I wish my bank account filled as fast as the washing basket

Debtoverit

I found out during my final year at uni that I was pregnant. Being students our money was stretched, by the time I graduated she was one month old. The first loan came in when we decided to move back home, and this was in the form of Amigo as no one else would touch us. Without it we couldn’t have afforded the deposit, and I was adamant I wasn’t moving back in with parents with a child. It seemed innocent enough, we were sensible working out repayments, comparing it to what our income would be (partner had already secured a job for when we moved). We felt this was the right thing to do, instead it became a spiral. The costs of living where a lot higher where we moved compared to what we used to, as well as the additional costs of a child we quickly needed a credit card. As Christmas approached I realised that we had nothing saved to give her the Christmas I wanted, we put it into a very account with the buy now pay later for 12 months. We stayed afloat for the next few months until Christmas came round, I hadn’t cleared very and had nothing for Christmas again. We took out a 0% balance card and vowed it wouldn’t happen again, but agreed very was needed for another year. Then the interest was added to the student overdrafts, more cards were needed to pay bills, other cards, a loan for the overdrafts that was quickly sunk. December 2018 we had another child, costs went up again. By December 2019 I felt like I was literally drowning, with no way out. Christmas was ruined again through debt and lack of foresight. I swore it wouldn’t happen again. I wanted the family days out, for me and my partner to learn to drive, a holiday now and again. 

January 2020 I wrote down all of the creditors we owed, 16 of them between us. I can’t remember exactly how much we owed but it was around £20,000. The minimum payments were around £800 per month, I felt physically sick, I couldn’t even explain where all the money had gone. The next day was just spent on the phone. We rang up every single creditor and explained the situation. Apart from one all were sympathetic and helpful, minimum payments were lowered and interest froze. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted. I cried happy tears, frustrated tears, angry tears. But the feeling of relief was the biggest emotion I remember feeling that day. 

This brings us to now, August 2020. I have been plodding along making those payments, but when I added up how much I still owe I felt disheartened, it didn’t feel like it was moving. Yesterday and today I have sat down and budgeted, and planned, meal planned, set up savings accounts and just generally been more proactive. The debt total at this point is £18,820. 

 We WILL quit smoking, and every time I get tempted the money I would have spent will be moved into the savings account. I WILL start over paying on minimum payments, and most importantly I WILL start saving for Christmas before I mess it up/give in to temptation or ‘ease’ again. But most importantly I WILL change my lifestyle. 

I found this forum by chance, but I am hoping the act of writing it down, for everyone to see, will make me fee accountable for it and motivate me to keep going. Currently according to my budget I will be debt free by July 2024. I am hoping to do better than that. 

Debtoverit

So day one, could have been better but also a lot worse. Sat down and double checked the meal plan by going through all the cupboards to see what I could use up without buying other stuff, turned out quite a bit! By the time I had finished the online shop the total was £170 instead of the usual £250. That’s for a family of 4 and includes toiletries, nappies/wipes (for 2) and food for the month. I’m so proud of myself as I have always struggled to get the costs down but never found it possible. The extra £80 has gone straight into the savings account, still trying to work out whether to put some to the debts or keep it away for Christmas, as before this the savings where £0. 

Gone through the budget again today too being a bit more strict on myself. My diary turned up so I have wrote down any spends that we have done in there, as well as exactly where the income needs to go when we get it all the way up until January 2022. Hoping this will help to keep me on the right track, you never know your luck. 

The plan for the next few days is to go through the house and start finding things we can get rid of, I’m sure this will not only help the bank balance but also my mental state by not feeling so cluttered. 

PommeVerte

Well done on having your lightbulb moment, onwards and upwards from now on ! I will be following your journey and cheering you on, i have 3 young children and i can totally relate to the decluttering and can confirm that it improves parents' mental state ! I always try and have the dining table clear of mess and wiped down after every meal as this is where me n hubby (and guests) sit and chat/drink our tea etc. And our bedroom is as clutter free as poss and bed made, which makes it feel like a haven 😆

PommeVerte

oh and for reducing baby wipe costs, i just use these little microfiber cloths with water (thoroughly drying baby's bum after of course) but only for urine only nappies lol !! Wipes for numbers 2s ! I invested in these cloths with my 1st baby tho, they cost about 12£ i think, but u could probably do the same with cut up towels/flannels from a charity shop ?

natlie

Hi
I had a baby in-between my first and second year at Uni, she turned 20 last month Most of my student loan went on childcare and clothes for her so i came out of Uni with debt like you too. 

Its been up and down in 2014 I was debt free after paying off £30k buy selling my house and moving into a rented house, which we love. But 2020 and I'm back up to £30K debt started a DMP in June. My DFD is also 2024 (hoping sooner). 

I've found decluttering and meal planning really helpful. I can't believe you can keep your food budget to low my children (8, 15) at home eat so much our monthly budget is £400 

Good luck with your plan, I will keep an eye on your diary  

Debtoverit

PommeVerte said:

oh and for reducing baby wipe costs, i just use these little microfiber cloths with water (thoroughly drying baby's bum after of course) but only for urine only nappies lol !! Wipes for numbers 2s ! I invested in these cloths with my 1st baby tho, they cost about 12£ i think, but u could probably do the same with cut up towels/flannels from a charity shop ?

Thank you, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted now I’ve taken some control and responsibility. I’m not even sure where to start with the decluttering, but I guess take it one room at a time. 

As for the baby wipes, how does this work? Sorry if that sounds really silly, but I’m imagining having a whole cleaning accessory pile to go with it. Although a flannel by the kitchen sink for sticky fingers instead of wipes probably wouldn’t be a bad idea! 

