Building towards a complete life overhaul....might take a while but determined to do it

enthusiasticsaver

So sorry about your family members. I would also be tempted to get signed off with stress so you can self isolate before Christmas and visit your parents. 

MeandO

So sorry to hear about your Dad's brother MT. It's really hard hearing your parents struggling when you're on the other end of the phone so far away isn't it,  I completely understand how horrible that is. I echo what others said and try and isolate in time to go home to your parents. I wish I could do the same this year, but with DS still at school and going to his Dad's now and then it's just not possible. We won't be seeing them this Christmas unfortunately, for their sakes.

Karonher

I would go along with self isolating to get home for Christmas. It sounds like you have more than enough grounds with work being the way that it is.

LondonLiz

Dropping in to say sorry to hear about your family and a reminder that if you only need a week off work for self isolating then you can self certify for that length of time and don't need a doctors cert.

Also re the night sweats, not sure if you are on HRT but I can swear by it as a cure.  I know some people are not keen on it but for me it's absolutely worth it for the benefits. The night sweats were pretty much the only unpleasant symptom I had but they were really affecting my life due to not getting proper sleep.  (Well I did also have have a shorter fuse/grumpiness and excessive sentimentality over things that would normally never bother me e.g. sad TV programmes and anything involving cute animals!).  A friend swears by a cooling gel mattress topper & pillow she bought but I never tried that option - I did put my pillow slip and sheet in the fridge before bed a few times though!

Funnily, we are in similar situations - I live alone after many years of singleness & not rushing for a relationships, have also lost the enthusiasm for my career and have recently left a job with nothing to go to.  Unlike you I don't have a grand plan yet, nor a decent occupational pension to look forward too,  but reading dairies like yours are certainly helpful for inspiration and a bit of courage to make a change. 

I hope everyone in the family don't get it badly and you get to see your parents at Christmas.

Sarahwithlove

I agree with everyone else I would get the doctor to sign you off with stress and go home for Xmas. I hope the rest of your family are OK and pull through the covid situation 

mumblingtaff

Thank you so much everyone - your thoughts are very much appreciated when I'm alone and things are difficult.
Thank you too LondonLiz - we do sound like we're in similar situations - its scary but exciting at the same time. What are you up to now? And thank you for the menopause advice - unfortunately I can't take conventional HRT but am in the process of investigating alternatives. Its very up and down at the moment - sometimes fine, other times I could happily murder someone.


So. I'm happy to report a much better day today - I'd made my mind up to ask for a day's personal leave for tomorrow so I could drive down and sit in the garden for an hour or two and just cheer them up for a short while. Plucked up the courage to ask and was told that I could have one day off but if tomorrow was it I would have to take unpaid leave for the funeral if I went - they're such caring compassionate folks! Thought that would have to do - I've never taken a day off ever apart from having to have half a day off to have a covid test and then I was back in work the following afternoon when the result came back.
Anyway, rang home this evening and the parents are a bit brighter today and seem much more in control and were actually planning a little isolated trip out to the seaside to look at the sea from the car tomorrow. Have texted work and told them I'd be in as normal tomorrow and will maybe go on the weekend or whenever the funeral is - again not a proper visit but a frozen hello in the garden for a hour or two. Just can't wait to leave work now - the funny thing is that now I know I'm going and this family crisis has happened I just don't care anymore - I'll do my job but sod the rest of them and caring about what they think anymore. It's a bit of a relief.

Have walked the dog twice and made some proper tea and got things ready for tomorrow - I actually feel quite energetic considering its 9pm on a Monday night!

On a  completely different note - I've been listening to The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman and am really enjoying it. Would really recommend it if anyone fancies a bit of well written escapism.

mumblingtaff

Just a quick one - a busy but ok day - rescued my boss a few times so I felt quietly smug.... Bad really but I can't help it!
Parents seem a bit brighter and have run a few errands today - glad they're getting out but being really really careful. Good for them to think about something else.
I'm not doing any work tonight - just watching telly, walked the dog twice and having a potter.
Will hopefully let the week carry on as today did - 8 more get ups.......

mumblingtaff

Well another week done....
And another eventful one at that. Work was the usual trial but I did manage to get virtually everything done that needed to be done and lots of stuff for next week too. We're now finishing on Thursday rather than Friday but have to make up the time in the new term with two INSETs after school and an extra teaching day - nobody wants it as we were only working until lunchtime on Friday but its out of our hands....
My colleague has now gone on long term sick as predicted - another one bites the dust - its sad because he's a good bloke and did a good job.
Anyway, enough of work, its the weekend and all I have to do tomorrow is mark a set of tests. Not too taxing.

