A new royal start

MagicCat

Look after yourself, things sound tough going at the moment.

Aimingforthegoodlife

Happy belated birthday, I am sorry it wasn't the day it should have been, the chocolate cheesecake did sound incredible! Take care of yourself, I will look out for when you return

themadvix

Hey Jess, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you - hope all is OK. x

QueenJess

Hey all - thanks for your messages.  I'm not really great, but really trying hard to pull my socks up and sort myself out.  DH is still working all hours and not sure we've said more than a sentence to each other for weeks.  Anything I say, he isn't listening and just staring at a laptop screen (this is making the below issue worse).

Anyway, short version is I filled in the NHS questionnaire thing and scored very highly for depression and then researched possible solutions they suggest.  As everything changes this month for me and I will get lots more time back, I am following the first suggestion of "wait and see".  So I am trying to think of things I would like to do in March just because I want to.  This may include a day of slobbing around... 

DD went to nursery for a few short hours Monday and Tuesday and is in for a school day from now on.  She is actually taking to it really well and the upset is minimum.  I think I'm more upset than she is!  Apparently she is just as vocal at nursery and very quick to tell people when she needs something.  I really do think nursery will do her the world of good as she is so demanding and needs 100% attention and entertaining all day.  That doesn't really work when you have to do things like cook food, eat food yourself and put washing on..  I'm hoping she's just really smart and so needs engagement rather than just demanding!

As it's half term, I am attempting to spend time with DS as he just gets a bit ignored with DD around.  We've been to the library, to visit his friend, out for lunch, out to the toy shop, fed the ducks, played lego, finally rearranged his lego into the drawers and labelled it so he can find everything and made some fairy cakes to decorate later.  I'm planning to go to the park and to the National Trust for a trail thingy and cake too.  Then from Tuesday next week my time is my own in the middle of the day.

Not sure what's happening other than that.  I have been just doing lazy cooking as I can't really be bothered, but starting to do a bit today and so I have parsnips roasting in the oven today for a lovely spicy soup for lunch with some sourdough I picked up yesterday.  Food budget blown and tbh I've not been tracking any of that - it's not high on the list right now.  I did discover a yogurt I really like that is dairy free, so I've switched to that one.  That's now butter, yogurt and milk switched and I honestly don't notice the difference.  Probably lots of environmental aims for March I would like to do, but will think about those later.  I did just unsubscribe from some magazine things that I keep getting sent from places I once bought something from years ago and I know I wouldn't have subscribed to.  Will save some paper and hopefully reduce my recycling bin.

Hope everyone else is ok.  I've probably got lots of diaries to catch up on.  Oh I nearly forgot, but the storm hit us last week and took out electricity which wasn't ideal as we are electricity only.  It took 22 hours to come back on, but I was worried if the temperature should drop overnight then DD might get a bit cold.  Thank goodness we have super thick walls, insulation and triple glazing!  We did have to go out for a takeaway and ate it by battery powered candlelight.  DH went out in the car just before dark to try and get a connection (mobile reception was non existent as without broadband the network fell over).  He comes back and I ask him what the situation was with the latest status for electricity and he says "I don't know, I just tried to get work emails."  So there you have it - that was his priorities.  I was trying to refresh the status but it wasn't working, looking after two children, figuring out how to feed two children without opening the fridge and freezer and also making sure all the torches were working and all the candles had working batteries to place around the house so we didn't hurt ourselves.

Nothing was damaged in the storm, although there was a 3 storey tree that fell down and took out 2 fences diagonally behind us and into next doors garden.  Luckily it missed furniture, BBQ's, patios, trampolines (and the house)!  It couldn't have fallen in a better direction.  No one was hurt either, so quite fortuitous.

MagicCat

Hi QueenJess, sorry to hear you're feeling low.  I hope your husband's work calms down soon and it gives you a bit more timre to look after yourself, hopefully the nursery start will help too, v glad to hear it's gone so well, am dreading settling in with my youngest in April.
I always say it, but you are amazing with all you get done. Really don't feel bad if you have to let some things slide a bit, or if you do need more support with your mood. Have been there and it's not easy but you will get through it. Sending virtual hugs 💐

QueenJess

Today was the first day since my birthday I've felt better enough to look through my book lists and order myself some books (second hand of course).  I was given money to order my own books (as I insist on second hand) for my birthday and I have now spent a bit of it.  Looking forward to reading those/perusing them when they come through.

