A new royal start

QueenJess

Just a quick check in today as I’m meant to be leaving in 30 mins for a day out at the museum with DH, DS and the in laws (keep your fingers crossed for air con!). Some quality time with DS without DD (at nursery) as she takes up so much time, so he’s due lots. I’m not showered, dressed or packed my bag yet!

Been very busy spring cleaning and there is regularly 3-4 parcels outside the door for people to pick up. Still trying to clear up the mess after clearing out the kids stuff - is it possible to spring clean/declutter without making more of a mess first? I don’t think so..😀 DS was fab and got rid of so much stuff it was unreal! He even made me do extra yesterday as he insisted he wanted to do more as he was having so much fun! Hopefully post clear up and the usual continuous decluttering will make an impact and make me feel better about the house. I’ve also packed up some toys for rotation in a month or so. It was quite enlightening to see everything and that we’ve bought the kids almost nothing…. it’s all hand me downs or presents from grandparents really.

Anyway, aside from the aggressive decluttering happening, I’ve checked out the Xmas lists and I only have 2 things to get for the kids outside of food snacks (chocolate shapes for DS that I make for him). DD is getting 3 presents and one of those is books, the other snacks from DS. She really doesn’t need anything and she’ll be bombarded with stuff from family. DS has a couple of extra tiny things, but we never go mad with this sort of thing. I am busy sourcing the two extra things and I’ve already done most of DS and DD’s birthday lists too! Feeling very organised there!

As always tons of things to do, but they are always there. As long as progress is being made that will do as I am prioritising time with DS.

Went to a workshop on Monday with DS and took a book to read, but didn’t even open it as unusually there were more younger kids DS’s age and so a couple of mums stayed. I chatted to them and it was lovely to speak to some normal people for a while! I never found anyone (despite my best efforts) whilst DS was a baby and I remember getting weird looks if you even suggested you weren’t living some sort of perfect life now you had a baby. Chatted about sleep, schools, juggling work and kids etc and was so happy we were on the same wavelength and got some good insights comments. Made me feel a bit more normal really (although I generally don’t care about being different, it is nice to find people to talk to who think the same). I will think about part time working still based on the conversation I had (one of them was in a similar role to me and understood) or maybe biting the bullet and doing self employed consulting.

Yikes - better run before I run out of time. DH is reminding me we are leaving in 30 mins. Bit cheeky really as he is the one who is always faffing around and we wait around for him 🤣

Budget is totally shot at the moment and my brain refuses to leave holiday mode. I think I will just be having quite a few frugal months to catch up as soon as holiday is done!

QueenJess

Having a bit of a lazy day today. DS had a friend coming round to play this afternoon that mainly won’t involve me anymore, so I am spending the day doing boring chores (washing, tidying, changing the beds) and hopefully will have time to make banana and chocolate chip flapjacks with the two very black bananas as well as an apple and redcurrant crumble with the soft apples and the huge amount of redcurrants from the garden. May get round to doing some more decluttering as well.

Although I’ve overspent this holidays, my budget is no longer realistic given the increases in food, petrol, energy (although I am on a fix until December so a huge hike in Jan expected) as well as the increase in nursery bills coming next week. I haven’t actually changed my budget this year. I was thinking of increasing the budget by 10%. I know I’m lucky to be able to do this, but if I do it there may be a question mark over being able to quit work for a couple of years. If I don’t do it, we will have to cut right back and forgo things like holidays. Having considered it, I think I’ll increase the budget, but try and be as frugal as I can on day to day stuff, try to beat budget and save as much as I can into the joint account. Will see how it all goes for a bit.

Dinner today will be fish and chips (it’s Friday!) followed by the crumble and cream. Lunch I’m not sure about, but looks like DH might be off out to meet a friend with DS, so in that case I’ll use up the ys crumpets and make them into mini pizzas with red pesto (needs to be used up from the fridge), cheese and some salad.

Edit: School uniform was duly checked and the relevant bits ordered. Even soaked the white polo shirts for the maximum possible time and ran them through the wash with another dose of whitener. They are not sparkling white, but are good enough. DS will go rolling in the dirt and ruin them after a week anyway. Boys.. 🙄 Sadly I think DD is going to need new shoes. I’ll have to take her to town to get her feet measured as I doubt I can get her to sit still enough for me here.