Have spoken at length to my family today and we've decided that I won't go home at all for Xmas - where they live is a real COVID hotspot and understandably they're petrified after my uncle died last week. I wanted to go to the funeral - just drive there and back in a day and not go into my parent's house but dad has very firmly said that I shouldn't as its an 8 hour round trip usually and with me being in tier 3 he doesn't think its right. I have to respect his wishes I suppose.
Mum is upset about Xmas but Dad has led on the decision - I suggested going at New Year as it gives me a longer time to isolate before seeing them but he's adamant that everyone should just stay home and stay safe. He's the boss. It will be a very strange one with just me and the dog but I'm not a big Xmas fan and do it for the family (they usually all come to me for 4 days). I'm sure I'll survive - its just a day. Things will be strange for everyone this year. We're all in the same boat - I just wish that others would take the rules more seriously.  8 of my extended family now have COVID (all in Wales) and one has died. I find it all very maddening when people seem to not have a care in the world. Rant over....

More bad news - my elderly neighbour that I try to help out had a fall in the night last night and I found am ambulance outside his house this morning when I walked the dog. He'd been on the floor all night, poor thing. He couldn't get to his phone and it was only when another neighbour called round this morning with something that he realised something was wrong. I managed to speak to him as they put him in the ambulance and he was lucid but very tired, frail and obviously in pain. He's since texted me from the hospital to say thank you for helping but I think he'll be in for some time judging by the state of him this morning. He's having an awful time at the moment - its his dad's funeral on Friday too. At least I'm not working now and can go to support him by being outside the house etc if its still going on.

Right, that's all the depressing stuff out of the way - sorry for being a misery!
My school has been chosen for a fast turnaround Covid test trial and needed volunteers to trial the system so I had mine done yesterday. Results were texted to me within 30 mins - negative thankfully - but having researched it a bit I'm not sure how much faith I'd put in it - its apparently only between 50-70% accurate, I have to be tested twice a week if I want to carry on with it. May as well I suppose.

Anyway, I've been busy today and have got lots done including 2 big dog walks (45 mins at least each), been to the gym and ran 6km and did 20 mins rowing, done the grocery shopping (didn't need much so did it locally), hoovered and dusted the whole house, changed the bed, 2 loads of washing, cleaned the front door (dog makes it mucky), dropped more stuff off at the charity shop, had a quick sunbed for psoriasis patches, spoken to mum and dad for an hour and given the kitchen a really good clean.
Quite tired now I've finally sat down!
Going to have a bit of a rest for a bit and watch some telly before making tea.
Its payday on Tuesday and my budgets have only just lasted - I put lots away in savings this month and with all of the stress have spent a bit more than I'd hoped (silly unnecessary things that just add up) but its not the end of the world there was a contingency that I had hoped to save too but never mind.

Might do a bit of browsing houses on line later to keep myself motivated, Its been a b*gger of a month!

mumblingtaff

Morning all!
Its absolutely chucking it down here! Still as dark as the middle of the night too, even though its 8am. It'll be a soggy doggy day today. Never mind - at least its a day off.
I was going to go for a run with the dog but if the rain continues as it is at the moment we might have to abandon that for a couple of shorter walks instead.
Need to wrap the presents ready for posting home tomorrow and I'm debating whether or not to put up the Xmas tree - feels a bit weird if there's just me but it might cheer the house up a bit. There's also the hour or two of schoolwork that needs doing and the bathrooms need a good scrub - won't take long though.
Going to go around each room in the house and try to look at it from the view of a potential buyer and write a list of all the small things that you tend to ignore when its your house and make a plan for getting them sorted - I've done a huge sort out of anything that I don't need over the past month or so and cleared out lots of stuff to the charity shop or tip so I'm now on the little jobs phase of getting the house ready. I can do some of them over the Xmas holidays and make a plan for getting some help (e.g. a handyman) for things that are beyond me.
Also need to investigate how to get the house valued in the new year - I've never bought or sold a house really before - this house was a new build and I just had to wait for it to be ready then move in from a rented house almost 20 years ago so its all a bit new to me. Lots to think about......

joedenise

I'd say get in at least 3 estate agents for a valuation.  When we sold our house I wanted to go for the middle valuation but DH decided it would be best to go for the highest as we could drop the price if necessary.  The problem with that is you just don't get the people through the door; so I would say definitely don't go with the highest estimate!

You may be lucky and they all value at around the same level in which case you can just go with the agency with the lowest charges or the person you think is the friendliest.