Pocket Money Responsibility

Savvy_Sue

Yes, I agree that even a two year gap may be too large to treat two children the same: we changed the way ours were treated when they got to secondary school and could get a bank account with a debit card. 

And once ours had that debit card, and the allowance going into their accounts, it was their responsibility to withdraw any cash they needed. There was no way I wanted to be told at 10pm on a Sunday night "I need £10 for my bus pass!". 

Spendless

I was also going to query about treating the two the same. given that the eldest is already at Secondary school and more likely to start having a teenage social life at some point whereas your younger one I'm guessing is a year or two away from this.
It was pointess giving my 2 money until they started going out and about because all they would do is wait until pocket money day and blow it all, espeically DS on a computer game.  

Re the cookies, you'll probably not be able to put an old head on young shoulders with this one. It'll be part of an 'in-thing' that her and mates do together on a set day, even if you could feed the whole class with the same money school just charges for one. If you have your 25p ones in anyway, just point to the cupboard say 'take one with you' or leave her to fund the school ones out of her allowance.  

TBagpuss

I'd suggest an allowance for the older one.
What my parents did for me and  my siblings as each of us moved up to secondary school, was to replace pocket money with a 'clothing allowance'  
We got it once every 3 months, and it was for everything except school uniforms (including 1 pair of school shoes, and a suitable coat) 
Obviouly you can decide what is and isn't covered, the key is to be clear at the outset and explain that she needs to decide for herself what she spends it on, but that there won';t be any extra so when it's gone, it's gone 
I think all of us made mistakes - but it does teach you to budget and you can learn from your mistakes without getting into too much difficulties. If you spend the whole lot at the beginning of the quarter on an expensive hair cut, or specific piece of clothing, then you're free to do that, but it means that you then can't afford anything else much.

As the parent, you need to find a suitable figure that is enough that they can buy a reasonable amount of stuff, but not so much that they don't need to budget at all, and then sit tight and not give in if they blue it all early on and are pestering you to make up the shortfall.
With a two year age difference I wouldn't treat them the same - it's liable to upset the order one who is likely to feel it is unfair that her sister gets everything 2 years earlier than she did, (which it is) and at those ages there is a big difference in levels of maturity and understanding, for most children. 

JGB1955

When my children became teenagers we gave them their Child Benefit.  That had to cover all expenditure other than school uniform.  It seemed to work OK.

pjcox2005

I would suggest that if you trying to get kids to make decisions about money then you set out the amount, what it's for and then have to stand back. For example, you may see it as a waste to buy a more expensive cookie but if for now that's what they want as they get to do it with friends then that's fine. As someone mentioned at some point they'll want something bigger and then they'll realise they need to cut back on those frivolous expenditure items but I think they have to do it with this rather than you saying what's an acceptable purchase or not.

thepurplepixie

My figures wouldn't be helpful as well out of date but this is what I did:
1. At 11 got them a bank account with a debit card
2. Worked out what a basic school lunch would cost, not drinks puds etc x by 20
3.  Worked out a figure for "fun" clothes, not essentials like uniform, school shoes, underwear and divided by 12
4.  Decided on a monthly figure for pocketmoney
Added that up and paid it into their account.  The deal was if they over spent there was bread, butter, cheese, marmite in the cupboard so they could make a lunch, if they wanted expensive cookies it came out of pocket money.  They all made mistakes, all had a month or two where they ran out of money but they quickly realised they could save for the expensive console game or Levi's (rather than the Primark ones I'd buy) and made decisions about how to save/spend.  There was always the makings of sandwiches in the cupboard and they could take squash instead of buying drinks at school, I figure that was the sort of thing an adult does if they want to save a bit more cash.

The big thing is don't bale them out when they get it wrong.  Mine have done OK, all managed finances well at uni, all bought houses in their 20s, well 2 are still in their 20s.  All have priorities, with one he likes nice cars, one is a traveller to saves for holidays but the big thing is they know how to do it.

Don't know if I was just lucky but it seemed to work and the thing I loved was not being asked for the Levi's instead of Primark, they had to make those choices not me.

thepurplepixie

Missed your post Maman, we seem to have done much the same.

maman

thepurplepixie said:

Missed your post Maman, we seem to have done much the same.

Yes! My girls were at school before the days of prepaid cards for lunches and it was such a joy not to scrabble around for cash every morning. That was their job.😁

Apintplease

We gave our daughter the Family allowance when she was 13 - it was £64 every 4 weeks 

She also had her free bus pass

We bought her school uniform, her school shoes, her school needs, plus her good shoes and coat and of course the basics

She was welcome to carry on using the family toiletries , the general soap, deodorant, shampoo etc that was bought for me and her dad 

She had packed lunch for school days, snacks also available in doors to help herself too

Her money was for everything else. She wanted make up - she paid for it. A new skirt or dress - out of her money. Out to the cinema or bowling  - down to her. Top up for her phone  -yep - out of her money. We of course treated her at Christmas and Birthday and if she had good exam results

This was 20 years ago, not even I had £64 a month pin money lol

Took her about 2 months to learn to budget

She never went without a thing tbh. If she ran short of money and wanted a tenner to go out, she knew she had to work for it. usual task was washing all the kitchen cupboards down , or dusting and hoovering the hall stairs and landing and washing the skirting, Jobs that weren't heavy, weren't slave labour, but took her about 2 hours without killing her or her ringing SS to report us for slave labour

She's now doing the same with her son

When girls become teens they like to experiment and they like to keep up with their friends and they need a bit of independence . At that age I had a paper round to cover me, then aged 14 a Saturday job in Woolies as well as the paper round, but they were different times and the laws about children working weren't so strict as they are now