The Estate is a mess, I'm sole executor and ready to string myself up! HELP

ames1010

Really really hope that you can get the outcome you deserve in all of this - please keep us updated and keep strong, please. You can do this! 

miss_curly

Brynsam said:

MoneySeeker1 said:

You do need to have a back-up approach as to what will happen if he turns out to be a nasty/mean/grabby sort instead and obviously has every intention of leaving you to carry his half share of the burden - as well as your own half share of it.

Or the sort of person who believes that his mother knew what she was doing and believes in honouring her intentions? So far we've had one side of the story from someone who is clearly reacting in a completely OTT way, given the silly post about tying a noose etc.

I don't really do OTT and there's nothing silly about my post, please don't comment on my mental state in connection with this.

My brother had virtually nothing to do with my mum, he wasn't interested in her. She removed him from being her company director in the early 90's because he wasn't trustworthy, unfortunately I was installed instead because at that time there had to be 2 directors. I lost my life to caring for my mothers business and her personal well being after she was widowed at the age of 39. I should have been seeking my own career and opportunities but I was stuck in a role earning 150 a week (to date) to support her. I was stuck in a business I neither understood or liked and both she and I believed that it would work out okay for me in the end. 

MoneySeeker1

So sorry to hear he is an "expletive deleted" sort of person. He is taking the michael bigtime then - from both your mother and yourself. What a *****.

He thought he could have it both ways by the sound of it - you get the lions share of the care and he gets the lions share of the money.

Don't forget to stop these accountants bang in their tracks instantly with spending any more of your money. Quick little thought on that one - I wonder if he's personal friends with one of those accountants....hmmm.......(nice little opportunity for him to do a bit of "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" with accountant friend if so.....).

Sounds to me like you could do with someone telling you what someone told me once. That friend said to me "The trouble with you is you are a nice person and, because you are a nice person, you think They will treat you the same way you would treat them. I am telling you you are Wrong. They will treat you a LOT worse than you would treat them. Be aware of that". That friend was absolutely spot-on, as it turned out, and I was able to anticipate every move they made after that by just thinking "Now what is the exact opposite of what I personally would do?". After that - I could see what they were going to do next - before they did it and I was prepared to deal with it the best way I could. It's not easy to put oneself into the mindset of "If I were a nasty/selfish/etc sort of person with no morals whatsoever then what would I do next to "Me - as I really am"?". But that was one of the single most helpful comments anyone has ever made to me - as I was duly prepared for the next "whack at me" that they did...

It looks like you would be best off having a chat with a solicitor and telling them what the situation is/what brother is like and asking how best to proceed with trying to get the situation sorted out as best possible for yourself. Would be worth paying for an hour or so of solicitor time to try and establish the best way you can to protect yourself from this brother stealing any more from you.

Good luck!

getmore4less

Wonder if some of the £50k bill is not estate admin expenses but business related that should be paid by the business. 

Middlestitch

miss_curly said:

So, its four years on from my mothers date of death.
In a nut shell there has been a particularly tricky house to sell and its taken 3 and a half years to find the buyer. I haven't got the exchange yet so fingers crossed. I inherit 'the residue' of my mothers Estate whilst my brother inherits her business or rather shares in her business.

After my brother pushing me to use his London accountant to deal with the numbers part of all of this and the bill is accruing at somewhere in the region of 50k currently (i feel sick writing that) I am told by them this morning that their entire bill, solicitors and running of the Estate is all to be born out of my inheritance ONLY. Taking a huge gulp to swallow my bile I asked why and surely this cant be correct?! Is it? My brother walks away without having to meet half of the costs incurred in dealing with the estate because he inherits the business (or shares which is somewhere in the region of 1M) and I 'the residue' (I feel like residue) have all costs taken out of my pot less than half my brothers inheritance.

Can this be correct?  

Depends what the will says. Slating your brother is neither here nor there; that's the document you need to be looking at, and all the well-meaning but misguided posts suggesting otherwise aren't going to get you anywhere. You do seem to have a history of just going along with what other people suggest/want, rather than checking things out or standing your ground, and sometimes that approach comes back to bite you.

If you haven't done so already, get yourself some independent legal advice to see if any costs can legitimately be set against your brother's inheritance, but don't get your hopes up. From what you've said here, it seems more than a little unlikely.

Malthusian

How much will the business be worth if you resign as director, which would seem to leave it rudderless? (That would leave your brother effectively in charge as his kids own the shares and presumably he is trustee for their money until they turn 18.)

You say you were "purely a nominee shareholder". Who is the beneficial owner of those shares?

I lost my life to caring for my mothers business and her personal well being after she was widowed at the age of 39. I should have been seeking my own career and opportunities but I was stuck in a role earning 150 a week (to date) to support her. I was stuck in a business I neither understood or liked and both she and I believed that it would work out okay for me in the end.

This sounds like grounds for a claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependents) Act to me, assuming you are in England / Wales. You would need to ask a solicitor, but I'm sure I've read about courts taking the view that a dependent who worked in the family business / farm for many years for a pittance had a reasonable expectation of receiving a share in that business.

Tealblue

Malthusian said:

How much will the business be worth if you resign as director, which would seem to leave it rudderless? (That would leave your brother effectively in charge as his kids own the shares and presumably he is trustee for their money until they turn 18.)

You say you were "purely a nominee shareholder". Who is the beneficial owner of those shares?

I lost my life to caring for my mothers business and her personal well being after she was widowed at the age of 39. I should have been seeking my own career and opportunities but I was stuck in a role earning 150 a week (to date) to support her. I was stuck in a business I neither understood or liked and both she and I believed that it would work out okay for me in the end.

This sounds like grounds for a claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependents) Act to me, assuming you are in England / Wales. You would need to ask a solicitor, but I'm sure I've read about courts taking the view that a dependent who worked in the family business / farm for many years for a pittance had a reasonable expectation of receiving a share in that business.

If OP didn't even understand the business it's unlikely they would have added much value, so don't expect any sort of mega-award any time soon. Repeat the advice to OP: get proper legal advice.

onwards&upwards

If it’s making you feel this bad, just do whatever you need to do to get it wrapped up and over ASAP.  It’s already dragged on for far too long and the benefits of it being finished and not having to deal with it (or your brother) again will be far more valuable than the financial hit you’ve taken. 

MoneySeeker1

Well - once this is over and concluded one way or another (and hopefully satisfactorily) then it helps with the "drawing a line" underneath the problem situation by cutting ties (literally and figuratively) with it. So - never having any contact again with the perpetrator (once it has all been resolved as best possible) and symbolic "tie-cutting" (which one time I took to mean literally cutting up every single photo I had and duly got the scissors out and did so).

It's perfectly fair to tell anyone and everyone (particularly those that know the perpetrator) exactly what they did to you. It might save them "coming to grief" at the hands of the person concerned (because they've got involved with them - either personally or in "business"). It might help karma come back at the perpetrator - because of other people knowing they aren't to be trusted to act fairly/honestly.

But - first - get it sorted in the best way you can. Then - cut ties/tell absolutely everyone/etc/etc.