Is my ex partner entitled to half.my sons rent?

pickledonionspaceraider

Mojisola said:

bosrebel said:

Hi , my ex and I own a property together,  we still live in same house until its sold..my son gives me rent ..(its not his son)... hes demanding half his rent. Do I have to pay it? 

Stop calling it rent - your son isn't your lodger or your tenant.

He's a member of your household and paying you 'keep' (or whatever a contribution to household bills is called in your area).

Think you hit the nail on the head where you contradict yourself with the bit in bold.
You are splitting hairs so you can have a swipe at someone insinuating that the OP is treating her son as 'lesser than' - and then you totally contradict yourself, and then offer no advice. 

OP - I really do not know with this one - can pretty much see both sides

74jax

bosrebel said:

Hi , my ex and I own a property together,  we still live in same house until its sold..my son gives me rent ..(its not his son)... hes demanding half his rent. Do I have to pay it? 

I personally don't think he's being unreasonable. 
You each own half the house but you have someone else staying so taking up 2/3rds. 
I know when my DD rented with a friend. When their boyfriend moved in they did thirds instead of half.  And in that case they shared a bedroom, in your case your son will be taking up a whole other room. 

maman

I, too, can see why the ex should be miffed. The adult son is paying to live there so bills are shared three ways . It's hardly fair that the ex pays half and the others a quarter each. Obviously we don't know the size of the young man's contribution (he may not earn much) but whatever it is should reduce the ex's contribution a bit.

Far from controlling, it could be said that OP is taking advantage by deciding that the son's contribution is all hers in a house that she only half owns.

I think the cooking and cleaning is a red herring. That's OP's choice. She doesn't have to do that or the son could do other chores to balance it off. 

Savvy_Sue

I think a fair bit depends on what the current / previous financial arrangements are between the OP and the ex. Presumably they were agreed in some way, and the ex may wish to revisit this. 

The language you use suggests that friendly discussion is not on the cards, which is a shame because that's obviously the best solution. And in an ideal world I'd want to involve all the adults. 

Does your ex know how much your son is paying, and how you worked it out? 

You say you're living in the same house 'until it's sold'. What's the timescale for that? If it's imminent, then how much is it worth to keep the peace? or is that just the thin end of the wedge?

bosrebel

I guess i would have felt more reasonable if the ex had not decided without agreement or discussion to commandeer the largest room in the property (our lounge) for his sole use,  so me and my son cannot use the lounge anymore. 

74jax

bosrebel said:

I guess i would have felt more reasonable if the ex had not decided without agreement or discussion to commandeer the largest room in the property (our lounge) for his sole use,  so me and my son cannot use the lounge anymore. 

Maybe, but you do have 2 bedrooms (I think). 
Just hope you sell soon. 

suejb2

Putting the spin on things. Would you want some of the money if your soon to be ex had a relative paying keep/ rent/ charges?

maman

suejb2 said:

Putting the spin on things. Would you want some of the money if your soon to be ex had a relative paying keep/ rent/ charges?

Yes, good to look at it from the other point of view. I don't think it needs to be half the money in hard cash (I don't think we know how the bills are physically paid) but it's the principle of 3 adults living in a house where 1 pays half the bills and the other two only pay a quarter each. Proportions need to be adjusted to take account of how much the young man contributes and the fact that I wouldn't expect him to contribute to the mortgage just utilities, council tax, family TV package, broadband that sort of thing.

TBagpuss

work out what the cost of your son's food is and add a bit for cooking and cleaning. Anything over that, give your husband half as that's the element which is rent, not payment for food.

If his share of the food is more than he pays then you owe your ex nothing,