Helping my partner get debt free

GotPrincess

Hey guys awesome forum!
My partner (26 Yr Old) is in a DMP with step change she has around £3,750 with Step change I'm not sure how much she pays but I am wanting to try clear this for her in some form and then tackle the £5000 for the bank of Mum & Dad.
Would a company like stepchange accept a full and final settlement offer and if so how much?
Is there anything I should check for on her current debt in the plan like enforcements etc or even if the debt is valid she suffers from depression and is Autistic and I plan to move in with her in the new year and getting this out the way would put her on much better footing.

Hope I can get some good advice so I can try at least make a dent in this for her

sourcrates

Stepchange are a debt charity, all they do is pass her payments to her creditors.

Settlement offers should be made to the creditors themselves, the amount of debt is not massive, so don`t expect much in the way of discount, you need to find out each individual balance in order to make an offer, difficult when its not your account.

You could just offer the full amount to stepchange, who would then distribute it amongst her creditors, that would settle the debts in full.

GotPrincess

I can get her to find out the full balances and relay that information to myself I dont have a huge amount of money myself I have around £15000 in spare cash buy Id like to get pay as little as possible considering its not my debt and she has pretty much zero income the last 4 months.

Assuming I can find the information for each debt is she free to end her step change plan at any time and have me deal with the creditors on her behalf

sourcrates

Yes of course, a DMP is an informal agreement, if she wants you to act on her behalf she would need to comunicate that to her creditors etc.

tallyhoh

I would find the cause of the debts & if it has been resolved first. Don't do what I did with my partner & help out only for it to happen time & time again.

GotPrincess

tallyhoh said:

I would find the cause of the debts & if it has been resolved first. Don't do what I did with my partner & help out only for it to happen time & time again.

Agreed and this was just poor life choices which have been worsened with the ability to not work due to Covid and her industry.

She has no means to get any credit with her credit report being ruined and when things go back to normal she is paid mainly cash and Paypal so no credit cards or overdrafts I just doing this to put her in a better position later on in life 

ryanm8655

My first thought is, is there any benefit in doing this in terms of moving in together when coupled with the risk?

Presumably she has defaults showing from the debts in the DMP and those are going to take 6 years to drop off.

Without meaning to be cynical, you may never see that money again if you do pay them off and the relationship may not workout in the longer term. Plus she may just build the debts back up again once she can access credit. Again not meaning to put a downer on things, so apologies if it comes across that way.

So what is the benefit? It’ll still take 6 years for the defaults to drop off.

Socajam

ryanm8655 said:

My first thought is, is there any benefit in doing this in terms of moving in together when coupled with the risk?

Presumably she has defaults showing from the debts in the DMP and those are going to take 6 years to drop off.

Without meaning to be cynical, you may never see that money again if you do pay them off and the relationship may not workout in the longer term. Plus she may just build the debts back up again once she can access credit. Again not meaning to put a downer on things, so apologies if it comes across that way.

So what is the benefit? It’ll still take 6 years for the defaults to drop off.

ryanm8655:  I am 100% with you on this.
Unless the OP's partner learn the true meaning of debt, paying it off will not help.
The best thing to do is allow the partner to pay the debt, move in and carry the load of bills/food.  That way life is a lot easier for the partner, but the bills is still their responsibility.
Unless people feel the pain of their actions, they will never learn that running up debt have consequences.
Also the relationship may not last and bang goes your money.
We are in the worst pandemic in this century, my take would be to not to take on this debt because we have no idea what post corona virus will bring and the last thing you need is to be broke.

GotPrincess

Socajam said:

ryanm8655 said:

My first thought is, is there any benefit in doing this in terms of moving in together when coupled with the risk?

Presumably she has defaults showing from the debts in the DMP and those are going to take 6 years to drop off.

Without meaning to be cynical, you may never see that money again if you do pay them off and the relationship may not workout in the longer term. Plus she may just build the debts back up again once she can access credit. Again not meaning to put a downer on things, so apologies if it comes across that way.

So what is the benefit? It’ll still take 6 years for the defaults to drop off.

ryanm8655:  I am 100% with you on this.
Unless the OP's partner learn the true meaning of debt, paying it off will not help.
The best thing to do is allow the partner to pay the debt, move in and carry the load of bills/food.  That way life is a lot easier for the partner, but the bills is still their responsibility.
Unless people feel the pain of their actions, they will never learn that running up debt have consequences.
Also the relationship may not last and bang goes your money.
We are in the worst pandemic in this century, my take would be to not to take on this debt because we have no idea what post corona virus will bring and the last thing you need is to be broke.

Hi guys so just some background I have said to her that she can pay me in her own time I am very aware it could all go tits up and I never see a penny however I'm taking that risk with open eyes I also agree there is no benefit to me in doing this as its still going to be on her records however with her mental health, home situation where the parents remind her every day that shes in debt to them and she is a failure I believe this will be the springboard to better herself with our without me.
In regards my current situation I have my own grooming range that turns over a lot of money each month I wont miss this over the long term and whilst this was all self inflicted I honestly think this is the best idea she hates the idea of debt no and I honestly think she wouldn't get a credit card again

BabyStepper

I just want to clarify a few things - she has a Stepchange dmp to pay off a variety of debts, she owes her parents £5k and they're giving her a hard time about it, and you're thinking about lending her the cash rather than giving it, in the hope that she can have a fresh start, improve her mental health and pay you back in due course. Is that right?

If it is, then I'd say this.
1. Are you actually in a position to help her? What is your £15k for? A house deposit? Pension? Emergency fund? Can you afford to lose £8,750 of it? How quickly can you replace it? Basically, have you got a good handle on your own financial plan for life?
2. I agree with others that your girlfriend does need to feel the pain of debt in order to learn to budget and never go there again. I'd suggest you leave her to deal with the dmp. 
3. I advise not to borrow money from family as it messes with relationships - people get resentful and judgemental. Her parents sound like they're not supportive of her, adding to her distress and reducing her ability to deal with the problem. Since she already owes them, I suggest if you want to help her, you give her family their £5k to resolve that problem. As long as you are aware that since you're not married, your finances are separate and as others have said, if anything goes wrong with your relationship you will probably lose your money. You need to be ok with that, essentially giving her £5k and hoping it will come back. She may not be able to afford to repay you given her job situation, and it won't help your relationship if she misses payments and you start to get annoyed. 
4. Which leads me back to, can you afford to do that? How secure is your job? 
And also, you can help her in other ways than giving her cash. Be supportive, understanding, help her make a budget and stick to it, go on cheap dates, don't have a lifestyle much more affluent than hers, tell her how well she's doing. None of that costs money and is worth so much more in the long term. 

Danni-R

BabyStepper said:

I just want to clarify a few things - she has a Stepchange dmp to pay off a variety of debts, she owes her parents £5k and they're giving her a hard time about it, and you're thinking about lending her the cash rather than giving it, in the hope that she can have a fresh start, improve her mental health and pay you back in due course. Is that right?

3. I advise not to borrow money from family as it messes with relationships - people get resentful and judgemental. Her parents sound like they're not supportive of her, adding to her distress and reducing her ability to deal with the problem. 

Reading through this has stood out. 
It's lovely what you're trying to do but what has happened between her parents lending her £5k and now? They had the money to lend and whilst £5k is a nice sum it's not enough to fall out over. What has happened to make her parents, who probably know her very well, now want it back?
Thinking about my folks (I'm not your GF by the way) they might be trying to teach her a lesson. If she's borrowed the money and is still spending frivolously in their eyes they would call it in. How is paying it off for her going to help her learn?