Missed Mortgage Payments

AskAsk

sallysaver said:

AskAsk said:

sallysaver said:

Hi,

I don't want to alarm you one little bit, but if, as you say, you don't think the mortgage has been paid since January 2020, I think you should urge him to open that pile of letters.  It's quite some time since I worked with mortgages but by missed payment 3, the wheels were put in motion for re-possession.  Of course, this has been an extraordinary year with Covid and I know Lenders have been giving extended payment holidays etc to help people out, but it will be awful for you if someone comes knocking at the door with that re-possession in hand.  Time won't be on your side.  I have done re-po's when the poor wife who knew nothing about the situation was at her wits end when the Bailiff and locksmith came knocking all because the letters had been ignored.  Burying his head in the sand will do no-one any favours.  I feel for you, it must be  difficult especially with a new born. 

i think the repossession has not been done because of covid 19.  this article seem to state that the banks are not allowed to repossess at the moment
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2020/08/13/repossessions-plunge-93pc-banks-banned-seizing-homes-coronavirus/

I hadn't seen or read that article in the telegraph so thanks for that.  I just want Connieswee to be prepared.  If for instance, the mortgage payment was due the Jan 4 2020, followed by Feb 4 2020 and then March 4 2020, lockdown didn't happen until March 23, the first letter could well have been despatched and sitting in that 'pile of letters'!!!  And since he is still out of work, obviously funds will be limited.  What a dilemma to be in, in what should be one of the happiest times of their lives.  I sincerely hope things improve for them

it may be why the OP's partner is thinking of selling up as he knows that when covid 19 is over, the flat is a gonner and he will have little control over it.  so if he sells it now before the bank can get their hands on it, he will hopefully get a better price for it, as a repossessed property is sold under market value for a quick sale.

the bank probably won't object to the sale if the OP's partner finds a buyer in the current climate as they can get their money back.

yes, not a nice situation to be in for anyone and certainly for someone expecting a new baby, it is terrible times, all the uncertainty.

sallysaver

AskAsk said:

sallysaver said:

AskAsk said:

sallysaver said:

Hi,

I don't want to alarm you one little bit, but if, as you say, you don't think the mortgage has been paid since January 2020, I think you should urge him to open that pile of letters.  It's quite some time since I worked with mortgages but by missed payment 3, the wheels were put in motion for re-possession.  Of course, this has been an extraordinary year with Covid and I know Lenders have been giving extended payment holidays etc to help people out, but it will be awful for you if someone comes knocking at the door with that re-possession in hand.  Time won't be on your side.  I have done re-po's when the poor wife who knew nothing about the situation was at her wits end when the Bailiff and locksmith came knocking all because the letters had been ignored.  Burying his head in the sand will do no-one any favours.  I feel for you, it must be  difficult especially with a new born. 

i think the repossession has not been done because of covid 19.  this article seem to state that the banks are not allowed to repossess at the moment
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2020/08/13/repossessions-plunge-93pc-banks-banned-seizing-homes-coronavirus/

I hadn't seen or read that article in the telegraph so thanks for that.  I just want Connieswee to be prepared.  If for instance, the mortgage payment was due the Jan 4 2020, followed by Feb 4 2020 and then March 4 2020, lockdown didn't happen until March 23, the first letter could well have been despatched and sitting in that 'pile of letters'!!!  And since he is still out of work, obviously funds will be limited.  What a dilemma to be in, in what should be one of the happiest times of their lives.  I sincerely hope things improve for them

it may be why the OP's partner is thinking of selling up as he knows that when covid 19 is over, the flat is a gonner and he will have little control over it.  so if he sells it now before the bank can get their hands on it, he will hopefully get a better price for it, as a repossessed property is sold under market value for a quick sale.

the bank probably won't object to the sale if the OP's partner finds a buyer in the current climate as they can get their money back.

yes, not a nice situation to be in for anyone and certainly for someone expecting a new baby, it is terrible times, all the uncertainty.