QueenJess

Wow, it’s been a while, but to be honest I’ve been enjoying having time off and not being in a rush to do anything. Still not checked through all finances in detail, but we will be cutting back now as the bank account looks a bit dire and winter will be expensive. However, I have done Xmas presents and birthday presents for almost all the winter stuff and after school club is paid up to the end of the year. Fingers crossed for a reasonable pay rise in November, although I haven’t got high hopes of that.

Back to reality tomorrow as I’m back to work and I am totally dreading it. Having time off made me realise how much I dislike the place. Still can’t afford to leave, so will have to make the most of it until at least March next year, although with the prices of stuff increasing I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford time out. Will have to reassess closer to then and in the meantime keep a close eye on the finances and save what I can. I’ll be starting to go through the finances this week, although it will take me some time to do this.

We moved DD into her own room this week and she was totally disinterested by the whole thing and not bothered at all. It does mean she goes back to sleep herself easier as she can’t see me right there, but still insists on 2-3 milk sessions a night so sleep for me is still very much lacking.

We are out today so I’ve packed a picnic for us all, although I’m sure we can stretch to ice creams later. Dinner tonight is trying to use up freezer stuff - so burgers with sweet potato fries and sweetcorn. Pudding is a plum and apple creeping crust cobbler and vegan cream that I made yesterday with the veg box fruit.

QueenJess

First day back at work today and I already hate it. It’s basically jamming a whole other life of stuff to do into my day. Something has to give and the things I have to give up are the things I enjoy (like baking etc); in which case I wonder what the point is given I am reducing my quality of life? I’ve been waiting about 3 years to leave, but never have as somehow it seems silly to pass up good money. 

I guess it’s all a bit irrelevant since I can’t afford to leave until March (if I can afford it anyway with all the cost of living increases). I think I need to start cutting back and see where I get to. The problem is that the stuff that saves money tends to take time and with work I don’t have that time. It’s a bit of a circular problem 🤔

Anyway, big stock up tomorrow with things I cannot buy elsewhere as it’s with a more expensive sm, but I have a really good discount offer (£x off if you spend £x). As work is busy for both me and DH for the next month and a half, I hope we will only have to pick up the odd thing (we already have fruit, veg and milk delivered).

Dinner tonight was scraped together from the fridge/freezer. We had salmon with red pesto, the last of the potatoes, chard, the last courgette and some of the carrots. Pudding will be the creeping crust plum and apple cobbler with vegan cream. It’s quite rich so a little goes a long way.. we’ll be eating it for a while yet!

Bluegreen143

Sounds like you had a lovely few weeks off @QueenJess. As always I relate so much to what you write and it reminds me of myself a couple of years ago (in terms of stages of the kids). Agree that the enjoyable money saving stuff like cooking from scratch is very hard to sustain when working. 

I’d love to be a SAHM again and also dislike the culture at my workplace but am slowly accepting that no way could we afford me not to work with all the cost of living increases now. 

But if you can’t quit altogether in March could you at least be free to job hunt, drop hours or as your say go self employed? Even going part time could give you a few extra hours to do the stuff which makes you feel you’ve got quality of life. After tax etc it often doesn’t make such a huge difference to cut a few hours a week. 

QueenJess

@Bluegreen143, yes, I was considering asking for part time next year as I would have nothing to lose. My ultimate boss does 4 days a week and so do a couple of others, so that would be possible. I’d prefer 3 days. My only concern would be taking a salary cut and then still having to do the same work but in a shorter week.  I’m still considering options as I can do nothing until next year anyway.

Went to do a massive shop today to use up my voucher. It was not a good shop and totally random as between DD waking me up and DS randomly shouting in his sleep, I’ve had less than 3 hours sleep. Anyway, not much I can do about that now, but will try and at least make the food last as long as possible.  DH is working late tonight so I’m on child duty.  DD is being a pain and not going to sleep right now and I still need to make dinner for me and DS. It will be beans on toast as I haven’t the energy. Still got plenty of cobbler for pudding.

