First Steps to Solvency

Onebrokelady

ladyholly said:

Onebrokelady said:

Just because Bojo says you can doesn't mean you have to, you just need to keep focused  and carrying on one day at a time, you have inspired me to give up chocolate, cakes and biscuits for 30 days,I thought if you can give up drink and drugs for 30 days then surely I can manage my sweet tooth 😂

I have done much the same. I keep thinking  if alt can keep off the addictive stuff I can lose some weight which I seriously need to.

I bet when you started on your debt free journey you never thought you would inspire others.

I've actually taken a lot of inspiration from here, the biggest one was that having more money doesn't always  make you any happier. I've always been in the if only camp of thinking if only I earned x amount of money things would be better or I would be happier and having read alts diary I now realise that's not always the case. In my case a slight increase in earnings would make life a bit easier but I've realised that happiness doesn't always follow 😊

ladyholly

Onebrokelady said:

I've actually taken a lot of inspiration from here, the biggest one was that having more money doesn't always  make you any happier. I've always been in the if only camp of thinking if only I earned x amount of money things would be better or I would be happier and having read alts diary I now realise that's not always the case. In my case a slight increase in earnings would make life a bit easier but I've realised that happiness doesn't always follow 😊

Thats true. We are definitely in a better place than a year or two ago. Overdraft paid off, credit card has about £60 left on it. Just the loan to go which will take a while. We had to get one to pay for a new conservtory as the roof on the old one was gradually sliding into the gutter and it leaked badly in heavy rain. Overpayment paid when I can but we have a limited income (pensioners who didnt save and only have very small private pensions. ) If I knew then what I know now things might be easier. Paying for  older dogs insurance doesnt help - £200 a month but as the youngest is 10 and the oldest 14 I dont want to cancel it. My inspiration comment was aimed mainly at alt80 as he has come such a long way since his first posts but a lot of others have helped too.

Sun_Addict

I work with a lot of very high earners, talking £125k a year plus. They never have any money. Once they’ve paid their massive mortgage, private school fees and expensive cars they’re left with very little. I remember once coming back from my lunch break with a few bags of sales bargains and someone very high up saying she wished she had the money to treat herself. The more you earn the more you spend.

stymied

Have you built maintenance of house exterior and interior plus replacement of contents as appropriate into your future years budgets @alt80 like you already do for your BTL properties?

alt80

Day 33, still not had a drink so should be able to park that until Friday all being well. Weekdays not really been a time for me drinking too much. Lot more clear 100%.

 

Good day out with the family just a big walk again £0 spends. Also set up my ongoing cashflow/ budget tracker for the rest of 2021. Had some fairly big conversations with my wife she knows I can’t carry on supporting the IG stuff for her. She’d been on it early this morning didn’t get until tomorrow properly crying about some of the stuff these girls have got (the influencers not her mates lol) and how bad things are for us. Had a very long conversation with her about it, she’s more upset about not getting the stuff for IG than the stuff itself. Most funny thing is she doesn’t even have a public account but basically feels ‘connected’ to people she’s not seen in years by making content and ‘connected’ to the influencers peddling their wares haha. Seriously odd but after a really long chat I think she gets it not being real and tbt think she’s got some kind of addiction to it. She can’t see what else she’d do with her life without it etc. FML got her to fill out the questionnaire I did when I first started the substance use counselling, she almost ticked as many boxes for IG being destructive in her life as I did for the chang ha. Not funny really been there not with IG but it’s !!!!!! horrible.

 

Genuinely think her life could be better without it and better for our son without us both doing destructive stuff. We’ve had a great weekend just getting out walking, playing in the garden and a few films. Wasting our time really I know 100% but it’s been nice. Showed her how much better we’d be just sticking with the budget and that we still get a bit of a life when lockdown inevitably ends less money for her IG stuff but will be able to either eat out somewhere nice twice a month or somewhere properly good once a month, also 10 fully paid for family days and a bit of shopping still. Had quite a long chat about holidays – that’s one of the areas we’ve going to be massively compromising in tbh. I was ready for that all our holidays been about her IG stuff and spending in recent years but we used to have some amazing cheap but fantastic holidays before that. Got her to list her favourite holiday memories – not one from recent years FML.

