Please: Some questions regarding making a will

Savvy_Sue

Shylock_249 said:

If I made a Doomsday Letter (suggested to me by a friend of mine who lives 180 miles away - same age as me), listing all bank accounts, credit card numbers, standing orders, direct debits etc and placed it in a folder, along with deeds for the house etc then made the executor (solicitor) aware of where to look for it, would that be a sensible option?  I couldn't keep informing the solicitor of each change of credit card number/new bank account I've opened or ones I've cancelled.

Call it a Lifebook rather than a Doomsday Letter ... the trick will be keeping it up to date!

Shylock_249 said:

I haven't got a clue what to do if when the last one went with  a house full of chattels, filing cabinet with bank details etc etc.  The more I think about it the more stressed I become.
Any advice please?

Help will be available at the time, and you could get some now, from someone like the Association of Professional Declutterers and Organisers: APDO - if you feel overwhelmed now, might it be worth spending time and money on things now? I'm thinking you're both clearly fit and well at the moment, but would now be the time to either future-proof your home, and start PAYING for help to keep you both there, OR consider moving? You can afford to! 

I know my Dad would have liked to downsize but by the time they thought about it, he wasn't really well enough to deal with all that was involved. Not helped by Mum actively not wanting to downsize. So Mum did indeed go with a house full of chattels and a filing cabinet of bank details. She had started organising the financial side of things better, and having dealt with Dad's will hers was that much easier. She'd also started giving away some of her 'stuff' - ornaments, crockery etc - but there was still A Lot left. 

You can't take the money with you: if there isn't a younger generation to give a hand to, then a few well-chosen charity gifts could also make a massive difference, and you might be able to SEE that difference. I know that would give me a warm fuzzy feeling to counteract the feeling of stress and panic! 

naedanger

Shylock_249 said:

Thanks everyone.  I received an email from a Solicitor offering me a face to face meeting or a telephone conversation.
To answer some replies above.  I could act as an executor so could my wife.  I don't think my sisters-in-law could.  My sister could but she is two years older than me and lives 250 miles away.  My wife's mother married a second time, the sisters-in-law are products of that marriage and are aged 55 and 56.  The youngest is divorced, she has no children.  They are both in good health and one would expect them to outlive me and my wife.

Unfortunately I'm really stressing myself out regarding the pragmatics of what would happen when the last one of us goes?  Taken away in an ambulance, transferred to Hospice and die off the next day (exactly what has happened to  my friend across the road although his wife is still alive and is acting as an executor). How would the executor, let's say it's a solicitor become aware of the death?  How would he be aware of my assets, my comings and goings (council tax, electric, phone, state and (3) occupational pensions etc etc).  I know I won't be around, but I'm still running through it in my mind?
If I made a Doomsday Letter (suggested to me by a friend of mine who lives 180 miles away - same age as me), listing all bank accounts, credit card numbers, standing orders, direct debits etc and placed it in a folder, along with deeds for the house etc then made the executor (solicitor) aware of where to look for it, would that be a sensible option?  I couldn't keep informing the solicitor of each change of credit card number/new bank account I've opened or ones I've cancelled.

My sister has tried to educate me regarding Probate, unfortunately some fell on stony ground.  If I were to die with a will, would my wife simply contact all the banks, etc and claim the money?  The lady across the road said that she went to the bank with a copy of the will and a death certificate and they renamed the account into her name only.  I don't think her husband had a separate account, so she didn't have to do what me or my wife would have to do if one of us died.  She told me she had difficulty informing the phone company to change the name on the account, they were demanding copies of certain documents. They didn't have individual ISAs etc.  So, if one of us tried to (rightfully) claim the money from a building society solely in the name of the deceased could the building society demand to see a Probate Certificate, or have I got that completely wrong?

I haven't got a clue what to do if when the last one went with  a house full of chattels, filing cabinet with bank details etc etc.  The more I think about it the more stressed I become.
Any advice please?

Yes, you should keep an up to date list of all institutions that hold money of yours. It will make whoever's job it is to deal with your affairs easier. However it is not essential and you have more than enough money to ensure whoever has to deal with matters can afford professional help if necessary.

That said planning now, as you are doing, should help keep ultimate costs down. But I would not overly obsess over the detail. Make sure you appoint someone you can trust as executor and ensure they have the power to hire/fire professional help as they deem necessary. Then try and keep a file of the most important information (especially your will and power of attorney documents) in a location known by your executors and attorneys.

I think you would do well to think more about Power of Attorney documents. Supposing the last one of you and your wife lose your mental capacity years before you ultimately die. Who will ensure your money is well spent in order to keep you (and or your wife) as comfortable as you would wish in your final years. Ultimately I think you need to find someone you totally trust to look out for your best interests should such an unfortunate circumstance arise. 

Savvy_Sue

Not to alarm you, but to reinforce what naedanger says, it's not uncommon for the survivor to 'go downhill' rapidly, and even if not, they may well feel overwhelmed and struggle to cope with complex financial 'stuff'. There may be little time and less inclination to deal with such things. 

Drawingaline

If the idea of having a house full of stuff being a burden for whoever is left to deal with it, look up Swedish Death Cleaning. Horrible title for a way to declutter, organise and streamline in later years to assist the people left behind. 

pollypenny

You've mentioned a sister. Can you not name her as executor, perhaps with a solicitor. 

