Uni students eating me out of house and home

Spendless

Hi. well I've done a full grocery shop again today and mostly bought stuff for meals. The students have  mostly sorted out their own snacks now, either buying themselves or creating from what's in their fridge. A huge favourite for snacks seems to be nachos, where they grate cheese and salsa over abag of tortilla chips and then blast in the microwave. They've been using some jars of salsa I already had in and I've still got a full one to go. These are things I wasn't using anyway, think they've been bought and leftover from us having friends round and not opening. The tortilla chips I bought the cheapest I could get atthe supermarket. Once they've used the last jar of ready made salsa I'll show how to make their own more cheaply. Mealwise they really loved meatballs and pasta, with a meatball sauce and garlic bread. They wanted to know how much it had cost as it was something they'd like to have when fending for themselves.


And now we come to the non-food part and the reason I've been AWOL for a few days. One of DS friends, has had 2 major things happen whilst they've been here
1, an estranged family member has been back in touch. This isn't the first time family member has tried, it is the first time there's been any hint of reconciliation.
2, there has been a bereavement and it's a possibility that DS's friend is a beneficiary
1and 2 are different sides of the family and 1 happened before 2 (we had already flagged this concern to friend)


Friend though ok at first has suddenly started finding it all overwhelming. We're offerring what help/support/guidance we can.

I am soooooooo relieved that I didn't treat them as ravenous nusiances and instead came on her to ask for suggestions

3secondmemory

It just shows you can never predict the level of support that any one person needs at any time. 

I think it’s doubly important to have grounded advice from someone who isn’t family 😃

Also, you freed up valuable space in a cupboard😃

monnagran

AW, Spendless.  It just goes to show that however old and macho they are, they all need a mum, or a substitute mum, from time to time.

PipneyJane

They will love you forever for your kindness, @Spendless.  You will always be their "other mum" and that is a valuable gift.

- Pip

Mrsduck52

Well done Spendless for all your care and support for these young people - just goes to show non of us know what is round the corner and we have to hope someone would care for our loved ones in a similar situation  

Spendless

And they've gone. The house now seems very big and quiet -lol. I'm home alone as DS has accompanied DH driving them back and DD has gone to see her mate.

The weather changing over the last few days rained them out of the tent. I think up till then they were enjoying the 'festival in the garden' vibe. They stayed with us over the weekend instead of going to a family members as previously planned. This is becaise we have a terminally ill close relative. We got the news this week that there's less time left as previously anticipated. Family member then understandly didn't wish to go away but we'd already told DS friends that they were welcome to stay until today so we just managed in the house.

In the end, for anyone else reading this in a similar position and wondering what I found worked, was having breakfast items they just helped themselves to. Lunch then became a combo of them funding it themselves or finding some sandwich stuff. Evening meals the best ones were things with loads of components to it. Eg a chilli with rice, garlic bread, cooked in the tortilla shells I'd mentioned before or a curry with rice, naan breads etc. Putting several 'sides' to the main meal filled them up more. Snacks were best left to them sorting it out themselves or needing some assembling. They could then decide if it was worth the effort of doing so.

Yesterday evening the whole household played a typical student card game whilst we had drinks. Today I did a full English breakfast to fill them before waving them on their way.
Two of them told DH last night (I'd gone to bed) that they were in a relationship now. We'd already worked this out (I love how young people think parents are dumb hahahaha). The only thing that has come as a surprise to me is it's not the 2 I would have put together. 
So much has happened over the last 2 weeks, that I have accussed DD (a drama student) of secretly signing us up  to some version of The Truman Show  -lol

Now just a decision to be made as to when DS returns to his new Uni accommodation. He wants to go back sooner than his next student loan comes in, so needs a discussion first about the pros and cons of doing so. 
Thanks for everyone's help. 

Spendless

And they're all coming back for Christmas.

Housemate 1, now DS' girlfriend is unable to return to her parents due to medical treatment one of them is receiving. Well she can, but she'd have to self isolate for 2 weeks beforehand, tricky in shared student accommodation. Then at her parents wouldn't be able to go out at all, not even to the local shops. It's very tough on her because she hasn't seen her parents since last year. Anyway DS understandably won't leave her to return to us,if were to take both, that would leave housemate 2 alone because he is estranged from his family and would be spending the 2nd consecutive Christmas alone in student digs at only 21 years old, so they are all coming to me.

As I don't have sufficient space to put them up in the house for more than a few days, they can't return during the student travel window, instead we will have to collect them on Xmas eve and trust they are careful with who/where they mix in the meantime. For this reason we won't be seeing older more vulnerable family once they return. Our own parents are understanding of this situation.

Hopefully I learnt some lessons from the summer, from this very helpful thread. The plan I currently have is to do a buffet tea for Christmas Eve as they arrive. Turkey and trimmings for the day itself and nibbly bits for later if they're still hungry and the following days a curry which is often made with the leftover turkey and a chilli with everything to fill them up.
If I've not thought of something, please shout up. Your advice was invaluable last time. 

no.1swimmum

I've just read your thread, and will certainly be trying some of the suggestions for my 2 sons of 6' 8" who are just permantley hungry, Dh has just had his wages reduced by 20+% and I am disabled only working 3 days a week - although up until Christmas I have picked up another 4 hours to help.  I have been trying lots of new recipes using both my slow cooker and pressure cooker, adding lentils and chickpeas to bulk things out.  One thing that I have started to cook that the boys love is enchiladas - today we are having Sweet Potato and pepper enchilada's with salad and coleslaw - quite filling and reasonable price, I use this recipe https://realfood.tesco.com/recipes/sweet-potato-and-pepper-enchiladas.html, I normally cook a double batch and then theres some for lunch the next day or for DH to take to work.  I'm also trying a chickpea, chorizo and spinach stew that the recipe was in a paper that DH was given last week I'm hoping that they like this as well.
At Christmas I always get a largish piece of gammon, cook in my slow cooked in apple juice, we like this hot on the day its cooked and then cold with vegetalbes, sandwiches etc it does go quite a long way.
Hope these ideas help.

Savvy_Sue

no.1swimmum said:

I normally cook a double batch and then theres some for lunch the next day or for DH to take to work.  

I don't know if I said this before, I believe Spendless did have this problem: if I cooked a double batch of anything when the boys were younger, they would dish up more generously / ask for seconds / demolish the leftovers the same day. If I tried to dish up and leave half, I would receive reproachful looks, you'd think I was starving them (I was not!) 

If I did a roast, and had a few roasties left over, they'd be picked off one by one over the course of the afternoon. So much for frying them up the next day. 

So, know your audience ... 

Spendless

@no.1swimmum - The tips I found helped the most with this, were
1, reduce the (cupboard/fridge) hand to mouth snacks. Once they had to put more effort into making stuff they only did it if they really fancied something, otherwise it either wasn't worth the effort or they funded it themselves (by going to the shops)

2, increase what they ate at actual meal times eg a chilli, would have peppers, beans and onions to bulk it, but also be served in tortilla shells with rice and garlic bread.

A gammon joint is a really good idea thank you, cheap, long dated as they're vaccuum packed and easy to bung in a slow cooker. I will get one in.
I'm going to try your enchiladas recipe too, perfect with a vegetarian DD. I usually have most of the ingrediants in. The ones I don't I went to Aldi not long after reading your post and both sweet potato and the alternative butternut squash suggested were on the super 6, so bought both.
Can't remember if I did mention leftovers or not on here, but yes they do get eaten as extras either at the end of their meal or later that day. Alternatively they go in the fridge and go off as family members 'fancy something else' they following day,,sigh. Only if I get to it and freeze do I ever get leftovers for other days.