 

Cars came up. I’m ready to let the BMW go – would consider keeping it if we both loved it and tbh have discussed the possibility of replacing it with a cheap AM (thinking like a DB7 or cheaper Vantage or DB9) or a really nice XJS again and accepting the debt free date will look similar to where I am now with the BMW. I realise a lot on here going to say that’s more stupidity but I’d like to consider the options with a clear head. Wasn’t exactly of the sanest mind when I was thinking about buying an XJS before but still think the idea isn’t the worst thing ever. Wife and I used to enjoy going out in the F-Type together, one of the few things we did as a couple tbh. Other option potentially get the low/ no BIK option and park having a fun car until the card debt has gone, find something else to do of a summer evening with my Mrs when the inlaws have son and look again when we’re a lot closer to the RR balloon. Idk – don’t shoot me now haha I am thinking this through and appreciate an aging V12 AM has the potential for some real added bork factor so am thinking I probably at least need the card debt behind me before making a move on that one realistically.

 

@woahsoah thanks mate.

 

Ha know a few people who’ve done well with crypto. Don’t know anything about it myself though and will have a look at the vanguard funds thanks mate. Seems I’ve got some reading to do, actually looking forward to learning something new and not property related could be good for me.

 

@RelievedSheff 100% I know I’m just concerned about it and more temptation/ potential triggers etc. Don’t trust myself lol.

 

What you say about spending at the weekends, something my wife and I talked about today mate. Got her to list what she likes doing the most basically boiled down to exercise/ sports haha FML would probably be rich if that’s all we’d done at the weekends for all these years. That’s the odd thing with her the things she loves are stupidly cheap to accommodate, if she wasn’t bothered about the clothes / holidays stuff that tbt I think more about making IG content than anything.

 

@ladyholly Ha most definitely not tbh didn’t think it’d make a difference to my drug use either.

 

@getmore4less as soon as you mentioned dealing with numbers in the morning, sat here nodding my head thinking I do actually work better in the morning myself should stick to that rather than late at night after a full day working should try to relax then I think. No idea if I’ll ever get to that point but can hope.

 

Thank you for having a look at this, greatly appreciated second pair of eyes mate. Figures pretty much bang on from my own data. Been on the spreadsheets too – no idea how to upload in a friendly way to here so get the abridged version haha.

 

Interesting way of dealing with the CC debt as coming due when 0% runs out on each – assume you’re talking just paying the mins and building the cash in reserve to clear at the end of the 0% term of each card here. Any advantage to me doing this? My brain isn’t really switched on been a long day ha.

 

Correct re having some cash in reserve if just dealing with the 0% when the dates become due as future spends are budgeted for. No can’t believe I’m writing that myself haha actually smiled to myself as I wrote that lol. Any ready made calcs I can use on excel to go through min payments and track what they’ll be over time – or am I going to have to do this manually?

 

BMW been accounted for the next six months. Having talked about it with my wife today I think we’ll likely let it go before that. We are ready to say bye bye and tbt don’t really need to wait for another car right now. We are using both cars but don’t need to iyswim the RR hardly being used as I’m piling the miles on the BMW get to the mileage without going over try to get a bit of value at least. I think I may review and pay for the BMW for the last time this coming month.

@Onebrokelady / @ladyholly That’s an interesting point, funny you should ‘look up’ at me in that way I do exactly the same with mates who have a lot more than I do 100%. Also thinking maybe not going to make my life better too.

 

@ladyholly FML the dog insurance is mental for yours but yeah probably going to be the case when they’re that age.

