Beating Lifestyle Inflation and Staying Mortgage Free!

badmemory

I agree about presents.  I only buy for my son now.  Once you get to a certain stage in life if you want something you go out & buy it.  If you are still buying presents for someone then the odds are its fattening or on its way to a charity shop.

earthgirl2

Thanks so much for these comments! I think whatever you think is right, is right. I.e. I think you should decide yourself. But then I felt a bit out of touch. The birthday was actually randomly 15 months ago. I did a cake and candles as well which I think was much more appreciated than the gift. I agree that when you get to a certain age, it's doing thoughtful things or being a good friend that counts, not everyone putting in lots of money.

savingholmes

I think you have to adapt to your means. I spent £6 on a sis' milestone birthday. I did offer a personally painted gift on top however which she turned down so her loss.

earthgirl2

Urgh I could cry.
The lodger, who is lovely, moved out  
He left a lovely note about how he will miss us all and we made him part of the family etc, but no notice of moving out.
This is dreadful as I've turned down a lot of people for airbnb and also students because we wanted to keep the lodger. Now I'm a bit stuck, because I've taken some weekend airbnbs here, so I can't give the room to a ukrainian family (which I know isn't a money making thing - it's just something we wanted to do), so I have to keep on with either airbnb/students/lodger until September.

So rather than dwell on it, I'm going to have another look at our finances and see where we are.

I think I've got another online student, just temporary and intensive, so that's good news.

earthgirl2

So I've looked back through our finances over the last 6 months to look at ways to save, and I've also got a few money making ideas. The best thing to do is have a lodger or a student though, so I've contacted a few people about that.

Money saving areas:

• My phone and kids phone - currently £6 per month each but could get cheaper
• Presents for adults - could make or get these cheaper
• football camp quite good value £50 /week at Easter, but in summer a relative is going to play footie with my kids, I'm sure they will play with their friends and I could see what else we could do for free, I really don't mind playing with the kids but they are far too good to play football with me now! I'm just embarassing
• meals out can go for a while -especially as dates can be romantic summer picnics (if it ever stops raining!)
• Look at horseriding again - see what I can do here.
• use up our toiletries we have
• give children pocket money (when they earn it for doing jobs and helping out, doing extra lessons etc) and they save that up for cinema tickets etc. rather than me just paying.
• Ditto for sports clothing and equipment - they can save up and buy second hand - 1 child is sooo good at this already, he is a better bargain hunter than me!
• If we are to stay in budget, we can't afford the butchers in the village for all meat - I spend about £47 on about 3 or 4 meals, not the cheapest cuts, but so expensive. I remember they delivered to me the first week of lockdown, and I want to support the local businesses, so I want to go once a week and spend a little. Maybe I could learn about cheaper cuts of meat.
• going away this summer, we have a camping trip and our usual timeshare lodge in Scotland booked. I could also look at visiting a few relatives to do fun things - we did it last year when covid allowed and it worked really well!

No ideas:

tween/teen boys gifts

EssexHebridean

Can you not claim payment from the lodger for the notice period at least? There presumably was one agreed so he ought to cough up? Appreciate it doesn't help with who you can let the room to going forwards, though! 

savingholmes

Ouch I feel your pain. Hope you find a solution soon

earthgirl2

EssexHebridean said:

Can you not claim payment from the lodger for the notice period at least? There presumably was one agreed so he ought to cough up? Appreciate it doesn't help with who you can let the room to going forwards, though! 

We agreed a notice period of one week, but he just left. Next time I'll take payment up front

beanielou

Take a couple of weeks upfront.

earthgirl2

Hi all, I can't believe I've not posted for a couple of weeks, time has been flying by! I'll do a life update and a money update, and see if I can come up with a path forward.

Life got a bit messy, I've been having facial paralysis on and off if I get tired since last July. I had a strange episode a few weeks ago where I got facial paralysis down the left side, really, really exhausted and totally confused - I forgot how to set the table for example. My brain felt like treacle. I had a bad headache and I still have a sore neck. The scariest thing was the total confusion I didn't know where I was supposed to be or why. I went to the doctors who reading between the lines, is concerned about stroke or ms. She took me off medication which has stroke side affects and prescribed some really strong betablockers. I'm much less confused now, with no paralysis or pain other than neck pain. She is going to refer me to a neurologist but the waiting list is two years, and I'm not an urgent case. Not sure if I should go private as she said it would cost about £200 for the initial consultation, but I don't really want to jump the queue so to speak, or spend the £200. Side affects of the massive betablockers is insomnia

I still carried on working but rested as much as I could. If it happened again I would stop working as I wasn't very effective!

