First Steps to Solvency

clairebeth

alt80 said:

Good afternoon spent - did go into town and pleased to see it was really busy. Traffic was horrendous though but not walking in this weather. I set myself a £100 budget and spent £89 including the parking and a coffee - all accounted for so nothing has gone on credit. Not done that since I was a lot, lot younger but it worked, wasn’t disappointed with the experience at all still walked away with a new belt and gloves but not the usual £1k+ spend followed by the oh s*** how’s this being paid for guilt fest. Actually managed to have a look at things and consider whether I wanted to save towards them another month or not buy at all. I think I will probably buy wife a Christmas present (she doesn’t know) but it won’t be going on credit saw a few Mulberry accessories in JL she’d probably like but not as expensive as buying a bag. 

@clairebeth I’m not disagreeing with that - need to sort the mindset out or I’ll pay it down a bit and just build it back up again. 

@theoretica I know what you mean - I have stopped chasing the super yachts etc accepted that’s not going to happen for me not good enough to become some kind of tycoon lol.

@ladyholly / @RelievedSheff I’ve recognised I do have a bit too much stress in my life. That’s one of the major reasons I realised i need to work on getting the payments down. 

Not surprised you’re happy with the boat - sounds like you have amazing weekends and holidays away.

@getmore4less tbh if we’re talking features for my family my current home is just about perfect. Always bought wise which is why I have the amount of equity I do ... started out with a one bed flat on a 100%LTV when I got my first grad job lol so come a long way since those days. The only reason I want to upgrade is to upgrade to the next level of house always pleased to come back home which is a nice place to be.

 

Please do read that last post back to yourself. Don't you see? How far you've come? You HAVE your dream home! You have your beautiful family. Not one single possession will improve on that.

The only thing to do now is to keep going with the counselling so you really understand that and appreciate your good fortune. 

You acknowledge that contentment is the aim of your game, so stop chasing possessions and learn to be content instead. Then, you've made it! 

mamamu

You can upgrade your life to the next level by becoming debt free. This would be massive upgrade, getting in to more debt by getting more expensive house you do not need is not upgrade.

alt80

This week: 
1. Stick with the budget. Within budget but have knocked the first £89 out of the ‘entertainment’ budget. Wasn’t meant to be buying clothing but have. Not going to lie I really enjoy shopping (yes I know a bit strange haha) - love going for a walk around town and actually got a bigger buzz from considering what I was buying today And not breaking the bank. Tbh not sad about spending a bit of the ‘entertainment’ budget. We have £140 left for the month (coffees out as a family not on expenses come off groceries). Nothing hidden from wife - it was nice to discuss our afternoons with each other no judgement. 
2. Not spend my free time looking at cars / property rather than doing something with my family. Wife and I prepared dinner together and we had a family film night. Enjoyed a bottle of wine between us and made it last lol. We agreed we’ll have two more bottles of wine max for the rest of the month.

3. Check yolt app everyday. Check. 
4. 4 day working week for me. Check.

5. 3x workouts, 1x 5km. 2x workouts, no 5km yet got the weekend for that! Hmmm no exercise lol so need to do a workout and a 5km run tomorrow ... really likely that lol.

alt80

@clairebeth I do feel really fortunate to live where I do. Driving back home, pulling into my road and onto my drive usually feels good. Was in the BM today. When I started out I also had a BM but as much as I wanted to pretend it was fantastic it was literally the cheapest M3 in the UK when I bought it... 150k worth of thrashing that thing had prior to my ownership lol. Suppose it’s some of the stuff I’ve written on here making me reflect but for one of the first times in my life (apart from when something is NEW) I sat in my car on the drive and thought yeah you’ve come a long way things are good. 

Genuine contentment is absolutely made it in life because at that point I’d imagine you don’t really care where you actually are on the scale or trying to impress. 

@mamamu I definitely want to address the personal debt issues. Actually see I can stop using credit to supplement a lifestyle I cannot afford. Wife and I had a discussion after son went to bed about my shame in admitting I can’t afford something - rather she told me she thinks more of me now for admitting I need to sort this and by extension I can’t afford stuff than when she suspected as much but I wouldn’t admit it and we were juggling credit cards around constantly. She knew I owed money but also knew I’d just lie and lose it if she tried to bring it up. Don’t want that in my relationship. Honesty moving forwards and build some trust which will definitely be an upgrade.

ryanm8655

It’s good to hear you and your wife talking openly and frankly. Things really seem to be moving in the right direction...

Through selling things and clearing £1k a month, you are going to be making really swift progress.

I think your mentality will naturally evolve over time and is already starting to. That’s a good sign.

