Duty of Confidentiality?

SevenOfNine

thepurplepixie said:

SevenOfNine said:

Up until your father died, was he of sound mind & managing his own finances?

For the 14 months since my dementia FiL was widowed then died, my BiL used his PoA & drained his a/c of £12k, ALL for his OWN benefit. Therefore 'only' a final bank statement in those circumstances wouldn't give an accurate picture.

SevenOfNine said:

Up until your father died, was he of sound mind & managing his own finances?

For the 14 months since my dementia FiL was widowed then died, my BiL used his PoA & drained his a/c of £12k, ALL for his OWN benefit. Therefore 'only' a final bank statement in those circumstances wouldn't give an accurate picture.

If the woman suspects financial abuse she should go to the authorities and let them investigate it, she isn't Miss Marple is she?   If I was the OP I would tell her to report it to the authorities if she feels his father was abused, if she is just making nasty snide allegations to all and sundry and I would advise her that I would be taking steps to deal with any slander/libel.

There's no point in threatening an 80 year old on the edges of dementia.

Malthusian

Tell her that you are under no obligation to pass her the statements, you see no benefit in doing so, and if she has any further issues she should contact a solicitor; you will not be entering into any further correspondence.

If she isn't interested in the truth, only in finding evidence for what she wants to believe (that you stole her inheritance), sending her information is pointless as she will just use it as another stick to beat you with.

thepurplepixie

SevenOfNine said:

thepurplepixie said:

SevenOfNine said:

Up until your father died, was he of sound mind & managing his own finances?

For the 14 months since my dementia FiL was widowed then died, my BiL used his PoA & drained his a/c of £12k, ALL for his OWN benefit. Therefore 'only' a final bank statement in those circumstances wouldn't give an accurate picture.

SevenOfNine said:

Up until your father died, was he of sound mind & managing his own finances?

For the 14 months since my dementia FiL was widowed then died, my BiL used his PoA & drained his a/c of £12k, ALL for his OWN benefit. Therefore 'only' a final bank statement in those circumstances wouldn't give an accurate picture.

If the woman suspects financial abuse she should go to the authorities and let them investigate it, she isn't Miss Marple is she?   If I was the OP I would tell her to report it to the authorities if she feels his father was abused, if she is just making nasty snide allegations to all and sundry and I would advise her that I would be taking steps to deal with any slander/libel.

There's no point in threatening an 80 year old on the edges of dementia.

What does on the edges of dementia mean, I know 80 year olds who are as sharp as a tack, saw David Attenborough being interviewed this morning and he's fine.  Sometimes 80 year olds do the dotty old lady act to get their way or to give them carte blanche to be rude but even if she is on the edges of dementia it isn't OK for her to be questioning OPs honesty and damaging his reputation.

MoneySeeker1

 A lot of this is about the fact that many people (maybe OP? certainly someone like myself I do know) would know we could "shrug off" any/all nasty comments, provided we had made "all reasonable efforts to prove ourselves" to all intents and purposes as far as normal people are concerned.

That's certainly why I would shrug (albeit not at all happily so) and provide the final years worth of accounts - so I was clearly/obviously "whistle clean" and no normal people could accuse me of anything. After that - if insults came flying at my head - I'd have my proof I'd done my reasonable best and clearly wasn't trying to hide anything and all "normal" people would accept I'd been meticulous/open/etc/etc and then I'd move on.

Right pain to have to put in extra paperwork to do that final years worth prior to death of getting accounts sorted/visible - but once I'd done it and handed them to person concerned/anyone/everyone/you name it - I'd have proved what an open/honest/etc/etc person I was and no reasonable person could say nay on that. Then move on.

The thing is the person concerned (rational/muddle-headed/you name it) was a friend of the person concerned and so they must have thought something of them to leave them something (albeit only 5%).

SevenOfNine

thepurplepixie said:

SevenOfNine said:

thepurplepixie said:

SevenOfNine said:

Up until your father died, was he of sound mind & managing his own finances?

For the 14 months since my dementia FiL was widowed then died, my BiL used his PoA & drained his a/c of £12k, ALL for his OWN benefit. Therefore 'only' a final bank statement in those circumstances wouldn't give an accurate picture.

SevenOfNine said:

Up until your father died, was he of sound mind & managing his own finances?

For the 14 months since my dementia FiL was widowed then died, my BiL used his PoA & drained his a/c of £12k, ALL for his OWN benefit. Therefore 'only' a final bank statement in those circumstances wouldn't give an accurate picture.

If the woman suspects financial abuse she should go to the authorities and let them investigate it, she isn't Miss Marple is she?   If I was the OP I would tell her to report it to the authorities if she feels his father was abused, if she is just making nasty snide allegations to all and sundry and I would advise her that I would be taking steps to deal with any slander/libel.

There's no point in threatening an 80 year old on the edges of dementia.

What does on the edges of dementia mean, I know 80 year olds who are as sharp as a tack, saw David Attenborough being interviewed this morning and he's fine.  Sometimes 80 year olds do the dotty old lady act to get their way or to give them carte blanche to be rude but even if she is on the edges of dementia it isn't OK for her to be questioning OPs honesty and damaging his reputation.

Quote OPs words:
"Also, in my opinion, she's suffering from some form of dementia so, even if she bothers to listen to what I'm saying (which isn't often), she forgets what she's been told within a short while".

I don't recall saying, or implying, that it was "OK for her to be"..........etc etc

thepurplepixie

The OPs opinion doesn't really carry much weight when it comes to a dementia diagnosis, it is hard enough getting a diagnosis from a geriatrician and I know this with a relative where I struggled to get a diagnosis for years.  The OP doesn't seem to be a close friend or relative of this woman so perfectly possible that she is just a nasty piece of work being awkward.  At the end of the day what the deceased spent his money on when he was alive is none of her business.

Malthusian

If it's true that the woman is unable to retain information, then regardless of whether that is due to dementia or not, this emphasises that there is absolutely no point in providing the deceased's bank statements.

"Hi, just to shut you up, here's the statements." *an hour passes* "I've just finished reading the statements and they prove you stole my money." "No they don't. Speak to a solicitor if you really want to take this further, they'll tell you not to waste their time. *click*"

*several hours pass* "I've just finished reading the statements and they prove you stole my money." "I already told you..." "No you didn't, you only just sent them to me." "Go see a solicitor, I'm not interested. *click*"

*the next morning* "I've just finished reading the statements and they prove you stole my money." "*click*"

*repeat ad infinitum*

Whether the beneficiary has dementia or not is not the OP's problem. The correct course of action would be the same either way.