Connieswee has already had her baby. He or she is 5 months old.

sallysaver

ConnieSwee said:

sallysaver said:

Hi,

I don't want to alarm you one little bit, but if, as you say, you don't think the mortgage has been paid since January 2020, I think you should urge him to open that pile of letters.  It's quite some time since I worked with mortgages but by missed payment 3, the wheels were put in motion for re-possession.  Of course, this has been an extraordinary year with Covid and I know Lenders have been giving extended payment holidays etc to help people out, but it will be awful for you if someone comes knocking at the door with that re-possession in hand.  Time won't be on your side.  I have done re-po's when the poor wife who knew nothing about the situation was at her wits end when the Bailiff and locksmith came knocking all because the letters had been ignored.  Burying his head in the sand will do no-one any favours.  I feel for you, it must be  difficult especially with a new born. 

Hi Sallysaver, thanks very much for your input; this is some info I was hoping to find out - I feel so in the dark, obviously my partner is telling me nothing - my questions & enquiries to him come to a dead end each time and I had no real idea of when/how banks might act in these scenarios, so at least I feel I know what could possibly happen now.  I did read that banks & landlords etc had been instructed not to carry out repossessions/evictions until October 2020 - not sure if that's still the case or how quickly they will take action at that point.  I'm very lucky in that I have some family & friends nearby who have told me if I needed to stay with them at a moments notice that they'd be happy to have me & the baby.  My partner's Mum & Dad are lovely & also nearby- although if a repossession does happen I really can't see myself following my partner to his parents place, I think that would be time for a bit of space to think things though.

Thank you for the update and I'm glad I could give you some info that may assist you at some point.  I am really pleased that you have friends/family close by on whom you can depend.  Because of  this 'burying his head in the sand' scenario, I can't help but think either he can't face the situation because he realises it's just not good.  However, if he doesn't want to discuss it, there is little you can do. In fact, it just makes things more difficult and you have enough on your plate at the moment.  New babies are hard work!!!   I sincerely wish you well, stay strong and stay safe.

Exodi

ConnieSwee said:

I've been living with my boyfriend for 5 years now, I moved in to his flat that he'd bought 5 years previously.  He has never wanted me to pay in to his mortgage with him, just asked me to pay half towards all the bills.  He promised many times to show me what all the bills were but never did, I've just always done a direct debit at the start of each month for the amount that he said was half the household bills.

I fell pregnant last year, a few months in to my pregnancy he quit his job (November 2019) - he's never managed to find another job & our baby is now 5 months.  As far as I know, my partner hasn't paid his mortgage since January 2020 & none of the bills (apart from internet) have been paid since possibly April 2020. He does not open his post; there are piles of unopened letters, he won't let me sort through them either- I've offered many times to help with this.
When I went on to maternity pay I stopped giving my partner the monthly payment towards the bills - I said I wouldn't blindly hand over money while on reduced pay & with him still not letting me know what the bills are & what he was actually paying.
He is now talking about selling the flat - I guess from the above you could tell that I have many questions & doubts but my main questions at the moment are; would be bank let him put the property on the market when he has missed so many payments? Would he get a mortgage or a rent agreement in his name when he doesn't have a job? When speaking to the bank etc he is blaming Coronavirus virus for his lack of job/financial problem which simply isn't true - he quit his job & didn't find another months before all the problems with Coronavirus started.

To play devils advocate:

If you were paying £300 a month for bills then it's not unlikely to be close to a fair split. I agree with your stance that you shouldn't be expected to blindly hand over money wtihout knowing what the bills are (of if he's even using your money to pay for them!) but I trust you've then been putting the money aside in a savings account to give to him when the bills are finally scrutinised together? You can see how it probably added fuel to the fire by telling him you wouldn't be paying for bills just as he was falling behind with them.

From what you've said: his decision to randomly quit his job and refusing to show you the bills even despite your threat to stop paying them indicates that he may be experiencing mental issues, so I said with others in this thread on that front.

In response to your last points, he would struggle to rent a property with no job. Your later comment that you'd feel angry if he was to look after the child while you worked is interesting - I think you both need to take some time apart to try to see things from each others perspective.

ontheroad1970

sweetsand said:

Dear OP
Sorry to read about you concerns. 
About selling the flat. He can sell it and there may be money left over depending on buy and sell price. There may be no money left and any shortfall, the banks would chase him for as long as they though he was not a lost cause.
IMO, if he sells up, he won't be getting social housing immediately.
If the property is repossessed as another said, be careful as he will go into much greater debts and they don't do that just for a few payments and they will sell via auction, plus costs on top.
Its a hard one
Have you though about leaving him as not telling ones OH details re bills especially when you are contributing towards them does not appear good on any level.