Already busy at work and will probably get worse for the next month or so. A bit sick of always working in my own and having no one to talk to, so I’ve contacted some people in different countries/divisions to talk through some of the things I am doing and get their perspective. At least I’ll feel a bit less crazy and they may appreciate the work I’ve been doing. No one realises in my department so I know I’ll never get credit for it, which is very frustrating when I did a massive complex project all on my own 🙄. Oh well….

One thing that cheered me up today (apart from ys croissants I brought home as a nice breakfast treat) was my second hand wellies arriving. I’m really excited to be able to go puddle jumping with the kids in the autumn! I’ve also got myself some more new to me leggings as mine are past the point of being able to mend anymore and a nice warm hoodie (new to me) to wear whilst working at home in the winter. Too much spending recently though and September will definitely need to be frugal. Who knows when I’ll have the time to go back through my finances from May. On the plus side I’ve basically done birthdays and Xmas for the winter bar a couple of subscriptions I have to do at the time.

QueenJess

Aggghhhhhh… already feel like I can’t take anymore work wise. So I did a 4 month ish project entirely on my own and off my own back. Turns out that no one is the slightest bit interested in the significant improvements made and the time I’ve saved going forwards. I asked if they wanted me to go through it and they said no, they don’t need to know. It’s so depressing..  also, not a good way to motivate staff. I keep thinking about how loads of companies would love to have my skills and I could earn more money by charging myself out to them.

I need to do some work tonight but just can’t bring myself to do any this evening. Instead I am throwing on an emergency pizza that I always have in the freezer (beans on toast for DS), cracking open the raspberry lemonade and putting my feet up and pretending it might all go away. We also still have the creeping crust cobbler and cream for pudding.

Lunch today was toasted bagel with smoked salmon and scrambled egg which I served to DH whilst he was stuck in endless meetings. I even provided him with fresh raspberries and yogurt for a pudding.

QueenJess

Oh dear, I feel like every August bank holiday is doomed. This time last year I was in hospital with DD. Today it looks like DS has had a bad allergic reaction to what we think were consuming nuts. Rang the doctor for a consultation, got an appointment booked for a couple of weeks time and ran out to get his some antihistamines. He’s still feeling bad. Luckily it’s not bad enough for hospital, but it is sufficiently worrying that I will be up most or all the night tonight checking on him and also giving him another dose. I know how serious it can be and so I am going to have to alert the school and give him a pack lunch until we get more back from the doctor. 

I am trying to use my time wisely to get a few things done that I never get round to and I’m just about to make a start on reviewing the finances. If I get to the point where I can’t stay awake anymore and don’t feel sufficiently happy to leave DS, I’ll have to set an alarm and wake up DH. It is getting better, but not nearly as quickly as I would like.

I hope everyone else is having a more successful weekend!

On a money saving front, I’ve ordered a pair of night lights for the kids as I keep a normal side light on for both as DS doesn’t like it too dark and I need enough light to feed DD in the night. The night lights are very low wattage so hopefully they’ll save me a few pennies.

Jessy103

Hope DS is ok x

QueenJess

@Jessy103 thanks - DS is fine and the antihistamines and a really good sleep helped. I am being very careful to avoid nuts. Although it is a new thing for me, I have family members with other intolerances and it feels very easy to avoid nuts compared to intolerances like wheat, gluten, dairy etc. I always read the back of packets anyway and 99% of our food is made from scratch anyway. Apparently DS tells me that he has the best and healthiest lunch box at his summer club!

I’m only partway through the finance review (I got bored after a while of going through it) and the finances look a bit dire right now. September is going to have to be a very frugal month and probably the rest of the year. Need to very much get back on the frugal wagon. I have a fair amount of food in and aside from milk, veg and fruit deliveries, I’m trying to buy as little as I can get away with this month. I know it’s a small thing, but I was planning to go to the shops tomorrow as we are down to the last banana that I put in DS’s lunchbox for tomorrow - but we get more fruit on Thursday and I have enough other options and dried fruit I can use instead. I will not be shopping until we need something urgently!