Shylock_249

Certainly she would know what to do having dealt with the affairs of my father (suicide/intestate) and mother (natural causes/intestate) but she is two years older than myself (74) and lives about 250 miles away.  Unfortunately she lives happily in the 19th century:  No computer, smart phone, wifi, cable TV/Satellite (they don't have gas in that part of the woods either  etc - she won't change her mind.  It would certainly assist me if she did, that way I could email her monthly with my updated bank accounts etc, etc

The thought of naming someone as Power of Attorney stresses me even more. About 5 years my brother-in-law, the one we won't name as a beneficiary, managed to persuade his mother (my wife's mother) to name him as POA.  He's 50 years old this November and has never worked.  He never had any money.  A few years ago his mother told the two daughters that £500 had been taken from her savings, the son as POA wouldn't let the daughters look into the matter.  Strangely, two weeks later he had a brand new laptop computer.  His girlfriend accessed the account too and was using it to make on-line betting.

naedanger

Shylock_249 said:

Certainly she would know what to do having dealt with the affairs of my father (suicide/intestate) and mother (natural causes/intestate) but she is two years older than myself (74) and lives about 250 miles away.  Unfortunately she lives happily in the 19th century:  No computer, smart phone, wifi, cable TV/Satellite (they don't have gas in that part of the woods either  etc - she won't change her mind.  It would certainly assist me if she did, that way I could email her monthly with my updated bank accounts etc, etc

The thought of naming someone as Power of Attorney stresses me even more. About 5 years my brother-in-law, the one we won't name as a beneficiary, managed to persuade his mother (my wife's mother) to name him as POA.  He's 50 years old this November and has never worked.  He never had any money.  A few years ago his mother told the two daughters that £500 had been taken from her savings, the son as POA wouldn't let the daughters look into the matter.  Strangely, two weeks later he had a brand new laptop computer.  His girlfriend accessed the account too and was using it to make on-line betting.

The problem is by not choosing someone to act as your attorney you could be in a very vulnerable position in future. Personally I think you should try to find someone professional (e.g. a solicitor) willing to act, if you have no-one else you can totally trust and who is likely to well outlive yourself. Of course finding a professional personal that you totally trust may not be that easy either. However it is certainly something you should be willing to pay for should the need arise.

Malthusian

Shylock_249 said:

The thought of naming someone as Power of Attorney stresses me even more. About 5 years my brother-in-law, the one we won't name as a beneficiary, managed to persuade his mother (my wife's mother) to name him as POA.  He's 50 years old this November and has never worked.  He never had any money.  A few years ago his mother told the two daughters that £500 had been taken from her savings, the son as POA wouldn't let the daughters look into the matter.  Strangely, two weeks later he had a brand new laptop computer.  His girlfriend accessed the account too and was using it to make on-line betting.

Have you reported him to the Office of the Public Guardian? As she has noticed that her savings have been stolen has she revoked the POA?

This is precisely why you should complete an LPOA naming someone you trust, as it means that if you later become more vulnerable (but without yet having lost capacity), it will be a lot harder for someone unscrupulous to come along and persuade you to appoint them as LPOA.

If she'd sorted this out earlier and named the daughters as her Attorneys, this wouldn't have happened.

Shylock_249

Malthusian said:

Shylock_249 said:

The thought of naming someone as Power of Attorney stresses me even more. About 5 years my brother-in-law, the one we won't name as a beneficiary, managed to persuade his mother (my wife's mother) to name him as POA.  He's 50 years old this November and has never worked.  He never had any money.  A few years ago his mother told the two daughters that £500 had been taken from her savings, the son as POA wouldn't let the daughters look into the matter.  Strangely, two weeks later he had a brand new laptop computer.  His girlfriend accessed the account too and was using it to make on-line betting.

Have you reported him to the Office of the Public Guardian? As she has noticed that her savings have been stolen has she revoked the POA?

This is precisely why you should complete an LPOA naming someone you trust, as it means that if you later become more vulnerable (but without yet having lost capacity), it will be a lot harder for someone unscrupulous to come along and persuade you to appoint them as LPOA.

If she'd sorted this out earlier and named the daughters as her Attorneys, this wouldn't have happened.

Thanks.  Regarding Reporting the son..... I only see my wife's family once a year on Christmas Day. Last year I was in India on Christmas Day, so the last time I saw them was 25/12/18.  The family has little conversation outside tittle-tattle and football.
The mother-in-law would have nominated her son because he lived with her and had done so since birth.  The two daughters (one married, the other divorced) live elsewhere.  The married sister doesn't own a passport and has never been abroad, her husband can't drive and is afraid to fly, but he does own a bicycle!

sammyjammy

Shylock_249 said:

Malthusian said:

Shylock_249 said:

The thought of naming someone as Power of Attorney stresses me even more. About 5 years my brother-in-law, the one we won't name as a beneficiary, managed to persuade his mother (my wife's mother) to name him as POA.  He's 50 years old this November and has never worked.  He never had any money.  A few years ago his mother told the two daughters that £500 had been taken from her savings, the son as POA wouldn't let the daughters look into the matter.  Strangely, two weeks later he had a brand new laptop computer.  His girlfriend accessed the account too and was using it to make on-line betting.

Have you reported him to the Office of the Public Guardian? As she has noticed that her savings have been stolen has she revoked the POA?

This is precisely why you should complete an LPOA naming someone you trust, as it means that if you later become more vulnerable (but without yet having lost capacity), it will be a lot harder for someone unscrupulous to come along and persuade you to appoint them as LPOA.

If she'd sorted this out earlier and named the daughters as her Attorneys, this wouldn't have happened.

Thanks.  Regarding Reporting the son..... I only see my wife's family once a year on Christmas Day. Last year I was in India on Christmas Day, so the last time I saw them was 25/12/18.  The family has little conversation outside tittle-tattle and football.
The mother-in-law would have nominated her son because he lived with her and had done so since birth.  The two daughters (one married, the other divorced) live elsewhere.  The married sister doesn't own a passport and has never been abroad, her husband can't drive and is afraid to fly, but he does own a bicycle!

Don't worry, you're not likely to see them this year either