I've really messed up

AskAsk

Aranyani said:

AskAsk said:

Aranyani said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

AskAsk said:

just out of interest as there are so many responses on this thread, i have lost track. 

OP - has your boyfriend walked out on you or is he still there?

I did text him at like 3 am asking if he hated me. He replied saying no.

He's a saint, I'd hate anybody who texted me at 3am unless it was a dire emergency. 

you could put your phone on silent when you are asleep??

Then I wouldn't be woken in a true emergency. 

I prefer to trust people not to text at insane times of the night, and for the most part they don't. 

in am emergency, people would call.  you could put your text messages on silent.  but some phones don't allow different volume control for text messages and voice calls, like the xiaomi phone for example.

nora_nora

DizzyDizzy10 said:

Boyfriend sent me this message

"I know you have said that are looking for a job and I know you left your other job. Are you going to have a roof over your head next month or are you going to have to find rent money from somewhere? I'm not suggesting you'll go back to your old job. regardless of what happens between you and me, I wouldn't want you on the streets or anything."

Followed up with

"You have got food in and stuff right? I know things aren't great between us. I wouldn't want you going hungry. or anything."

I'd say don't get your hopes up. I'm reading that as even if he doesn't get involved again, he still wouldn't want you on the streets. I have a feeling that if you didn't keep texting him he probably wouldn't chase after you. 

DizzyDizzy10

I've not text him today apart from at 3am.

jjdc

The BF sounds like a decent chap. Putting him down as a reference though for your self employed escort job probably makes him sound like your pimp.

Anyway, this thread seems like it could be classic proof that it's better to seek forgiveness than permission.
Good luck, whatever happens.

nora_nora

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I've not text him today apart from at 3am.

Yes, to ask him if he hates you, which could be considered a little manipulative to get him to pity you and say what you wanted to hear. What did you expect him to say? Yes? Of course he wasn't going to say that. Now if you had you texted him at 3am to ask about him & how he is feeling rather than bringing all back to poor pitiful you again, i might have been a little more sympathetic. I think the kindest thing you can do is drop contact altogether and just leave the man alone. Let him make his own decision about how he feels without the 3am manipulation borne out of self pity.  You are not the victim in this scenario, please stop acting like it.

DizzyDizzy10

nora_nora said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I've not text him today apart from at 3am.

Yes, to ask him if he hates you, which could be considered a little manipulative to get him to pity you and say what you wanted to hear. What did you expect him to say? Yes? Of course he wasn't going to say that. Now if you had you texted him at 3am to ask about him & how he is feeling rather than bringing all back to poor pitiful you again, i might have been a little more sympathetic. I think the kindest thing you can do is drop contact altogether and just leave the man alone. Let him make his own decision about how he feels without the 3am manipulation borne out of self pity.  You are not the victim in this scenario, please stop acting like it.

I know I'm not the victim

DizzyDizzy10

I've made a pledge to myself today. I am not going to open WhatsApp or text my boyfriend.

Last night I was thinking at how bad I've been to him and his pain and sadness is my fault. 

So I'm going to give him the space he needs  

Morglin

I’d stop texting him, to be honest, and let him sort out what he wants to do.  Yes, he’s had a shock, but I’m sure he’s big enough and old enough to cope with it, as we all do.   Few of us get through life without someone shocking us!

Meanwhile, you get on with sorting out your supports, for changing your life around.  Do it for you - not anyone else. 

No doubt, sooner or later, he will make his choice, and then you can both move on with life, whatever it is.

wilfred30

Personally, the more the OP posts, the more I'm starting to think that the whole 'story' is made up.  

DizzyDizzy10

wilfred30 said:

Personally, the more the OP posts, the more I'm starting to think that the whole 'story' is made up.  

Its not but thanks