Nervous about moving

lm1981

The current house I am in we have a small mortgage and have done the house up over decent years so everything is high spec. The only problem is it’s to small for us , we can get by but we feel like we are living on top of each other.

we are due to move to a older house which is double the size and huge potential to make changes etc , it needs work doing though but is liveable for now...just.

I am petrified at thought of moving now it’s coming to it due to covid situation. I feel scared about leaving a house that is easy, updated etc  to go to somewhere where requires work over long term, could be colder as an older house especially with a young child and wife...if it where just me I’d rough it out etc 

hazyjo

Have you expressed your concerns to your wife?

Are you generally a nervous person or worrier? Think back to major events in your life. Were you more excited or nervous than filled with doubt?

Perhaps you just feel a bit like the works and responsibility will fall on your shoulders.

You've already said the house is too small. If it's too small now, it's only going to feel smaller in time, not bigger.

Try to be honest with your missus about your worries. Have you talked about timescales and budgets? It's an important conversation. Might relieve the pressure.

GDB2222

COVID-19 may have an effect on property prices. It may affect your earnings. It may make it awkward to get work done. Which aspect is bothering you particularly?

Clearly, some people relish getting building work done, whilst others hate it. Which are you? We live in a draughty old house and we just wear pullovers! It’s not the end of the world, and we’re not roughing it.

ss2020jd

It’s natural to be apprehensive with all that’s going on at the moment and all the uncertainty around everything. Does you wife share your concerns?

You say you are currently on top of one another. This seems to be a major issue that has affected many people during lockdown, when they are finding that in close quarters the space really matters. So for that aspect alone it sounds like you would be making an improvement.

Does the house have insulation? What type of windows are there? Does it have central heating? If you are able to start with improving the practical things first that may help.  I have lived in older houses and once the heating was on they were no colder than anywhere else but it’s true that heating can escape a little more so bills could be higher.

it sounds like you have already worked on your current house to get it to the standard you love now so you have some experience of what is involved. 

Do you have a good builder lined up and a full picture of what needs to be done from a survey? 

It’s always daunting doing this kind of thing unless you have a passion for it but in general I have found once it is done it is worth it and all the stress is usually a distant memory. However, if you really feel that the stress will add too much pressure in an already stressful time you need to carefully decide whether it that will outweigh the stress of staying where you are.

AnotherJoe

lm1981 said:

The current house I am in we have a small mortgage and have done the house up over decent years so everything is high spec. The only problem is it’s to small for us , we can get by but we feel like we are living on top of each other.

we are due to move to a older house which is double the size and huge potential to make changes etc , it needs work doing though but is liveable for now...just.

I am petrified at thought of moving now it’s coming to it due to covid situation. I feel scared about leaving a house that is easy, updated etc  to go to somewhere where requires work over long term, could be colder as an older house especially with a young child and wife...if it where just me I’d rough it out etc 

I dont doubtyou are nervous. However what's that got to do with Covid? Is it job security and bigger mortgage? If not are you laying your fears onto the nearest label?

Mickey666

It’s not necessarily a bad thing to be nervous, especially if it helps concentrate the mind.   I’ve never been particularly nervous about moving house per se but I have been nervous about the financial implications, which made me scrutinise everything - including contingencies - to triple-check I could really afford the risk.   Probably my riskiest move was a big step up a few months after our first-born arrived going from no mortgage to a huge mortgage for a new house without selling the existing one, then commissioning a large extension on the new house.  Ok, all that was under my control, but my employer going into administration a month after the extension works started was most certainly not.  Fortunately my spreadsheet modelling stood up to the test, but it was an, er, ‘exciting’ time!

Davesnave

Unless your wife is particularly used to being cosseted she will be fine, assuming she's on board with the realities of getting more space at the expense of less immediate comfort. It's a compromise millions have made before you. Children won't care about the less modern house or moving, so long as you don't make a habit of it.

I agree with doing your best to make insulation and heating a priority, but even in a 'heat leaky' house it's possible to stay comfortable in a couple of rooms over winter. When we were renovating a few years back, there was no loft insulation, gaping holes in walls and ceilings missing, but it wasn't as awful as we'd feared. You won't ward off Covid by staying in an overheated box anyway; get out there and exercise or start some DIY, eat well and keep your immune systems as strong as they can be!

youth_leader

I do feel for you, my late husband and I took on a big renovation and we did it all wrong.  I now know the best way to renovate is from the roof downwards, ie roof, loft and gutters, then windows, then heating.   If you make the envelope of the house watertight everything else follows.   We didn't plan and when my Mum left me some money, instead of having the roof replaced, I bought an Aga, wrong decision!   

If you and your wife can sit down and make a ten year plan, you can work towards it together saving for each job and plan for when it can be done.  Make sure you also save for holidays to make those special memories with your child, my poor kids really missed out because of our lack of planning.

lm1981

Thanks for all replies.

current house is 16 years old and we have replaced bathrooms , kitchen , doors etc so nothing really left to do, we have outgrown it size wise. While we could put a conservatory on it would take up half garden which is already north facing so doesn’t feel worth it.

house we are planning to move to is 85 years old. Has upvc windows installed , cavity wall insulation , survey came back with no damp issues (slate DPC already installed). It’s a huge house. The roof will need replacing in next decade or so. I am just worried about coping with an old house for example I have read you can get mold on walls that have furniture against them ( I wouldn’t even think of this in a new build), just feel a bit drained with it all after doing up the current house(paid for trades so didn’t do it myself) , feels like we are starting again in many aspects 

[Deleted User]

You are starting again  -  that's the way it is when you move house  -  it's a totally different project, but if this will be your home for the next decade or more you can take your time and see to each individual job/project/task over a number of years - enjoy the ride instead of seeing it as a rush to do it all in x number of years etc.

Also, the damp issue you mention don't automatically come with an older house - they are usually down to the house occupant habits rather than the structure.

hazyjo

So it's 1930s? They're usually pretty solidly built. So long as it's adequately ventilated, it will hopefully be okay. Make sure you open windows if drying washing indoors.