Power of Attorney and Estranged Relatives

Flugelhorn

TBagpuss said:

As her attorney, you have to act in your grandmother's best interests, and it is appropriate to take into account her own wishes. I think that if your grandmother reached out to her sons when she still had capacity, and is asking about them now, then it would not be unreasonable for you to try to contact them to let them know of her state of health and that she would like to see them / hear from them.If they chose to continue to hold a grudge rather than to see her that's their decision to make, but you will have done what you can.

they don't have any power to revoke or override the POA so you don't need to be concerned about that (and if it came to it, you could use the power of attorney to prevent them having contact with her, if they did not behave appropriately.)

I would recommend that you use your gran's money to buy her things, rather than using your own. That's what it is for, and as long as you keep records and receipts no-one can (successfully) accuse you of anything. It sounds as though she is lucky to have you looking out for her. 

I agree with all this - if you don't contact them to let them know  how gran is and about your mother it will lead to repercussions later and if they get ratty about the will then this will just add fuel to the fire "you didn't let us know about x... and we wanted to know"(even if they didn't)
There is nothing wrong with using gran's money to buy things that she wants - better to do this, keep records and you will be be seen to acting properly as attorney.

kayleighali

Thank you for all your replies, it has certainly put my mind at ease.

I have spoken to other family members concerned and they have agreed that the brothers should be told so I will set that up. If they choose not to engage then that is up to them, but at least they can't say they didn't have the opportunity (even though they have had the opportunity for the last 10 years but that's by the by)

In regards to the money, I know I can use it, I think it's just me that has the issue. It almost feels wrong to be using someone else's money when they are not there if you know what I mean

KxMx

The POA gives you the authorisation to use her money for her needs, she wanted you to be POA and obviously trusted you to spend her money wisely should that need arise  

TBagpuss

kayleighali said:

Thank you for all your replies, it has certainly put my mind at ease.

I have spoken to other family members concerned and they have agreed that the brothers should be told so I will set that up. If they choose not to engage then that is up to them, but at least they can't say they didn't have the opportunity (even though they have had the opportunity for the last 10 years but that's by the by)

In regards to the money, I know I can use it, I think it's just me that has the issue. It almost feels wrong to be using someone else's money when they are not there if you know what I mean

Perhaps it would help if you don't think of it as you using her money, think of it as her using her money - you are just facilitating it . it's not a lot different to if she had given you some cash and asked you to pop to the shop to pick up a feew things for her, the difference now is that you don't have to wait for her to ask. 

Diana2014

kayleighali said:

... it specifies in the will that the contents of her accounts go directly to me - previously was my mother. There are specific cash gifts to the great-grandchildren as the will was written before her house was sold. These are no longer payable as there won't be enough money in the estate so my thinking was that I could distribute the money in the accounts evenly between all grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
I am executor of the will ...

You must NOT use the power of attorney, or the status of executor under the will, to alter the provisions made in the will. That would be an abuse of the powers given to you by your grandmother and wholly illegal.
Doing so would render you liable to be deprived of both the powers to act as your grandmother's attorney and of the office of executor. A challenge to how the estate was distributed would also make you liable for refunding, out of your own pocket, any amounts distributed other than in strict accordance with the terms of the will - plus the challenger's legal fees, which could be huge.
If the estate is too small to pay all the cash gifts that your grandmother intended, then every gift will have to be reduced pro rata ie to the point where something (however small) can be paid to every named beneficiary, in proportion to the amounts of the original bequests. So a beneficiary who was originally left £100 while others were left £50 each might end up with £10 while they got £5 each - just by way of example.

kayleighali

Diana2014 said:

kayleighali said:

... it specifies in the will that the contents of her accounts go directly to me - previously was my mother. There are specific cash gifts to the great-grandchildren as the will was written before her house was sold. These are no longer payable as there won't be enough money in the estate so my thinking was that I could distribute the money in the accounts evenly between all grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
I am executor of the will ...

You must NOT use the power of attorney, or the status of executor under the will, to alter the provisions made in the will. That would be an abuse of the powers given to you by your grandmother and wholly illegal.
Doing so would render you liable to be deprived of both the powers to act as your grandmother's attorney and of the office of executor. A challenge to how the estate was distributed would also make you liable for refunding, out of your own pocket, any amounts distributed other than in strict accordance with the terms of the will - plus the challenger's legal fees, which could be huge.
If the estate is too small to pay all the cash gifts that your grandmother intended, then every gift will have to be reduced pro rata ie to the point where something (however small) can be paid to every named beneficiary, in proportion to the amounts of the original bequests. So a beneficiary who was originally left £100 while others were left £50 each might end up with £10 while they got £5 each - just by way of example.

This thread is almost a year and a half old and was specifically about another issue.

Not sure where you got that I was going to abuse the powers...however, just to reassure you - the cash gifts were to be given from the sale of her house rather than the funds in her accounts (specified this way in the will) - the house is long gone to pay for care costs. The money would be effectively coming out of my own pocket (as the accounts are specifically allocated to me) to ensure that everyone still got something rather than saying "Oh well, nothing left so no money for you"