Am I being too cautious?

Katykat

My son is separating from his wife ( her decision, she said she doesn’t love him any more) They have been married 10 years & have 3 children. The house has just been sold, awaiting conveyancing. There won’t be much equity ( about £25k & he has said she can have that because she will need it to buy a house. Even with that & him paying child support, she will still need to claim benefits. There’s the rub. She has to be on benefits for 6 months before she can get a mortgage. But in order to claim, she has to be a single parent, which means he has to leave the home until it’s sold. And that’s what worries me. Things are very amicable between them right now but I’m afraid that if he leaves, even if they have shared custody, that it will be viewed as him abandoning the children. This would absolutely not be the case, he is a responsible parent and he earns a reasonable salary, but not enough to buy 2 houses. Am I being over anxious? What pitfalls could there be in this scenario?

ZaSa1418

If he gives her 25k that will affect her benefits too so there is no point in him moving out

gizmo111

that it will be viewed as him abandoning the children.
Viewed by who?  Presumably he would still see them if he was living separately from them?
Where will she live in the meantime?
I wasn't aware that you could get a mortgage with 100% benefits??

gizmo111

ZaSa1418 said:

If he gives her 25k that will affect her benefits too so there is no point in him moving out

I thought money from a sale of property earmarked for a next property was exempt as savings for a certain amount of time?

burlingtonfl6

Katykat said:

My son is separating from his wife ( her decision, she said she doesn’t love him any more) They have been married 10 years & have 3 children. The house has just been sold, awaiting conveyancing. There won’t be much equity ( about £25k & he has said she can have that because she will need it to buy a house. Even with that & him paying child support, she will still need to claim benefits. There’s the rub. She has to be on benefits for 6 months before she can get a mortgage. But in order to claim, she has to be a single parent, which means he has to leave the home until it’s sold. And that’s what worries me. Things are very amicable between them right now but I’m afraid that if he leaves, even if they have shared custody, that it will be viewed as him abandoning the children. This would absolutely not be the case, he is a responsible parent and he earns a reasonable salary, but not enough to buy 2 houses. Am I being over anxious? What pitfalls could there be in this scenario?

She isn't going to get a mortgage so don't worry about that.

AskAsk

when people get divorced, the man often move out as part of separation that is needed before divorce proceedings can be instigated.  it does not have any effect on custody as he hasn't abandoned the children.  it is what it going to happen when they are separated and divorced, so no difference.

boneoracle

If there is any real concern about him leaving the house and being perceived in a negative light for whatever reason  (custody hearing etc), I would suggest they sit down and work out some sort of document  of agreement, both sign it, and have it notarized  or whatnot. Either way it goes, it would most likely be a good idea, just in case, and better to do it now while things are amicable. 

ontheroad1970

burlingtonfl6 said:

Katykat said:

My son is separating from his wife ( her decision, she said she doesn’t love him any more) They have been married 10 years & have 3 children. The house has just been sold, awaiting conveyancing. There won’t be much equity ( about £25k & he has said she can have that because she will need it to buy a house. Even with that & him paying child support, she will still need to claim benefits. There’s the rub. She has to be on benefits for 6 months before she can get a mortgage. But in order to claim, she has to be a single parent, which means he has to leave the home until it’s sold. And that’s what worries me. Things are very amicable between them right now but I’m afraid that if he leaves, even if they have shared custody, that it will be viewed as him abandoning the children. This would absolutely not be the case, he is a responsible parent and he earns a reasonable salary, but not enough to buy 2 houses. Am I being over anxious? What pitfalls could there be in this scenario?

She isn't going to get a mortgage so don't worry about that.

Did you have sensitivity removed at birth?  Nearly every response you give is insensitive and snarky.  Just sayin...

Katykat

gizmo111 said:

that it will be viewed as him abandoning the children.
Viewed by who?  Presumably he would still see them if he was living separately from them?
Where will she live in the meantime?
I wasn't aware that you could get a mortgage with 100% benefits??

She won’t be claiming 100% benefits. She does work, but doesn’t earn enough for a mortgage. Apart from me being very upset about the separation, I am also very uneasy about the whole benefits thing. They want to work out their finances themselves without the CSA but I feel that if she claims benefits, the DWP may insist on involving the CSA. I don’t like it at all.  

TBagpuss

I would suggest that your son looks at the CMS calculator to see what he would be expected to pay, so he knows what his potential liability will be.
He doesn't need to move out in order for her to be able to apply for benefits or for either of them to be able to start divorce proceedings, as both of those things are worked out based on whether you are living together as a couple . 
Of course, the *amount* of benefits she may be able to claim will depend on  the arrangements for sharing the outgoings on the house but there is nothing to stop her making an initial claim.

Is the suggestion that she has all of the equity on the basis of your son not paying (or paying a reduced level of) child support? If that is the case he needs to be aware that it is very difficult to contract out of the CMS rules so if they are thinking along those lines then he absolutely needs to ensure that there is a properly drafted court order in place before any money is passed over.
If staying away from the CMS simply means that they are agreeing maintenance between themselves rather than formally through the CMS then that is very normal and sensible. He can protect himself by ensuring, once he starts paying, that he does so by standing order using something like 'child support' as the reference so he has a paper trail.

Of course, he only starts paying child maintenance once he does move out so it may be simplest for them to both stay in the house until it sells, but to live as housemates not as a couple.

I do not think the the DWP would force her to go to the CMS as  child support is not taken into account for benefit claims - only spousal maintenance. 

Katykat

Thank you TBagpuss for your informative post. They are living as “ housemates” and they intend to sort out their finances themselves. And him giving her the equity is in exchange for a reduced level of child support for a specific length of time. I will advise him to draw up a written agreement and name any standing order “ child support”.