vending machine trial. Plastic bottles only I think and capped at max ten bottles (£1). Lidl have a pilot running in their stores across Glasgow. 

  • GunJack
    GunJack Posts: 11,880 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Personally I love self checkout - I really only half understand why shoppers resist it.  Check the prices as you shop, pack as you want with no clucking about the time you are taking from the queue, loyalty card discounts automatically applied - what is not to like?

    Don't want to go back to old fashioned way of doing things, tbh.  Chat boxes have their place, as does 'X' when dealing with companies.  AI will change our world yet again - exciting times!  Love it!

    I play Bridge - the internet has absolutely opened up that world so that if you have mobility problems you can still play 24/7 and chat.  Clubs have their own 'closed' internet games, so you can play online against club members.

    Love, love, love the internet - I remember being sooooooooo bored when a child.  But I did watch a lot of Sunday afternoon films on TV....


    Any recommendations for online bridge sites??
    ......Gettin' There, Wherever There is......

    I have a dodgy "i" key, so ignore spelling errors due to "i" issues, ...I blame Apple :D
  • MarzipanCrumble
    MarzipanCrumble Posts: 351 Forumite
    100 Posts Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    If you belong to a local Bridge club often they have online sessions using RealBridge.  Otherwise people use Bridge Base Online or BBO which is mostly free and has players from everywhere.  Be aware that BBO is American but does also have ACOL option.
    https://www.bridgebase.com/

    No Fear Bridge is subscription (about £55 pa), offers self learn lessons/tutorials, quizzes on play and also playing solo curated hands that teach you someting.  It offers very limited online playing at prescribed times
    https://www.nofearbridge.co.uk/

    Sure there are others out there
  • Smudgeismydog
    Smudgeismydog Posts: 407 Ambassador
    100 Posts Second Anniversary Photogenic Mortgage-free Glee!
    What a wonderful post annielyn, thank you so much for sharing.
    I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Pension, Debt Free Wanabee, and Over 50 Money Saving boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the Report button, or by e-mailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
  • helensbiggestfan
    helensbiggestfan Posts: 2,359 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    edited 21 August at 4:28PM
    Same here, Annielyn.  Lovely post.  So glad everything has worked out so well for you.  Love that John Lennon quote.  He was bang on with that one. 

    I too retired early and unexpectedly (to become my husbands carer). I was too young to draw my pension at the time and although we did struggle financially I don't regret it for a moment. Some things, like quality time with loved ones, really are more important than money.  

    If necessary, one can always find a way to get money, but time, once spent, can never be regained.  

    Feeling quite autumnal here today......

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