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House sales keep falling through - Am I the problem?

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Hello! I have been house hunting since June, in July I found a property that ticked all my boxes (period cottage, near family, garden). I fell head over heels in love with this home, I offered £390k cash, it was on the market at £399k. This was accepted and the conveyancing process started. Unfortunately, 5 weeks into the process the surveyor told us the thatch needed total replacement which would have cost around £25k. I was not happy but loved the house and was willing to carry on buying it and would replace it at my own cost. However, 10 weeks in we received the searches and despite the sellers ticking 'no' on the law society form when asked if they knew of any local planning applications, it turned out there was permission for 203 houses to be built on the field opposite, along with a nursery, care home and a warehouse, the road layout infront of the cottage was also changing and traffic lights are going to be put in.
I pulled out, one because the agent and the sellers tried to lie about this, and two, because i am not buying a cottage to have a huge housing estate and warehouses on my doorstep with lorries constantly driving past.
A few weeks later I found house number two, another thatch cottage but atleast this one was in a beautiful village with no planning applications/permissions other than people wanting to cut down trees or hedges. All was going well and a week before exchange we received a devastating survey report... although I am a cash buyer I asked for a valuation as I wanted to know for a future resale and the surveyor valued it at £0, it was unmortgageable due to huge structural issues. The front render needed total replacement, the 17th century beams were rotten and infested with woodworm, polystyrene in the floors creating huge fire risk, both bathrooms ill-fitted and leaking into the downstairs causing more damp, and so much more. This coupled with the fact the garden needed a total overhaul I just felt as though it would be too much work. I went to the agent and asked for a meeting with him and the sellers to see if we could discuss a way forward as i loved the cottage, but I was totally ghosted! They didn't want anything to do with me anymore so I pulled out.
I am now searching for house 3 and feeling totally disheartened. I am 29 and single and just want a nice house for myself and my dog, yet I seem to choose ones with major issues! I am aware I am looking for an older property which comes with problems but each time I view them, I am told nothing will come up on the survey and they need no work. I can't sleep at night through fear of each property falling through. I have had a really rough divorce where my husband cheated on me and then kicked me out the house with the dog, I lost my home over night and just want a new one.
Am I being problematic by pulling out of these sales? Do I need to just suck it up and realise I will need to do work on these places? I didn't mind a project but need to know this upfront. Each time I tell the agent to just be honest with me so I can assess the situation before starting the conveyancing process and getting my heart broken again.
I have found a third house and it seems too good to be true, in one of the nicest villages in the county, it is 19th century so old but not as old as what i was previously looking at, and it looks like its undergone total renovation a few years ago. But I am terrified of starting the buying process again... I seem to be spending all my money on wasted surveys (although a damn good investment) and solicitor fees.
Is this normal? I can't sleep at night. The buying process started out so fun and now is wrecking havoc on my mental health whilst I try and deal with divorce. Why can't agents just be honest with me and tell me what needs doing and why previous sales fell through?
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Comments

  • eidand
    eidand Posts: 1,023 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    if you're only looking at older properties, surely you'll need to accept they will all have some issues and they will cost a bit to fix.
    It sounds to me like you need to research the properties a bit more. Planning permission issues you can find out about yourself by looking at council's portal.
    At the end of the day, I'd choose a area, find a house that ticks the boxes, be prepared to pay a bit to do it up. If a survey uncovers anything horrendous reduce the offer to match that and see what happens. There is no point in running away at the first sign of trouble. It will get expensive very quickly!

  • Older houses are always more likely to have issues. You just have to keep persevering. 

    With regards to the first property, just remember that any house you buy could always have planning permission granted in the future. This would actually be worse as could devalue your property, at least if you know about things being built you can offer accordingly. 
  • pbhb
    pbhb Posts: 124 Forumite
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Posts
    eidand said:
    if you're only looking at older properties, surely you'll need to accept they will all have some issues and they will cost a bit to fix.
    It sounds to me like you need to research the properties a bit more. Planning permission issues you can find out about yourself by looking at council's portal.
    At the end of the day, I'd choose a area, find a house that ticks the boxes, be prepared to pay a bit to do it up. If a survey uncovers anything horrendous reduce the offer to match that and see what happens. There is no point in running away at the first sign of trouble. It will get expensive very quickly!

