The mental physchee that gets you into debt in first place?

Mitzj7374

DayDreamerandGeneralWaster said:

I don't think it's self discipline either. Lots of people can have self discipline but still be in debt. 
Each person is unique and there isn't one answer to how they got into debt.
Habit is an issue. Sitting on your phone browsing, it doesn't feel like spending 'real' money. Thinking 'just one little treat, l deserve it, l work hard...'
I got into debt at first because l went into a relationship when l was 18 with someone who didn't care about having debt or repaying it. Then had a baby and needed to use my credit card because aforementioned loser couldn't keep a job. 

I was debt free briefly when l was in my early 20s. Between 2007-11, it spiralled from £2k to £12k. Just over spending, holidays, cars. Apart from one blip a few years ago when it went up £1500, l'm now credit card debt free. But l needed a new car in january so l took out a loan for that. Now l wish l had got another old banger and a smaller loan to be honest. I'm aiming to have it gone by the end of next year. Then on to the mortgage! It feels a bit overwhelming as l'm only really at the beginning of my journey. But keep remembering l need to live within my means for my own mental and financial health. No spending as a quick pick me up is ever worth it.

Why can’t he keep job? Been made redundant many times etc?

[Deleted User]

Mitzj7374 said:

Hi all, I’ve been wondering this for sometime some of my friends I help get out of debt and they seem to be straight back into it after 2 months etc.

Is there more to it then mental state?

Yes, and I've really enjoyed reading the other replies to this thread. What strikes me is that most of the tales of debt I read on this forum are people who actually have a decent income and overspend rather ending up in debt through genuine poverty / sudden hardship. I think these are the main factors for debt:

1. I want / need it now culture - rather than saving, have it now / life too short to wait etc coupled with the marketing and advertising that make people feel like they must have certain items to be happy / attractive / show status etc. I've wasted good money on some stupid things in my life and have nothing to show for it.

2. The ease of getting credit and the excessively high limits - I think that credit cards should be advertised differently, eg £12k limit card should say "this card can cost you £2k per year in interest and you'll need at least £1000 a month in spare income to clear it all in a year otherwise you'll spend £2k in interest again next year! ".

3. Head in the sand / ignorance / inability to understand financial situation and the long term cost of debt. In my case "head in the sand", I've got 2 a-levels in mathematics, I know how to do the sums, just didn't want to do them because I wouldn't like the answer.

4. Mental attitude towards money - for me for the last 20 years, money sat in the bank is just itching to be spent, the only question being what is that next purchase. Even better - put it on credit and I've still got that money in the bank (yes flawed logic)  - eat my cake and still have it. But this can change, took me probably 6 cycles of crashing into unmanageable debt, recovering and doing it again over 20 years before I've finally learned. Even bankruptcy didn't teach me a lesson, I did it all over again.

Now I create a monthly budget and track every penny I spend. I love watching my net worth increase in numbers more than having the latest tech / car / gadget etc. I take my time over big purchases now, will ponder for months sometimes about whether I should spend on a item and when I finally do buy something, enjoy the feeling of paying for it with real money (ie not credit). I get a kick out of saving a few quid here and there by shopping around, buying second hand, haggling, vouchers, cashback etc or the ultimate saving - not spending it!

Great example of how I've changed: It was Amazon Prime day (last two days), something I don't need but wanted spent 2 days in the basket on the website, just one click away from being delivered. The discount was incredible - over £100 I could have saved over normal price, but by not buying it at all I've saved a real hard £250 and I'm loving that feeling today.

DayDreamerandGeneralWaster

Mitzj7374 said:

DayDreamerandGeneralWaster said:

I don't think it's self discipline either. Lots of people can have self discipline but still be in debt. 
Each person is unique and there isn't one answer to how they got into debt.
Habit is an issue. Sitting on your phone browsing, it doesn't feel like spending 'real' money. Thinking 'just one little treat, l deserve it, l work hard...'
I got into debt at first because l went into a relationship when l was 18 with someone who didn't care about having debt or repaying it. Then had a baby and needed to use my credit card because aforementioned loser couldn't keep a job. 

I was debt free briefly when l was in my early 20s. Between 2007-11, it spiralled from £2k to £12k. Just over spending, holidays, cars. Apart from one blip a few years ago when it went up £1500, l'm now credit card debt free. But l needed a new car in january so l took out a loan for that. Now l wish l had got another old banger and a smaller loan to be honest. I'm aiming to have it gone by the end of next year. Then on to the mortgage! It feels a bit overwhelming as l'm only really at the beginning of my journey. But keep remembering l need to live within my means for my own mental and financial health. No spending as a quick pick me up is ever worth it.

Why can’t he keep job? Been made redundant many times etc?

Because he was a waster. I'm not with him anymore. 17 years in the past 😉