Anyway, whilst I was resting and thinking about the future and my health, I came up with quite a few things I'd like to improve. The only thing is, all the things I wanted to change involved spending money - so it's that lifestyle inflation battle again, and also knowing where I want to spend my money - what do I want to spend it on - I only just break even so what do I use the little extra money I can earn here and there on...save for the big travelling breaks I want to do? Save for retirement? or spend on the smaller things that make everyday life easier and better? I guess the answer is to budget out pots for everything, so that I don't feel immense guilt or frustration.

Because I lived so frugally for so long, I feel guilt when I spend money, and whilst its good to be frugal, I also have to live and have some things to help me. I find this balance so hard. So here is what I've been spending money on whilst also not trying to spend money

Life and money out

Planner - I spent £7 on a daily planner and I love it! It helps me focus on the top 3 things, remember to cook dinner and use my time effectively. It is a want rather then a need though. I think I could photocopy one of the pages and bind them. Or maybe ask for the next one for Xmas.

Mediterranean diet - supposed to be the most healthy. I've got a two week rotation menu set up. A lot of it is fairly cheap, a pasta dish every week, a couple of dishes with chicken thighs, but grocery shop for 4 including packed lunches and household things is costing me about £75/ week. I think this is average, maybe just above average, but I'm always used to less. I think I need to eat healthier whilst I figure out what is going on in my head literally.

Grocery delivery - I had a pass that was finishing so I was going to go to Aldi now but with feeling so confused, and sore neck, I don't think I could face a big shop there. I will probably get a delivery pass for a slightly cheaper supermarket than I had - mid week, to get the heavy things and most things to give my brain peace, and then do a fairly big top up at aldi. Mr Ms sent me a free delivery pass and I've been using that but the food is so expensive.

I haven't done this yet, but work are offering council gym /pool for £18.50 / month. I'm in two minds, but booking myself into classes means I'll go! I need to do more weight baring exercise. I think with the summer holidays coming, I could do this at home with body weight, but I'd like to meet new people and be 'pushed' by an instructor too, and use the gym weights. Maybe I'll see what I can do myself first.

Wild swimming - I've decided to join a few groups to meet a few more people. I found a wild swimming group that I love, and they have totally taken me in and made me feel welcome. I've made new friends over a shared experience which is what I was really wanting. To be part of the group I had to buy a tow float (£12) and they recommend socks and gloves neoprene, and these were £20. I haven't used the socks and gloves yet and could send them back, but I'll probably want them in winter. Maybe I'll give them to myself from my mum who can give me the cash for my birthday.

I've joined a free walking group as well, and someone from work told me about another local group I could join. I don't need any equipment for this, just someone to look after the kids if I want to go.

In an effort to be more sociable, I've been to a work night out, spent £20, and also invited some friends here on Sunday. I ordered a bbq pack from a local butchers, so I'm supporting a local business. It will cost me about £35, but the rest of the food will be very cheap/ homegrown.

I have planted out all of the plants I got in plug form in a bulk buy back in February. The garden looks so much better.

I have also bought a few other things we needed - wanted in the Dun3lm sale. 8 placemats and coasters for £7, a bread bin for £18 (ours the lid has smashed and I've glued it back together, but it is about 15 years old). I also bought lots of little candles and difusers for Christmas and birthday presents, and a couple of wedding presents for two weddings later in the year.

I bought a dress for a wedding off ebay but I'm not sure if it's weddingy enough spent £7. It was t shirt material which wasn't in the description. I will only buy from charity shops after seeing things now.

I bought ds1 a book £5. I couldn't get it at the library and it's good that he asks me for books. Some of the other ones he asked me for I could order at library. School say his reading age is 2 years above his current age and he should carry on with whatever he is doing, but I guess I could say no to specific books. Maybe what I should say is earn it by helping out/ selling other books etc.

DS2 had a toenail surgery - just a small bit off. I had to buy the tubigrip because nhs don't supply it, and I couldn't get the dressings to stay in place. £3. Actually I could ask the doctors about this as it is pretty impossible to get it to stay on without tubigrip and he needs it dressing for a long time.

Oooh I've sorted the teenage gift problem. If I use my sh0pand scan vouchers for a well known sports shop I can get a tshirt or baseball cap for free/ a few pounds. I've then just put in some sweets as well.

Income

We have had a lot more airbnb, and we are making about what we had with the lodger here. 
I have an enqiry for a student for 2 weeks of the summer. It is perfect timing as it is when my kids want to go to football camp, and the relative who was going to play with them has got a job, so I can do a bit of work whilst they are there. Hopefully it will get booked.
I have a few new income ideas. Two courses I want to develop and some other ideas. I need to put time towards this, but only when I am feeling up to it.

So it looks like my to do list is:

Do weight baring exercise at home
don't feel guilty about the purchases - put them into the 'birthday money' category.
get midweek grocery delivery pass for cheaper supermarket and do a substantial top up at ald1.
change phone contracts
speak to lady with new horse to see if we can barter a riding lesson here and there.
set up avc
set up regular saving for retirement
set up regular saving for travel