Doing a few chores this morning, playing with DS and then after lunch, I'm taking DS to the National Trust for a trial thingy and cake.  Desperately need to plan meals for the weekend at least(!) and finalise my bulk monthly stock up A*di order for tomorrow.  May be a task for tonight.  Today's lunch is spicy parsnip soup from yesterday (need to freeze some of it too) for me and DH (working from home) and DS will have cheese sandwiches with grapes and carrot sticks.  Fairy cakes for after as decorated by DS yesterday.  Dinner will be fish, chips and beans and pudding is fruit and yogurt or muffins from the freezer and ice cream.

DD is all over the shop at the moment with sleep etc as nursery is completely knackerring her out.  Means I didn't get much sleep last night and am tired today.  Hopefully she'll get into the routine soon.  Other than that, she's been brilliant and seems to take to it really easily.

Looking forward to slobbing around, doing lots of fun cooking/baking, finishing spring cleaning DS and DD's rooms and thinking about more environmental stuff I can work on next week when everyone is out during the day!

Small environmental stuff done/I'm working on (every little helps..):

• DD is successfully installed at nursery with her reusable nappies and wipes.  Surprisingly the person I talked to was really supportive and said what I was doing was brilliant!
• My dairy yogurt has been swapped with non-dairy.  I have also stopped eating chicken for the past couple of weeks (still make it for DH/DS) and not missed it.  Not sure if this is a permanent thing or not, but if I am apathetic about it I figure there's no point.  If I really want to eat it then I will.
• I am stealth cleaning DS's room and really wanted a document folder/box or something for all his school stuff he brings home.  I know he won't keep it forever, but I don't see any harm in him keeping it for now and he can decide to get rid of it at a later date.  I resisted the urge and hunted round the house for something I could use.  I found a perfect size box from a delivery and they have been re-homed and the box labelled.  It's only going in a cupboard, so doesn't need to look fancy.
  
• Unsubscribing to any catalogues that come through the door.  I don't get many and I definitely never subscribed to them in the first place!
  
• I am trying to cut down the emails I receive, but only get round to dealing with it in the evenings and so I try not to spend much time on it.  I have been trialing dealing with 10 emails a day and unsubscribing (if appropriate or possible) as I go.  In my mind, I really should be getting very little  email and it is interesting to see I always get more than 10 a day and so the total keeps going up (I do scan it all to deal with anything urgent!).  I'm sure I'll just end up blitzing it at some point, but it would be nice to tip the balance and it reduce.  I also refuse to waste my life on admin and don't want tons of emails around!
  
• I've been going through my phone and trying to make the battery last longer by turning off background refresh for as many apps as possible, disabling as many notifications as possible (thought I had done this, but still had some I didn't need), making sure I didn't have location services on anything I didn't need and turning on low power mode.  I already dim the screen quite a lot because bright screens give me migraines.
• Ordered some books (second hand) and had been collecting a list for a while until I had a reasonable amount to order at once rather than ordering a book here and there.  Also got a couple of veggie cookbooks in there.
  

QueenJess

Still really struggling and just can't think straight, not helped by DD being all over the place and so I've had even less sleep than usual this week.  Hopefully she'll slide into a routine soon.  I think all the walking she's been doing everyday is also tiring her out.

Trying hard to eat well as I like to eat like this anyway and it's one of the things on the list to help with depression.  So today I made omelette for lunch.  DD and DS had cheese and pea with broccoli and carrots.  DH and I had cheese, tomato and mushroom with carrots and broccoli cooked with sesame seeds.  Pudding was fruit and yogurt all round.  Dinner is in the oven and will be lamb shanks with mashed potato, red cabbage and peas.  Pudding is an apple crumble and vanilla ice cream or maybe dairy free cream.  DD ate her dinner earlier.  She is partly getting into eating what we are eating now and I'm a big advocate for everyone eating together and the same thing, even if we eat very early as a result.  I'm trying to do about half of the meals where she eats my cooking to alleviate the pressure a bit as she still needs her dinner way to early for us to eat (4pm!).

Tried to also spend some quality time with DS (difficult as DD is so demanding all the time and I feel so sorry for him).  Also need to resist my urge to hideaway at the moment which I think is a function of the depression.  Whilst DD was in a longer nap I played lego with DS.  Also played outside in the garden for over an hour with DS and DD.

