Anticlimax After Purchase?

SaintJudy

I'm 47 and a FTB, and although I'm still in the process and not in the new place yet, I can't imagine how this can happen to me. I've lived in this rented flat for 18 years and while I have a good landlord, I am still living in someone else's property and the worries of that never go away. This flat has not been updated in any way other than what I have done, I hate the carpets (rust brown, anyone?), the immersion heater fails every year but he won't replace, I have an incredibly noisy family with two small children underneath me and weed smokers in the back garden which mean I can't keep my windows open. I have loved living in this flat, it has looked after me and enabled me to live alone in London for work at a decent cost. I've not had to move every year or every couple of years because of unreasonable rent increases or landlords selling like most people I know here. 

However it's time to move on. Lockdown has shown me that working from home with the noise from underneath isn't viable and is actually incredibly stressful (they've been spoken to about the noise they make but nothing has changed, and in fairness they're a nice family, they're just incredibly loud). I'm fully expecting there to be things to do and fix in the new place but I'm aware of that and fully prepared for it. I'll have a spare room and more storage than I can fill. I'll be able to park my car somewhere other that the street outside. Most of the things I currently worry about I'll finally be able to have some control over. I don't think I'll regret it at all  

dramaticat

I'm expecting this to happen with my next move. So far, every time I've bought a new house, it has been a great, exciting experience. Even when I had to sell a house I loved because I was getting divorced, the house I bought then was a house I loved right from the beginning, even after a nightmare move.

But this time is different. When people ask why I'm moving, my first reply is that I am downsizing because a 5-bedroomed house is too big for me on my own. I have visions of it becoming too much for me to cope with when I'm in my dotage, and would rather move while I have the health and strength to do so. While that is all true, what has brought me to this decision is that, since my husband died, this house has not felt like my home. While I know that moving house is not going to make me feel less lonely or sad, neither is staying put. I decided to choose a new adventure in home-owning over constant reminders of a life that has now gone.

It also doesn't help that I want to stay in the same village, so the choice of property is limited and the chance of finding a house that is a 'perfect' fit much lower than if I had a larger search area. I may need to make more compromises than I might otherwise want to, which would also contribute to taking the shine off things.

So I imagine on the day I move I will be sitting in my new living room exhausted, alone – and possibly in floods of tears. But I hope to wake up the next morning with more positive feelings.

Falafels

dramaticat said:

So I imagine on the day I move I will be sitting in my new living room exhausted, alone – and possibly in floods of tears. But I hope to wake up the next morning with more positive feelings.

(((HUGS)))

badger09

To be honest, as someone only a few weeks into the whole house selling & buying rollercoaster (after 20 years in current home) I really don't mind if I do feel that 'anticlimax after purchase' feeling. Its can't be any worse than the current OMG 'what do we need to do next' feeling which is keeping me awake for much of the night. There's only so many lists I can make in the dark @ 4am! 

timefortea

I feel stupid about this now but when I first walked into my house I was upset by the living room walls being covered in holes which had streaks of orange brick dust coming out of them. The previous owners had had a gallery wall and an oddly shaped shelving unit that was held up by about 12 screws. I quickly got over it and started to love the house again, and still do. I think it was partly that I had loved the previous owners' style so seeing it bare was a bit of a shock, and the buying process took over 6 months so I'd had a lot of time to daydream about the beautiful house I was moving into. I also felt a bit overwhelmed by what I'd committed to - I was a FTB, buying on my own, with zero DIY skills. 

iwb100

timefortea said:

I feel stupid about this now but when I first walked into my house I was upset by the living room walls being covered in holes which had streaks of orange brick dust coming out of them. The previous owners had had a gallery wall and an oddly shaped shelving unit that was held up by about 12 screws. I quickly got over it and started to love the house again, and still do. I think it was partly that I had loved the previous owners' style so seeing it bare was a bit of a shock, and the buying process took over 6 months so I'd had a lot of time to daydream about the beautiful house I was moving into. I also felt a bit overwhelmed by what I'd committed to - I was a FTB, buying on my own, with zero DIY skills. 

Yeah a lot of people, especially new buyers need to be adjusted that you walk in and it’s empty and there will likely be blemishes etc where stuff was on the wall for example. And the kitchen will be dirty. It might look clean but unless it’s a new build or someone with scrupulous cleaning it will be dirty...they almost always are. If you have in your head as many do, you are moving into a lovely palace and your first night will be dining in a lovely space...it won’t be that. You will be surrounded by boxes, tired and fed up of dusting....

steadfast123

I moved a month ago and had a bit of anxiety and worry on the first night that I’d made a mistake. We viewed the property twice, but I think it’s really hard to look as closely as you would like at everything. When we moved in, we immediately noticed little things like mould in the kitchen and bathroom, damaged shelving in the kitchen, stains on carpets, loose tap etc that we hadn’t spotted before. Very minor things and completely to be expected, but in the heightened state of anxiety of moving day it led to me temporarily doubting my decision. Felt fine the next day, and love the house

Saga

Thanks for everyone's fantastic contributions!

On reflection, I think my presumed anticlimax feeling (!) is down to a fear that, after renting all my life and attaining this pedestalled social marker of having a mortgage (and thus on the road to becoming a home owner) unless it's a property (and location and neighbours) that I absolutely love there'll be nothing immediately obvious to reflect the gravity of the change of circumstance.  The likely reality of sitting in a dirty house that is screaming out for money and elbow grease only adds to this!

I think unless you're an old FTB you may not understand this.

Windofchange

We moved in last month, and I know what you mean. I think for me it was the sudden disappearance of all the stress of the last 8 months. I was dealing with all the admin on my own, and my other half was not much support at all, therefore I think when we finally got through the front door it just all felt a bit meh. I love our new house, and in fairness to the other half I sort of took over all the admin stuff rather than her putting it on me, but all of a sudden all the nerves and stress disappear, and there you are. I was thinking well now what? I have no remorse, and I get frequent warm fuzzy feelings about finally owning somewhere having rented most of my adult life, but there are the odd pangs of what have we done. Our online mortgage account doesn't make for pretty viewing either - that is quite a lot of money we have to make sure we pay back! 

Anyway, what can you do. Have got stuck into a load of DIY and spent last weekend covered in plaster. 99% of the time loving it, but I think the odd 1% of doubt is both healthy and expected with something of this magnitude? 

hb2

I was 23 when I bought my first place - a one bed flat in a converted house. I moved in and cried - frightened of the commitment I had taken on and wondering if I had done the right thing*. I met my OH soon after, so sold the flat after 1 year  and moved into his house (I made £1000 after costs, it seemed like a fortune in 1983!). 

Our next place was an 'it's OK short-term' place so I had no great expectations of it. We stayed there for 29 years. Our current flat felt like home from the start and we hope to be here until the end.

* I had the same reaction on my wedding night, so it is obviously just how I react to big events!