How much to save monthly for my daughter and my stepson?

vpdbac

Hello friends,
My wife and I have a 15mo and we've just opened a regular savings account to put some money aside each monthly for her. We don't know how much to save. My SO has been putting £50 a month into her 5yo son's account since pretty much he was born. But we don't know how much, if anything his father has been saving.

Scenarios we can foresee...

a. He turns 18 with X from us and nothing from his dad.
b. He turns 18 with X from us and Y from his dad.
c. She turns 18 with X from us.

d. She turns 18 with X+Y from us both

a+c & b+d are fine.

but b+c and a+d are going to cause some friction.

How do we make this fair? What has everyone else in this situation done please?

thank you. 

AlanP_2

Personally I would ignore what the 5yos father may be doing, you have no idea so why worry about it?

In terms of fairness giving them both the same from "your current family unit" seems the best idea to me. Yes, they may end up with different amounts at 18 but that's just the way it works out across siblings over time.

adam06_2

I agree, just ignore what the other dad has done.
Setting aside £50 a month for 18 years is £7200 which most 18 year olds would be over the moon with...but I would invest it in a junior stocks and shares isa rather than a regular saver to beat inflation...

xylophone

Does each child have a JISA?

vpdbac

Neither child has a JISA. Although it sounds like that is something we should be rectifying.

I looked up regular saver on MSE and the official recommendation was the Halifax a/c paying 4%.

vpdbac

AlanP_2 said:

Personally I would ignore what the 5yos father may be doing, you have no idea so why worry about it?

The worry is that my stepson gets £7k+£7k from his parents and my daughter gets £7k from her parents. I think I'll feel pretty bad. 

I need to sit with this and think about it. 

Zorillo

There is no solution to this dilemma unless your are on trusting and speaking terms with your stepson's father and you can agree something.

What I think I would do is save both an x figure and a y figure for your daughter, but hold back the y figure until you are sure what the father will do for your step son. In the event he fails to do anything, you could then split the y figure between both children.

You will always be 'at risk' of the other father doing something nice for his son, but that's life. The best you can do is hope to match or improve on whatever he does as best you can.

DireEmblem

There is a fifth option.  Knowing some of my friends, and how I would have acted receiving that kind of money when I was 18-21, and where I am now, I would rather that sum was kept aside until I wanted to get on the property ladder to help for my deposit.

The problem you will have trying to even things out is difficult.  The only way I think you could remotely attempt it, is to either consider only the funds from yourselves, as treating them equal.  That being your £50 each set aside a month.

Second to that, you could decide to save a third pot.  Keep this aside, and if the father of child A, gives 5k, then stick aside 5k for child B and split the rest.  The issue then being that child B would still have 5 years ahead of A, to earn more income.

mazzetti

I would not even consider putting it in a savings account over an 18-year period

fairyclairethehare

Over the next 13-18 years there are going to be numerous instances of when your stepchild gets something additional to your own child. Additional Christmas or Birthday presents, different treats, holidays etc, and that without looking at grandparents and extended family.
The fairest thing is to treat them them both equally from your finances, you can never ensure complete parity overall when you have step children.

xylophone

https://www.gov.uk/junior-individual-savings-accounts

https://moneytothemasses.com/quick-savings/parents/best-junior-stocks-and-shares-isa

In terms of a cash account, the NS&I JISA currently offers 3.25%.