Diary of a 30 year old's journey through a DMP

edited 10 August 2020 at 5:55PM in Debt free diaries
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KimbullDFKimbullDF Forumite
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edited 10 August 2020 at 5:55PM in Debt free diaries
Hi Guys. So long story short. I'm a 30 year old married man & extremely happy with my other half. We've been together over 10 years and I couldn't wish for better. Recently we found out we're expecting our first born child (we've been trying for 2 years) ... I was obviously over the moon, and just as my emotions hit their height, my brain reminded me of the extensive debt I've been building up for multiple years. 

I've realised it's now or never to get this resolved as for some reason my brain decided it would all go away at some point, which it clearly hasn't.

I have debts of over 27k split over 5 creditors.
Halifax Loan, Barclaycard CC, Virgin CC, MBNA CC, and most recently PayPal Credit. 

I have approached StepChange for help. I did this on Sunday night whilst curled up in bed, several years of realisation hitting me at once. They're online tool suggested a DMP.

At that time I based it on rough figures, which I later checked thoroughly and revised. They have suggested I pay 380 a month which should clear my debts in just shy of 6 years. Seems like a long time but I'm guessing paying minimum all your life, racking up huge interest and using more credit because you don't have enough spare income would take a damn site longer. Currently I pay 720 a month, which is likely to go up again next year once the virgin 0% passed. 

To date I've submitted my application to SC which they have approved, they've emailed me to advise my creditors have been contacted and my plan will start 1st Sept. To date I haven't actually verbally spoken to anyone. It's all been electronic.

I'm now in a position where I have payments due this month, do I pay these ? Or will the contact from SC prompt them that this won't happen?

I've also read that I should have really let everything default before starting this plan, however I really don't think my current mental state can handle it so I have opted to go ahead asap. I figure I can always stop payments later when I'm more grounded to force the defaults if they don't do it before hand.

The worst part of all of this is that my wife doesn't know any of it. We've always paid everything separate, I pay half and so does she. The rest is our own to do as we please. She has a real phobia of debt so I've always hidden it. I absolutely hate myself for it but now more than ever I don't want her stressed considering the news. I want to resolve my debts, take control before it gets any worse which it will inevitably do if I don't do it now. 

I want things in place before the child is here so I can enjoy the time as opposed to having dealing with this eat me alive.

I welcome all and any opinions, I need people to talk to more than anything as I currently feel so alone and extremely worried.

Replies

  • juliejimjuliejim Forumite
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    Well done on taking the first steps. Hopefully this will take some of the stress away. You just need to make sure you only spend money that you have from now on!
    All the best
    Jue
    NST #10 Steps 7K 2/30 10K 2/12 5 a day 3/30 NSD 0/20
    MBNA £5500
  • KimbullDFKimbullDF Forumite
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    juliejim said:
    Well done on taking the first steps. Hopefully this will take some of the stress away. You just need to make sure you only spend money that you have from now on!
    All the best
    Jue
    Thanks for your reply Jue, I completely agree. One of the main benefits from this is I simply won't have a choice either. Can't use credit if it isn't available to me. The plan will give me the allowance to actually live without using credit to pay off credit. Whilst hopefully paying off what I have built up without the horrendous interest and charges. That's the plan anyway 
  • KimbullDFKimbullDF Forumite
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    The hardest part so far is the mental battle with myself, the whole situation is consuming every inch of brain at present. I find myself doing things in day to day life whilst my brain is purely focused on this. It baffles me as I've been going through life for 8 years building up this debt and not really thinking twice about it. Yes i had the odd sleepless night but after so long it passed and i was back to normal.

    Last night i randomly had the thought that i'm going to be bombarded with CCJ's and lose absolutely everything. Spent hours googling 'likelihood of CCJ on DMP' and similar phrases, every time i got the same result but i read it anyway. I understand its extremely rare and only likely to happen if you ignore people & stop paying, however then that little voice starts whispering. "you'll be the exception".

    My plan is due to start in September, so i rang a couple of the creditors today whose payments are due shortly. I advised them of the situation. MBNA first, the girl was extremely pleasant and understanding, applying 'breathing space' until the DMP stuff is agreed. She then transferred me to Halifax as they're the same outfit, again spoke to a chap about my Loan and he did same regards freezing the account, he even gave me a friendly warning of offsetting and that they're able to move money from one account to another, fortunately I have already made the movement of my EF to a completely new & disconnected account. He then looked into my account and spotted that the DMP request had actually been received today and that the offer had been accepted, so its one down at least!

    I appreciate the advise is to just stop paying, let accounts default then start the DMP, however with my current mental state i would literally have a meltdown doing that, it goes entirely against my nature. For now i will let the DMP run its course and let the dust settle. Hopefully creditors will default the accounts anyway, if not i will re-assess the situation in 6 months time. Potentially reducing payments by a large amount to try and force the creditors hands, or even go self managed.

    For now I need to get out of my own head, i need to change my mentality towards all of this and stop being a victim to credit & interest. I need to make this debt my b***h and sort my self out! The hilarious thing is i take very little !!!!!! in day to day life, however when it comes to finances of this nature i turn into a kitten with 3 legs.

    I'm not even sure if its this that is scaring me, or not having credit available to fund things with, how messed up is that.




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