ATB
x

This is one of those threads where you really really must only post advice when you have thoroughly researched it.  This isn't about being nice, this isn't about being an aspiring philanthropist.  Sometimes advice you give can be very serious if the person asks for it takes it.  Would you feel at all responsible if Connie followed your advice and it all went horribly wrong?  This isn't the place for an opinion.  it's a place for advice based on cold, hard facts.

The baby is 5 months old.  The baby will need both of their parents to be available and accessible.  It is in the child's best interests that the father is able to be the best father he can be for the child, whether that be living with Connie or not.  However, it all needs to be worked out carefully to be able to do the best for all.  So rash decisions, based on ignorance of the OP's actual feelings, and all of the OP's situation are not the way forward.  

I'm not going to snoop into the details of the state of the relationship of the OP.  That's not our task.  If there is a chance that they can stay together then they should definitely make the effort - though I don't believe in staying together 'for the sake of the baby'.  That way lies long periods of everyone hating the sight of each other and resentment.  If the relationship has run its course then so be it.  But that is up to the OP.

First things first if possible make an appointment with CAB or talk with stepwise or other charities.  Also, speak to the bank holding the mortgage.  Sit down with your partner and go through the mail and keep everything ordered into secured and unsecured debts.  Prioritise them according to absolute needs.  It is better to speak to the bank and have a plan and know what is happening so you can make a move in full grasp of the facts of the situation you are in.  COVID may well give you breathing space to try and sort things out.  

If you don't think the relationship has irretrievably broken down, then you should do what you can to keep it alive, but get him to go to counselling to work through his issues.  I'd bet that the bills are because he hasn't talked things through properly and I'm guessing he doesn't actually know fully what the outgoings are.  

Finally don't simply trust what some strangers say on a forum.  We don't have vested interests in the outcome so opinions are cheap.  Use your heart as well as your head.  

AskAsk

sallysaver said:

AskAsk said:

sallysaver said:

AskAsk said:

sallysaver said:

Hi,

I don't want to alarm you one little bit, but if, as you say, you don't think the mortgage has been paid since January 2020, I think you should urge him to open that pile of letters.  It's quite some time since I worked with mortgages but by missed payment 3, the wheels were put in motion for re-possession.  Of course, this has been an extraordinary year with Covid and I know Lenders have been giving extended payment holidays etc to help people out, but it will be awful for you if someone comes knocking at the door with that re-possession in hand.  Time won't be on your side.  I have done re-po's when the poor wife who knew nothing about the situation was at her wits end when the Bailiff and locksmith came knocking all because the letters had been ignored.  Burying his head in the sand will do no-one any favours.  I feel for you, it must be  difficult especially with a new born. 

i think the repossession has not been done because of covid 19.  this article seem to state that the banks are not allowed to repossess at the moment
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2020/08/13/repossessions-plunge-93pc-banks-banned-seizing-homes-coronavirus/

I hadn't seen or read that article in the telegraph so thanks for that.  I just want Connieswee to be prepared.  If for instance, the mortgage payment was due the Jan 4 2020, followed by Feb 4 2020 and then March 4 2020, lockdown didn't happen until March 23, the first letter could well have been despatched and sitting in that 'pile of letters'!!!  And since he is still out of work, obviously funds will be limited.  What a dilemma to be in, in what should be one of the happiest times of their lives.  I sincerely hope things improve for them

it may be why the OP's partner is thinking of selling up as he knows that when covid 19 is over, the flat is a gonner and he will have little control over it.  so if he sells it now before the bank can get their hands on it, he will hopefully get a better price for it, as a repossessed property is sold under market value for a quick sale.

the bank probably won't object to the sale if the OP's partner finds a buyer in the current climate as they can get their money back.

yes, not a nice situation to be in for anyone and certainly for someone expecting a new baby, it is terrible times, all the uncertainty.

Connieswee has already had her baby. He or she is 5 months old.

lol, am I bad.  i read the original post and it somehow translates to the OP is 5 months pregnant!  you are right, the baby is already here and is 5 months old.