 

@Sun_Addict haha welcome to my world mate lol. Tbf I have a few mates with !!!!!! you money, not like that for them at all but that’s def a rarefied position seems to take either some real skill in business or generations tbh most I know it’s inherited / family wealth lucky !!!!!!.

 

@stymied only £2k/a worth of sinking fund tbh it’s a start but not really enough long term for this place. I’d likely remo for major works – nothing coming up in the near future all been done 6-7 years ago when we first bought the house. Something for me to consider though in a bit more detail 100%. I’d say thanks but you’ve just given me more financial commitments to worry about that isn’t buying an AM haha.

enthusiasticsaver

Well done on steering clear of the alcohol and substances for 33 days. Spending time with your family is not wasted time. Working on relationships is important.  Good that you talked about the IG use to your wife. We watched the Social Dilemma yesterday on how social media companies manipulate people into becoming addicts of social media itself and how it is causing mental health problems with young people particularly. Apparently it is connected to the dopamine rush people get if influencers like their posts or tag them or whatever. Companies like Facebook, IG and twitter filter comments so that we see only what the algorithms deem we should see to reinforce our own beliefs etc and this is how fake news spreads. If she is trying to live her life on a social media platform that is seriously weird. Good that you are both talking about how you want your life to be in the future though and I hope you can get through to her and she stays with you on this journey. As you say working through the stuff you are doing with the counsellor with her may help you both. 

So long as the second car is a joint decision and you have gone through the affordability figures with a clear head then I think that is your choice if you buy an AM or XJS or whatever but you have to realise it will have an impact elsewhere in the budget if you buy that on finance when you still have the RR to pay for as well. With interest rates so low I cannot see any advantage in building up cash to repay credit cards and just paying minimums but some do that. Not sure how that affects your credit record just paying minimums as well. 

RelievedSheff

So pleased that you have managed to have a proper chat with the wife. Hopefully some of it at least will have sunk in.

ladyholly

I think your wife has hit the nail on the head without realising it. She does not have enough to do so IG fills the time. Several people have suggested voluntary work when things start to open up again. Tennis coaching, reading at the local school (probably not needed at your sons school but do they have a parents association). Almost anything to give her an interest and to meet ordinary people and take her away from the social media stuff. 

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver thank you. Realised I'd not looked at any work stuff since Friday evening about 6pm today, felt sick tbh. Wife has liked me away from it for a weekend tbh idk not sure it's good for me to be wasting my weekends feels nice to relax but probably a bit destructive. 

Social Dilemma - is that Netflix? Might be a p1key and ask one of my staff if they've got a log in ha no desire to pay for it but 100 can see the companies filter comments etc. Yeah she lives her life on it trying to impress girls about 5-10 year younger then obsessing about her looks/ do they look better etc. All her conversation some days is showing me pics of other women asking me if they are fitter or what I think of their arms or lips or whatever !!!!!! mind numbing ha.

Hope we get there together improve our lives no more destructive stuff and my stress levels through to roof tbh but who knows.

Yeah not getting desperate over the car do right thing after running the figures and parking for a bit. Realistically I think the figures stack for us to forget about cars for a couple of years, get another car through business and really concentrate on the debts look at AM later. Nice thing about them if you buy the right one they don't lose any money so can enjoy it and sell for what you paid in deposit for next one - doesn't work with new ones obvs but the older ones retain value if not appreciate. 

Cards I'm currently planning on clearing on an equal amount basis per month eg if £12k debt and 12 months left on 0% paying £1k/m iyswim. Doesn’t quite work out like that until the two due July are paid after having another look at spreadsheet. Brain really not in right gear tonight haha probably should go to bed. 😆

@RelievedSheff ha you're not the only one lol. Had a really decent weekend for once tbh. Looking forward to getting back to it tomorrow but it's been nice in a bit of a guilty way to 'get away' lol.

alt80

@ladyholly she was interested in potentially doing sports coaching volunteering but got frustrated with finding anything tbh covid reasons 100%. Actually discussed the PT and nails again. Idk if anything will come of it though.