Got some jobs done today as well.  Picked up the epic A*di order and not sure if I can squeeze it all into the freezer now.  I have a whole bag of bread related products which I need to get in there.  Going to try tomorrow now as I've just taken a few things out for dinners etc.  I do have a bit of space in the very tiny kitchen freezer, so will try and ram some things in there to make some space.  It is all organised everywhere, so I can find everything at least.  Washing done and hung out (not put any away though) and beds all changed.

Trying to think of things to look forward to doing next week.  Probably sorting some things out that I'm sick of looking at, lovely baking/cooking and may pop to the garden centre to get some easy seeds to grow (salad, herbs etc).  I've also decided on the plant to fill a hole in the garden, but don't want to order it/get it yet as it looks like it might be raining too much next week for me to get to it.

QueenJess

Bit broken today as DD has a cold (predictable really for first week of nursery). She decided she had to have her dummy even though she can’t breathe properly and despite trying loads of things, I spent most the night cuddling her upright whilst she slept.

Not much planned for today and DH has taken DD out for the afternoon so I can slob around/play with DS. Washing is done and dinner is prepped. I also managed to ram all the bread into the freezer, but it’s very full now! Just need to tidy the floors so the cleaner can actually clean tomorrow. Everything else is delayed.

Still trying to eat as well as I can. Lunch today was leek, cheese and pea orzotto (overused, but everyone loves it), followed by grapes and yogurt. Dinner is a roast with chicken leftovers from the freezer (not for me though), sage and onion stuffing, hm Yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes, broccoli, carrots and parsnips. Also a small quantity of red cabbage I defrosted but was too much for yesterdays dinner. Pudding is apple crumble with vegan cream/custard/ice cream. Just had a hot chocolate, but I needed some sugar to stay awake!

QueenJess

Not sure where the day has gone already.  Won't be long until I need to do the school and nursery run.  First day of being on my own and I have an enormous list of things I want to get through this month before I have to go back to work (not looking forward to that..).

Today I've made two lots of flapjacks - one lot for me/DH with seeds and dried fruit and the other with banana and chocolate chips for DS (made with some dodgy looking bananas).  Also made myself a soup for lunch out of chopped onion, random spices, veg stock and a huge pile of veg and potato peelings from the freezer.  Was quite nice and I have enough for the next couple of days as well.  Dinner tonight will be fast as DH isn't here when I need to cook so a cheat kedgeree with packet rice, frozen sweetcorn, frozen peas and smoked mackerel.  Still got apple crumble and vegan cream for pudding.  I actually prefer the taste of the vegan one and weirdly DH wanted to have it (think it was because he knew I would then get his pudding for him..) and he prefers it too.  Who would have thought that from a self confessed milk/meat addict!

Also managed to take apart the double bed in DD's room and listed it up for free.  Will have to arrange for the council to take the mattress away (it is literally falling to pieces).  Spring cleaned most the room, but have the last few bits to go and some tidying up and then it'll be ready for DD to move into at some point.

Right, better go and clear up the kitchen mess I made, pack stuff for pick up (sticker books and books to read as there is an annoying 20 mins between pick ups) and see if I can get some washing on or a bit of tidying.  Will have to finalise my meal plan later so I can make sure I am ordering the minimum possible for my fruit/veg box this week to watch the pennies.  Everything else will still be on the list to work through tomorrow.  Trying to stay busy and not obsessively watch news as the war, climate change and cost of living crisis is so depressing and not really helping me.  I can only do what I can do.

QueenJess

Urgh, it is World book day again. I forget about this every year and when it comes I remember why I hate it so much.

I absolutely love books (I mean I changed a spare bedroom into my house into a library - no space for guests to stay here 😂), but it feels like the whole day is all about dressing up and buying fancy costumes. I don’t want DS to feel left out, but I also have no desire to make it all about the costume (I hate dressing up myself and DS doesn’t like it either, but wants to as everyone else is) and get something for one day for one year. 

Maybe I could have got something cheap second hand, but they only remind you about it a few days before when it’s too late.
DH dropped DD off at nursery and made an excuse for her not to be dressed up. That made me really annoyed. Why would you make an excuse? She’s 11 months old!! Anyway, rant over for now…

Right, better get on otherwise the day disappears before I’ve done anything and I’ve got a huge list of things to get done today.