Debtoverit

natlie said:

Hi
I had a baby in-between my first and second year at Uni, she turned 20 last month Most of my student loan went on childcare and clothes for her so i came out of Uni with debt like you too. 

Its been up and down in 2014 I was debt free after paying off £30k buy selling my house and moving into a rented house, which we love. But 2020 and I'm back up to £30K debt started a DMP in June. My DFD is also 2024 (hoping sooner). 

I've found decluttering and meal planning really helpful. I can't believe you can keep your food budget to low my children (8, 15) at home eat so much our monthly budget is £400 

Good luck with your plan, I will keep an eye on your diary  

Best of luck to you too, we can help cheer each other on to make sure we reach our targets. 

I’ve always spent around £250 for the main shop, and then I allow £30 a week for top ups (milk, bread, fruit, cat litter) so near the £400 mark. The most expensive person to feed is my son who is allergic to dairy, but as he’s working his way up the milk ladder and eating more of what we do hopefully the costs will come down a bit more 

PommeVerte

Debtoverit said:

PommeVerte said:

oh and for reducing baby wipe costs, i just use these little microfiber cloths with water (thoroughly drying baby's bum after of course) but only for urine only nappies lol !! Wipes for numbers 2s ! I invested in these cloths with my 1st baby tho, they cost about 12£ i think, but u could probably do the same with cut up towels/flannels from a charity shop ?

Thank you, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted now I’ve taken some control and responsibility. I’m not even sure where to start with the decluttering, but I guess take it one room at a time. 

As for the baby wipes, how does this work? Sorry if that sounds really silly, but I’m imagining having a whole cleaning accessory pile to go with it. Although a flannel by the kitchen sink for sticky fingers instead of wipes probably wouldn’t be a bad idea! 

Ha no, my changing table is next to the sink in the bathroom so i just run the cloth under some water and wipe away ! Then dry with a wry cloth, and i wash them with our normal washing. I have about 25 of them i think. I also used them for number 2s when breastfeeding as thats not "dirty" poo. So glamourous being a mum. But the most money saving thing you can do is get them potty trained asap really, here in france children are potty trained by 1 n a half or 2 at the latest as they all go to school at 2 ! 

I do use wipes when out n about tho ! So practical. 

But youre right, even just a flannel in the kitchen for sticky faces n hands will save a few wipes, and in turn bin bags ! Win win !

Debtoverit

PommeVerte said:Ha no, my changing table is next to the sink in the bathroom so i just run the cloth under some water and wipe away ! Then dry with a wry cloth, and i wash them with our normal washing. I have about 25 of them i think. I also used them for number 2s when breastfeeding as thats not "dirty" poo. So glamourous being a mum. But the most money saving thing you can do is get them potty trained asap really, here in france children are potty trained by 1 n a half or 2 at the latest as they all go to school at 2 ! 

I do use wipes when out n about tho ! So practical. 

But youre right, even just a flannel in the kitchen for sticky faces n hands will save a few wipes, and in turn bin bags ! Win win !

Ah, we do it in the living room, so a little bit harder to get round, but certainly not impossible! I will definitely have a look into it. We are currently in the process of potty training our 3 year old (she starts preschool in September) which is going well, until we try and put her in pants and then she just seems to forget. My 18 month old I couldn’t even imagine trying to potty train, I have no idea how you do it so young! 

PommeVerte

Debtoverit said:

PommeVerte said:Ha no, my changing table is next to the sink in the bathroom so i just run the cloth under some water and wipe away ! Then dry with a wry cloth, and i wash them with our normal washing. I have about 25 of them i think. I also used them for number 2s when breastfeeding as thats not "dirty" poo. So glamourous being a mum. But the most money saving thing you can do is get them potty trained asap really, here in france children are potty trained by 1 n a half or 2 at the latest as they all go to school at 2 ! 

I do use wipes when out n about tho ! So practical. 

But youre right, even just a flannel in the kitchen for sticky faces n hands will save a few wipes, and in turn bin bags ! Win win !

Ah, we do it in the living room, so a little bit harder to get round, but certainly not impossible! I will definitely have a look into it. We are currently in the process of potty training our 3 year old (she starts preschool in September) which is going well, until we try and put her in pants and then she just seems to forget. My 18 month old I couldn’t even imagine trying to potty train, I have no idea how you do it so young! 

I just went on the advice of my childminder who'd gotten about a million children potty trained in her career ! Just let them wander around butt naked and encourage them to use the potty régularly, after about 6 or 7 days of accidents youre done ! Theyre potty trained, during the day at least ! Obviously best to do in the summer months ! My 1st daughter took about 5 days and my son about 7 or 8 days. Still nappies for naps and nighttime, but they stop at night too once theyve got the hang of it. And its important not to make a big deal of the accidents, just encouragements. It does mean u cant go anywhere for a few days but with covid i suppose being hermits is just everyday life now !

But actually thinking about it, no one in france has carpets... maybe thats why the brits dont use this method of potty training lol.... everyone here had tiled floors which are easily mopped after accidents

Debtoverit

So none of the decluttering I had planned happened, but I did sign myself up to a couple of survey sites instead and have managed to make just under £5 so I suppose I can argue it was a productive day. 

I can also officially call myself a non smoker! Or at least a very trying one if after only a few hours that’s an ambitious name to give myself. Our baccy ran out at around lunchtime and I refused to buy anymore, so this will be the biggest struggle I face this month I’m sure, although all worth it in the end. I totalled it up and smoking alone probably cost us around £180-200 a month! 😮 I can’t imagine what I would be able to do with that instead.