    First house sale I went in blind, I am a first time buyer and didn't know what the whole process entailed. The second sale I did all the research on planning etc beforehand before even viewing it. I spoke to the agent when viewing and asked him to be open and honest about the work that needs doing and he promised he would, he told me the electrics and heating system needed an overhaul, I was okay with this and offered a price with this in consideration. Then when I got the survey back I was totally shocked at the findings. I wanted to proceed with the sale and renegotiate price but when I told the agent the issues, he ghosted me and wouldn't have a conversation with me which is why I pulled out
  • Thrugelmir
    Thrugelmir Posts: 89,546 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    If you wish to live in a chocolate box thatched cottage then expect there to be issues. Surveys are part and parcel of the territory
  • eidand
    eidand Posts: 1,023 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    pbhb said:
    eidand said:
    if you're only looking at older properties, surely you'll need to accept they will all have some issues and they will cost a bit to fix.
    It sounds to me like you need to research the properties a bit more. Planning permission issues you can find out about yourself by looking at council's portal.
    At the end of the day, I'd choose a area, find a house that ticks the boxes, be prepared to pay a bit to do it up. If a survey uncovers anything horrendous reduce the offer to match that and see what happens. There is no point in running away at the first sign of trouble. It will get expensive very quickly!

    First house sale I went in blind, I am a first time buyer and didn't know what the whole process entailed. The second sale I did all the research on planning etc beforehand before even viewing it. I spoke to the agent when viewing and asked him to be open and honest about the work that needs doing and he promised he would, he told me the electrics and heating system needed an overhaul, I was okay with this and offered a price with this in consideration. Then when I got the survey back I was totally shocked at the findings. I wanted to proceed with the sale and renegotiate price but when I told the agent the issues, he ghosted me and wouldn't have a conversation with me which is why I pulled out
    I find that a lot of FTBs get scared too easily when they read a survey. It might help to have a phone conversation with the surveyor and ask them to explain the results. Sometimes things really aren't that bad, they just need to cover their back sides.
  • pbhb
    pbhb Posts: 124 Forumite
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Posts
    eidand said:
    pbhb said:
    eidand said:
    if you're only looking at older properties, surely you'll need to accept they will all have some issues and they will cost a bit to fix.
    It sounds to me like you need to research the properties a bit more. Planning permission issues you can find out about yourself by looking at council's portal.
    At the end of the day, I'd choose a area, find a house that ticks the boxes, be prepared to pay a bit to do it up. If a survey uncovers anything horrendous reduce the offer to match that and see what happens. There is no point in running away at the first sign of trouble. It will get expensive very quickly!

    First house sale I went in blind, I am a first time buyer and didn't know what the whole process entailed. The second sale I did all the research on planning etc beforehand before even viewing it. I spoke to the agent when viewing and asked him to be open and honest about the work that needs doing and he promised he would, he told me the electrics and heating system needed an overhaul, I was okay with this and offered a price with this in consideration. Then when I got the survey back I was totally shocked at the findings. I wanted to proceed with the sale and renegotiate price but when I told the agent the issues, he ghosted me and wouldn't have a conversation with me which is why I pulled out
    I find that a lot of FTBs get scared too easily when they read a survey. It might help to have a phone conversation with the surveyor and ask them to explain the results. Sometimes things really aren't that bad, they just need to cover their back sides.
    Totally agree, I spoke to the surveyor and she said costs would be around £60k and if I wanted to buy I need to renegotiate, but in the same sentence told me if it were her she wouldn't buy it as usually on these properties you uncover more problems when fixing the original. i have decided to go for a period cottage but not quite so old now haha
  • pbhb
    pbhb Posts: 124 Forumite
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Posts
    If you wish to live in a chocolate box thatched cottage then expect there to be issues. Surveys are part and parcel of the territory. 
    I agree, just wish they would be honest from the beginning and not ghost me when I tell them I want to discuss how we can still make the purchase work :( The first two cottages were 17th century, I am now looking at 19th century and my surveyor told me this is much better, so fingers crossed! 
  • pbhb
    pbhb Posts: 124 Forumite
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Posts
    Older houses are always more likely to have issues. You just have to keep persevering. 

    With regards to the first property, just remember that any house you buy could always have planning permission granted in the future. This would actually be worse as could devalue your property, at least if you know about things being built you can offer accordingly. 
    The first house sale collapse was a blessing in disguise as it made me realise I would prefer a small village rather than a larger village for this reason exactly. House number three is surrounded by a cluster of other period houses so atleast I know nothing scary will be built on the door step! I just worry about my dog and traffic haha
  • Salemicus
    Salemicus Posts: 343 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Yes, what you're going through is normal. Don't get discouraged.

    The reason agents won't be as transparent as you want is that they don't work for you, they work for the seller. They are not your friend or on your side, however much they may try and make it seem that way.
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