The M3 story makes me laugh ha. A good mate of mine has an e46 m3 that is his pride and joy. I get it, I love my cars too, I just have other priorities right now. The thing is he currently lives at home, while on decentish money and having £30/40k saved for a deposit on a place in London. The thing holding him back is the fact he wants parking for the M3 he rarely drives. Very few flats come with parking and the ones that do you pay a hefty premium for and it starts to stretch his affordability...Likewise if he got rid of the car he’d have an extra £12k for a deposit... I find it bizarre that he’d rather live at home at 30 than compromise on the M3, especially when he hates his family

enthusiasticsaver

Good to hear that you and your wife are on the same page. Do you have any hobbies?  I wonder if you go shopping through boredom.  Spending almost £90 on one shopping trip which is about 40% of your entertainment budget sounds a  lot to me especially if you only bought a belt and something else I cannot remember.  Did you actually need a belt or was it a "want". Hobbies are what keeps me from spending (although it helps I don't like shopping and have no craving for designer goods etc and am quite minimalist).  Whatever ticks your boxes.  I am into walking, coastal hill walking, swimming, gym, piano, gardening, reading and crossword puzzles, puzzles.  None of those really cost a lot. Can you find something to occupy your time which does not involve traipsing round shops? 

alt80

@ryanm8655 thanks mate. Managed to get a bit more up for sale today so £8k worth up for sale. Need to get this sorted not getting any younger and it’s a bit silly constantly being in debt. Bit of a wake up call reading some of the stuff on here people earning a lot less but not overspending tbf.

Haha an E46 M3 is really not worth living at home for. 30 years old too wow can’t imagine being 30 and taking a girl back to my parents lol all for an E46 and I thought I had it bad for cars. Mine was an E36, almost swapped it for an E46 which was current at the time but did something more stupid and bought a 1981 911SC guards red with the massive whale tail and the checkerboard interior... and a dodgy MOT as I found when my tester made A LOT of holes. My only car at the time and my stuff for work didn’t fit in ‘the boot’...Well under the bonnet iyswim struggled with it for eight months and decided I needed something BIG. One of my old work colleagues said for a laugh ‘what you need is a Range Rover’. Now I was 23/4, no responsibilities apart from fancying a big car so I did the really sensible thing and bought a clapped out old Mercedes I could do 20k in and still get my money back when I was done... No, Of course not I went to LR and took out a load of finance on a 3 year old, last of the line black P38 with the Rover V8. I thought I’d arrived driving that around during the week and the 911 at the weekend. Depreciated faster than throwing money out of a 15th floor window, was just as unreliable as you think and not too long after I bought it Layer Cake came out so a lot of people took the p***. No idea why but there’s obviously something endearing about them to me or I’m just that much of an idiot considering I’ve not been without one since lol. I’ve got far more car stories than I should have.

You have a really balanced view of being able to like something but realise it’s not in your priorities right now, park it and come back to it later. Really admire that. 

@enthusiasticsaver hobbies are cars, buying houses, shopping (know you’re going to say that is not a hobby lol) and an on/off hobby with gym / running. Do like walking my dog with son / wife. Can’t buy anymore cars / property right now So that’s off. 

Need - not really, it was more a want / impulse buy. Not sure there’s a massive issue if it’s budgeted for though?

alt80

This week: 
1. Stick with the budget. Check. Weather a bit better today spent £15 on coffee from groceries after a drive out.
2. Not spend my free time looking at cars / property rather than doing something with my family. Check. Nice day putting more stuff up for sale, helping wife with photos etc and cooking a roast. Went out as a family this afternoon. 

3. Check yolt app everyday. Check. 
4. 4 day working week for me. Check.

5. 3x workouts, 1x 5km. 2x workouts, no 5km yet got the weekend for that! Hmmm no exercise lol Will get out for a run with dog after son goes to bed so going to end the week on 2x workouts, 1x 5km. I’m OK with that... wife thinks it’s pitiful lol (she does 5km 2 days, 10km 2 days and an interval run 1 day and 6x workouts a week - basically addicted. Before someone says go with wife running 5 days a week erm no it’ll probably kill me.

getmore4less

Did a rightmove search. 

Seems to be a few large student HMO up for sale. 

No idea if that is normal, 35years since I was living in the area(West of Nottingham) 

alt80

@getmore4less yeah there’s usually a few for sale. Has been a very strong investment market for prime fully loaded and legal student hmos pre-corona but lending has recently got more difficult (corona uncertainty a fair few lenders have pulled out of the market maybe temporarily). Definitely some uncertainty generally in the student sector if you’re thinking about investing.