Tightening the belts for unpaid leave

[Deleted User]

@Sarahwithlove - yes, I think the idea would be to get a place with a couple of holiday cottages which DH could run and then he would do something else on the side (or contract work for his current employer) and I could def work remotely as we have a lot of people who do that.

@Blackcats - thank you.  It has been a bit of a whirlwind year!

So, I literally looked a the sky the other day and said "I surrender" on the house thing.  As I just don't have the energy.  Then, last night a friend messaged me to say that her husband's parents are putting their house on market next week and were we interested.  She sent me some pics and we did a drive by today and it could be a go-er.  It is on a busy road however.  But they won't complete until 1 Dec as they are having a wing built for them at my friend's house and it won't be finished until then.  So she has told the agent that we have to be first through the door.  So there's that.  Then I just got a call from the agent who showed us the amazing property last week but which was withdrawn as the house the owners wanted to buy went to someone else.  Anyway, he was asking if we were under offer on anything else as he had had a call from those people asking if we were still interested as they are looking at something else.  He's said not to get hopes up and to crack on with our search but I suppose it could happen.  It would be us maxed out with all our mortgage and savings (bar about 18k) but it is a new build and won't need anything doing to it for years - it's also top spec and has 4 bedrooms and we could use the garage as a playroom (without converting it for the moment!) and it has a HUGE outbuilding which has heating/lighting etc so DH can use that to play his guitars and drums in (and no neighbours on that side, just fields so wouldn't annoy anyone).  And we figure that we would just downsize when older if our pensions weren't enough.  It would be a truly beautiful place for our boys to grow up.  The master bedroom is also SO gorgeous - HUGE, with a run of fitted wardrobes, balcony overlooking fields and a cracking en-suite.  But it probably won't happen!!!

enthusiasticsaver

We moved from the South East to the West Country more than 30 years ago and it was the best thing we ever did. Much nicer environment to bring up our children, more affordable housing and just a better life than we had in the busy outskirts of London. However we had no family or friends down here and now my mum is older and living 250 miles away that is hard. At the time my Dad was alive and they were leading busy lives but things change. We would still do it again but we were luckier than most in that my husband had a job to go to, the moving expenses were all paid and a salary comparable to other parts of the country. If you can work remotely you are laughing but prices are rising rapidly down here and properties going quickly as many people are doing what you are considering. Now they know they can work from home they figure it might as well be in the West Country or some other idyllic rural place rather than an expensive busy city. 

Blackcats

The two lifestyle options you describe really put you at a crossroads or sliding doors moment in your life.  A really big move to a new area, mortgage free, different income source for OH or stay in your current area near family and friends with a maxed out mortgage.
important but difficult choices.

Buffythedebtslayer

I can't offer any advice, but I LOVE Sliding doors, one of my absolute FAVOURITE films. 

XX

Blackcats

Buffy - it's one of my favourites too and I still enjoy it even though I know what's going to happen. 

[Deleted User]

@enthusiasticsaver - yes, that must be hard.  We don't think we can make the move until next year anyway so guess we will have to see where we end up.

@Blackcats - I know, it's quite a scary choice.  If we stay here, we will have a huge mortgage, but we both have decent jobs.  I don't think DH would get as good a job if we moved.  He may be able to work remotely/do some contract work but we are not sure.  And it would also rule out my ever going back to doing what I did pre-kids (which we decided was a good safety blanket if ever we got into financial dire straits) as I would need to be physically here to do so.  BUT we would likely be mortgage free.

@Buffythedebtslayer - I love that movie too!

We're seeing friends' parents in laws house tomorrow or thursday.  But I suspect busy road will make it a no for DH.  Not heard anything further re the lovely house.  And we've not been able to stop talking about "what if we get it" all weekend.  Which is just disappointing.

Shiny new budget yesterday and spent minimal on the "big shop" as we had loads in freezer.  Plus I am back on WW and so we are not buying (and have not bought) any booze and no rubbish.  Going to try to stick to it until 9 July when out for someone's birthday as I'm not due to be out (for lunch or dinner) before then.  NSD today but tomorrow I need some raspberries, potato waffles and yoghurts for DC1 nursery days - should be minimal however.

[Deleted User]

So much for yesterday being a NSD, DC1 needed nappies - £19 - we are trying to potty train but he's just not ready so we spend a fortune in nappies for two kids!  Then, because all our stuff is in boxes between the flat and storage, we can't find our kitchen scales and need some.  So ordered some of those at £11.99.

Cat has his booster jab at lunchtime but he is on vac for life so free.  Going to see the friend's parents in laws house at lunchtime.

Need some raspberries for DC1 plus potato waffles and a gift/card for his key worker who is leaving nursery on Thursday.

Just had a message from the agent re the lovely house saying "morning, keep your phone on today!".  Arghhhh, my nerves won't take it!

Sarahwithlove

Fingers crossed you here back about the house. 

rdone

I feel like I'm waiting with baited breath for the house update!  Sending all the positive vibes to you

We're also going through a stressful house sale/purchase situation at the moment so I feel your pain/frustration/upset/joy.

[Deleted User]

@Sarahwithlove @rdone thank you

We are only bl**dy well under offer - ARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!  What a day!  OMG though it is now pretty much every penny we have to our names plus all the borrowing we can get (still only 54% LTV though so there is some comfort in that) but it is such a wonderful house and will be such a lovely home for our DC.  I must admit to being a BIT scared and we are going back to see it again, hopefully friday, but we have a plan to start building the savings pot back up again once we've purchased.  It probably does mean we can't afford a third child, but we weren't sure if we wanted one anyway and even whether we could have one (I'm almost 43).  Though my boss did say that I could potentially increase my hours to FT (I'm 28 a week) if I wanted.  But anyway, we shall see.  We said we weren't going to have that conversation until October and tbh, DH has never been keen on a third, and I am worried re disabilities/going through a third pregnancy/complications etc so it was likely to have been a decision in the negative anyway.

@rdone sorry you are having a stressy time - how close are you?

Wasn't a NSD, spent £14.35 on sarnie for DH (as we were viewing a different house, as we hadn't got the call then so he couldn't come home for lunch, I was good and waited until I got back and had a chicken breast with cajun spices around 230!), chocs and card for nursery worker, raspberries and pack of 4x squeezy yogs for DC1 nursery but that will take him into middle of week after next.

I've told DH we now definitely have to rein it in a bit for a while, at least until the end of the year.  He has "breakfast club" tomorrow and then I've said that's it, we are not going to eat out much this month and he is to stop buying coffees.  He is out Fri 2nd but that's with work/clients so I think it's paid for.  We are out 9 July for a friend's birthday but should be relatively cheap night out as not eating out.  We are also going to do our usual WW in the week but then use what's in the cupboard on weekends instead of getting take out/fancy stuff from supermarket (we have loads of things like jars of lloyd grossman pasta sauce in cupboards which need to be eaten).  DH seems to be on board with this, esp as he's now thinking we are going to have to pack up so it's less to move.  Looking like completion 26 August - eek!!!!!!